Tuesdays with Daddy – Father’s Edition

To all the men who are fathers… today’s “Tuesdays with Daddy” is for you.  Unfortunately, my opportunity to be home with my girls on Tuesdays will be coming to an end in about a month.  I thought it would be a good idea to put forth a challenge to all the dads out there, to keep you thinking, to keep you purposeful in your parenting.  Read over these questions and be honest with yourself about the answers.  If something’s not up to par, make a change today.  I believe that we are all on a journey towards being the best father that we can be.  The journey requires us to always be moving forward, always toward being better.

• Do you tell your children, not just everyday, but every chance you have, that you love them?
• Do your actions match up with your words?
• Do you love your wife?
• Does your love (action!) match up with your “I love yous”?
• Do your children see you loving your wife?
• Do your children have a healthy and realistic understanding of love, or is it what they see on television, in movies and online?
• Do you prioritize your life well?  Or do you give one (or more) part more attention and neglect the other things you ought to be doing?
• Are you addicted to anything?  Porn?  Alcohol?  ESPN?  Work? etc.
• Are you working to overcome your addiction?  (Ask me if you need resources… Dave@TrueManhood.com)
• Do you strive to grow in virtue?
• Are you faithful to a daily prayer life?  To a Sacramental life?
• Do your children know that you pray?
• Do you pray with your children everyday?
• Are you actively involved in the spiritual formation of your children daily?
• Do you pass on responsibilities and place them on your wife and/or childcare provider?
• Do you rejoice in your children?
• What else do you need to work on?

Man up!

“Our lives change when our habits change.”  – Matthew Kelly

Fighting for Manliness Video

I finally got some of the video edited from my talk at the 2010 FOCUS National Conference in Orlando, FL on New Year’s Eve 2009. The talk was titled “Fighting for Manliness” for the Men’s Impact Sessions. The crowd for the two sessions totaled around 1,500 college men.

The video below is only part 1 of the 50 minute video.

In this talk, I highlighted some major points, including: What is Manliness?,  Manly Leadership,  Living Virtue,  Fighting the Giant of Pornography and more.

If your content is removed by your server, click HERE to view the video on YouTube.

Tools and Resources

TrueManhood Men’s Ministry offers various tools and resources for men.  If you don’t see something on this site, but are curious if we have anything for you, please ask.  Find us on social media, or email us at Info@TrueManhood.com.

---

Regarding pornography addiction: There are numerous resources available for men (and women) who have addictions to pornography.  The essential element in dealing with an addiction is that the FIRST STEP towards recovery takes place.  The next important step is the continual work.  The journey is long and hard but the freedom that comes from breaking the chains of an addiction to pornography is almost overwhelming.  I highly recommend checking out TrueManhood’s Guide called “5 Step Plan” and then determine what sort of resource(s) you need to make your plan effective.  Here are just a few ideas, and a few resources.

---

---

• Serious prayer and a life full of the Sacraments!
• Your PLAN is essential, figure out what it needs to be, then put it into action.
• Accountability with your accountability partner.  This person needs to be a man and should not be your female friend, sister, girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.
• Spiritual Direction with a priest.  I recommend seeing a priest regularly so that you can obtain necessary graces from the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
• Sexaholics Anonymous – check your local area for locations and times.
• Counseling/Coaching (Email us at ContactUs@TrueManhood.com for more information.)  Group Counseling may be a good option as well.
• Support Groups/Men’s Groups
• Books, Prayer Guides, DVDs, CDs, Podcasts, Websites, etc.
• Internet filters, software and firewalls.

I also highly recommend installing Covenant Eyes on all of your devices (including each and every device you have access to).  For a reasonable monthly fee, Covenant Eyes offers accountability and filtering.  Click HERE to receive a free month of Covenant Eyes.

TrueMan up!

“The Physical Part is the Hardest for Us” – Get Rid of the Porn

I recently received an email from a loyal reader of the website. Inside the email contained a story that I have heard many times. The story of a young man, striving for holiness, in a relationship with a wonderful young woman, also striving for holiness. Yet, undoubtedly, this couple has “weakness of the flesh”. Just yesterday I received an email from another young gentleman, a first-time reader of the site, who told me similar information. How does a couple prevent this sort of temptation? How does a couple who has already experienced physical intimacy with one another bounce back and live chastity? How does a couple know when they’ve crossed the line?

Let’s be honest… it’s normal to be physically attracted to someone you are in a romantic relationship with!  Duh! It’s usually a tell-tale sign that the relationship isn’t going anywhere when you aren’t.  That’s not usually the problem.  Typically, the problem is that one or both of the persons in the relationship have had physical relationships before.  One may think that the other expects certain things, or they may think that in order to keep them, they need to “do things”.  They may also think that “it’s normal” or that “it’s what people in love do”.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the majority of relationships that are prematurely physically intimate, one or both of the individuals in the relationship either have a problem with pornography, are infatuated with the media or feel some sort of pressure to perform.  I believe that without these major stumbling blocks in the way, a couple is more apt to lead healthy, chaste relationships.

Why do these stumbling blocks matter?  If someone is involved with pornography, their entire perception of truth, as related to sexuality, is skewed.  They are unable to see the beauty which God created and intended sex to be.  If someone is infatuated with the media, they often put themselves in the place of their favorite star, character or role.  This becomes fantasy and is problematic when reality sets in.  Either way, neither individual is in a place where they are even supposed to be giving themselves as a free-gift to their significant other simply because they aren’t married yet!  Living a life of selfish, hedonistic motivations leads only to more selfishness.  Selfishness kills relationships.

You may be wondering why I’m bringing this up.  I know, from my countless discussions with hundreds and hundreds of men from all over the country, most of whom have/had addictions to pornography, that most of us would not have issues with physical intimacy (prior to or in marriage) if it weren’t for our weakness and failures associated with our addiction.  I urge you to get rid of the porn!  It is secretly destroying your life.  You may not be able to see it, but I speak from personal experience… it’s creeping in where ever it can and it will pounce at the right time.  If you want to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship, with the woman of your dreams (I have this!!!) work on your personal chastity starting RIGHT NOW!  Work on being self-giving, instead of self-serving.  Selfishness is a horrible trait, so get rid of it.

Coming up soon, keeping our eyes on Christ on the Cross.

Man up!

Are You Fighting?

Men,

Are you fighting?  Are you ready for battle?  Have you been training?  When temptations come your way, are you ready for war?

If you haven’t read through the page (above) titled “Fighting Porn” I urge you to read it and put it into action.  If you’ve read it, re-read it.  Another day gone by without training and a battle mission is another day you will be held in slavery to the grave evils of pornography and masturbation.  These are mortal sins, meaning that they cut off the life of grace from the Father.  These grave evils will ruin your life, and every single relationship you have in the future.  Don’ wait, stand up and fight.

Don’t try to kid yourself.  Stop justifying your actions.  You can achieve freedom from pornography and masturbation – I am a walking testimony to this fact.  Never stop fighting, never let your guard down.  There is a way out, you must actively work towards it and allow God’s grace to fill your heart, your mind, your life.  You can do it!  Go, and do it!

If you need assistance with your plan, or how to figure out your plan, or how to start accountability with your brother(s), or any other assistance, please email me at proveritasspeakers@gmail.com.

Man up!

Can you Believe it?

Believe it… the pornography industry is a giant, preying on unsuspecting victims.  Once it has a grip, it isn’t likely to let go, unless the prey decides to fight back.  This “fighting back” can’t be weak.  It must be calculated, planned and executed perfectly in order for the battle to be won. 

For many years, I was held captive by an incredible grip… a grip that left marks, wounds and scars; not to mention emotional memories.  For years, I lay helpless to pornography’s grasp.  I knew not where to turn, or how to start fighting.  Thanks to my brothers-in-Christ, I was able to begin fighting back and eventually, through God’s mercy, forgiveness and strength, I overcame the grip and applied a strangle-hold back upon my aggressor.  I’m not out of the woods yet (I’m still a living, breathing man!)… but my life is no longer controlled by porn.

The porn industry portrays itself as normal, as something “everybody does”.  It’s makes men think that it’s completely normal to injest incredibly large doses of smut, lust and obscenity.  Guess what, it’s not normal.  We were created for greatness, not for mediocrity and what “everybody else is doing”.  We’re called to stand and defend, especially against sly predators.  (Remember how cunning the serpent was in the garden with Adam and Eve?) 

If you are currently in porn’s grasp, there are ways out.  Make sure you check out the tab “Fighting Porn” located at the top of the page for some initial advice and help.  If, at any time, you need someone to talk to, contact me.  A True Man fights back against the things in life that are temptations and conduits to sin.

Man up!

« Previous Page