Catholic Men’s Blog, Back Up and Running!

With great excitement, I write to let everyone know that TrueManhood is back up and running!  After a break for over 2 months due to a website hack, we were finally able to remove all the malware and are back at it.  Thank you to the hacker for allowing me to learn about website security a little bit more and about ways to protect my website from future hacks.  I pray for you and hope for your sake, that  from now on, instead of hacking my website, that you actually read it.

Many things have taken place in the world of Catholic men’s ministry, in the Catholic Church, in the pro-life battle and in America and we are sorry that we’ve missed it.

More to come soon on the fight against pornography, cultural manliness, and the culture of death!

TrueMan up!

The Ultimate Goal

I wrote this article at the beginning of 2011 around the time of Super Bowl XLV for iibloom.com.  Now, as the NFL regular season, NCAA FB regular season and MLB postseason, comes near, it is a good reminder of our ultimate goal.  Hope you enjoy.

For professional athletes, the goal of their career is to become a champion. For players in the National Football League, the Super Bowl is the goal. To hold the Vince Lombardi Trophy and forever go down in history as a champion. To wear an incredibly large, diamond-encrusted ring. To have “Super Bowl Champion” added to your name. But how does one become a Super Bowl champion?

For most, the road to the Super Bowl is a long one. Most have played football since their adolescence and made their way through the ranks playing pee wee football, middle school, high school and college football. Some even had stints in arena football, foreign leagues and on semi-professional teams. They have devoted themselves to countless practices, to weight lifting, running, learning, watching game tape, team work and being coached. They have put in endless hours getting better at what they do. They never give up, striving for perfection.

Now, as the players from the two teams heading to Super Bowl XLV prepare for the biggest game of their careers, their “football past” comes to a head. All of the hard work, the determination, the commitment, the struggle…will it pay off? Will they be rewarded for their work? Only one team, the players, coaches and personnel, will be crowned champions.

Let us now correlate this to our own lives and more specifically, our spiritual lives. If we want to attain the goal, which should always be Heaven, we must put in even more work than professional athletes. Unlike the teams in the Super Bowl, we all have the chance to be crowned! We must, each and every day, place our priority on our spiritual well-being. We can look to the example of these athletes, much like St. Paul wrote in the Scriptures, “compete so as to win.” The example that athletes give us, as to how commitment and endurance can pay off, is a great example to follow. However, instead of being committed to physical practices, weight lifting, running and watching game tape, we should be committed to the Sacraments, to prayer, to spiritual reading, to personal growth in virtue and so on. For us, our hard work is not for the temporal world. Our hard work is not for a perishable crown, a trophy, a diamond-encrusted ring, or history books. Our hard work will be the reward of eternal salvation with God the Father in Heaven.

It seems to me that the hardest thing in life (my “game” situation) is that I allow all the little stuff to prevent me from giving it my all, and I get side tracked from the priority of competing with excellence and I fail to train like I used to when I was an athlete. I sort of “let life happen to me” instead of living life. I think about this a lot and constantly have to remind myself to be diligent in my spiritual training. If only I gave my spiritual training the same effort I used to give my athletic training, maybe then I’d reach my ultimate goal.

Porn Shop Shuts Down Near Buffalo, NY

Lots of people ask us if we believe that we can make a difference with our protests of sexually oriented businesses.  We always answer “Of course!”  When we’re out there, it’s easy to question our effectiveness, but we do make a difference.  The Catholic men’s group in Buffalo, NY knows this well, too.  They call themselves The Men of Jesus Christ.  I suggest you check out their website.  Here’s a recent story from them about a porn shop they were instrumental in shutting down.

Now this isn’t news from the Wall Street Journal, but for us in this small town of Kenmore NY, it is a tremendous victory.  I am talking about the Village Books and News adult shop located in one of the most densely populated family areas in Buffalo.  It is a full fledged porn shop and has been in the town for over 30 years.  Indecency laws have been passed to ban pornography shops in the town, but since this the shop was established before the laws were passed, they were grandfathered in, and has remained the eye-sore of the community.  The other day as I was passing by I noticed that the neon sign that says “Adult Video” has been turned off for the first time in 30 years, and a sign that says the store is closed.  A shop that was open 24 hours a day is now gone.

The last time people protested the establishment was in the days of its inception back in the late 70’s and since then it has been tucked in a plaza that most people don’t pay attention to, not because they feel it isn’t harmful, but because it has been there for so long, and its reign has finally come to an end.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago when a couple of us guys decided to pray out there on a weekly basis when a revival began, and it was met with a fight.  We decided to engage in prayer and nothing else in front the place.  Peaceful and prayerful.  We were met with the police threatening arrest, to people screaming and shouting at us, to engaging conversation from people wondering what we were doing.  This one time we were praying as we usually do, and a guy was walking toward us.  When he passed us, there was no eye contact, no conversation, and he planted himself right next to us and started praying with us. When we finished, he kept on his way.  It was simply an amazing act of the Holy Spirit.  It is difficult though.  There was a time when a couple of girls were passing by and asked us what we were doing. We told them and they were shocked, only because they felt there there is nothing wrong with it. After a long conversation. the one girl admitted that her father had a huge porn addiction and went on to explain how that affected her as a female and her relationships with other men.  It was touching, but at the same time devastating.

I have a tendency to think we were doing good out there, but when it comes down to it, it was God’s will that lead the way. I cannot help to think that it was prayer that led to the shutdown of this joint, and it was difficult, to say the least to keep it going.  In Buffalo, when its cold, well, its COLD.  And during prayer we got in the habit of kneeling as we sung the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, which needless to say was not pleasant to listen to when you hear voices like ours.  We know it had an effect though.  There was a night when we started singing, and the clerk as he heard us, would increase the volume of a movie playing in the shop.  As he raised the volume inside, we raised the volume outside. You just knew there was a spiritual battle taking place.  We would start with the St. Michael prayer and then entrust the closing of this place to Mary, a living sign of purity, the real Woman, followed by a rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  It was our Mother that guided the closing of this place.  It is Her that is leading this mission.

I want to simply conclude that anyone reading this can make a difference in your area.  All you need to do is say YES!  Say yes to going to a place to pray in public even if it makes you feel incredibly uncomfortable.  Christ knows that, and all He asks is for you to be His vessel and He will do the rest. Christ has allowed us to be disciples in His mission and He is calling you too!  You just need to answer the call.  Three guys joined together in prayer in front of multiple indecent shops and this is what God has brought from it:
1) We prayed out in the warmth and the cold for such a long time, and this book shop shuts down after over 30 years.
2) We prayed once outside of the hamburg strip club, the place shuts down a few weeks later
3) We prayed and acted on the pornographic building with a cover sign facing all traffic of a major turnpike, the sign was removed within 2 weeks after the owner said it would never come down.
4) Family Video has yet to get a tenant to their building, which is the cornerstone to them staying economically viable.
This was achieved with a small number of guys. You men reading this can do the same.  What if there were 10 guys?  What if there were 20 guys?  What if there were 100 guys? What of there were teams scattered around the city protesting these places?  We could change an entire community!

You are being called as men to organize and shut these places down, which includes porn shops, strip clubs, and abortion clinics.  If you have not been out, get motivated to change this culture, and in return God will take care of the rest. We will be engaging in more battles to come so stay tuned to the site.  Stay strong brothers and God Bless

Vince DeStefano – Movement of My Heart in Words

My friend and fellow TKM brother, Vince DeStefano, sent me this small excerpt of something he wrote while he was praying this morning.  Vince is real – he’s a TrueMan in every sense of the word, and he’s sincere.  He’s a great man, a great husband, a great father and a great friend.  He’s incredibly generous and humble.

Regardless of what your sin is, read through this and put yourself in the place of “I”.

“Lost in a deep thicket, hidden in an unknown forest, I cry out in desperation.  Christ approaches me directly,cutting through material with pure light and creating a straight path in his wake.  He reaches me, and I feel intense shame and unworthiness.  I plead to him, and though He remains wordless in reply I understand that my sins encumber me, realizing now that my feet are tangled in the brush.  Christ turns and walks back from whence He came, taking with Himself the brilliance yet leaving an illuminated path, still straight, and seeming to implore me to determine the nature of the weeds which entangle my feet in order to destroy them and then fully pursue my purpose. While of course wishing to remain in His intense light of reprieve from temporal encumbrance, I’m left with renewed Faith, Hope, and compelling Love, filled with eagerness and determination to tear myself from Satan’s thorns and run after my Savior.”

TrueMan up!

Rosary Masculinity – May, the Month of Mary

I often tell men that the Rosary, although a bit contrary to our initial inclination, is an incredibly powerful prayer for men.  After all, if we want to be more like Christ (the perfection of masculinity), shouldn’t we think about, imitate and meditate on his life?  What a perfect tool the Church gives us in the Rosary!

Here’s a great article from Jason Godin, posted on Catholic News Agency yesterday, May 2, 2011 about Rosary Masculinity…

Some elements of our culture are calling men to embrace a very dark form of masculinity, based on violence, domination of women and self-adulation – messages that are found in video games, movies and music.

Yet real men know the emptiness, futility and ultimate falsehood of this view of life. As we begin this month of May – this month of Mary – men from all walks of life should accept the challenge of living a different form of masculinity by praying the rosary daily. Men who commit themselves to contemplating the rosary mysteries will discover a treasury of lessons on how to define masculinity and live it actively, fearlessly and full of hope.

Joyful Mysteries

The Joyful Mysteries, recited on Mondays and Saturdays, provide a basic definition of masculinity. By exalting in the fact that Mary answered “Yes” to the angel Gabriel at the Annunciation, men can see that the masculine life is worth living as God chose to live among men. Placing oneself prayerfully in the sandals of St. Joseph at the Nativity helps men appreciate how the masculine life, even in its earliest stage, is also precious and worth defending. The Presentation reveals how men can find authentic masculinity by remaining obedient observers of absolute truth found through, in, and with Christ. Living, defending, and obediently observing absolute truth is not easy for men in any age of history, but as Zachariah must have realized upon learning that his barren wife, Elizabeth, carried a child, nothing is impossible with God.

Luminous Mysteries

The Luminous Mysteries, the latest addition to the rosary added by Blessed John Paul II, are recited on Thursdays. In these “Mysteries of Light,” the public ministry of Jesus Christ between his Baptism and his Passion reveals to men how to transform their masculinity into fearless action. Jesus proclaimed the Kingdom of God by instructing others with teachings and parables. The lessons continue to remain relevant for men in their mission for masculinity, as Jesus addressed such topics as anger, adultery, divorce, oaths, retaliation, almsgiving, and fasting (cf. Mt 3-7). The Wedding at Cana and, later, the Transfiguration, confirm how real masculinity requires not only listening to Jesus when instructed by Mary, but to do so fearlessly (cf. Jn 2:5, Mt 17:7). The Institution of the Eucharist nourishes men with the fact that such fearless, active masculinity is never accomplished alone.

The Sorrowful Mysteries

The Sorrowful Mysteries, recited on Tuesdays and Fridays, illustrate for men the personal price of responsible masculinity. Jesus’ agonizing prayer on the Mount of Olives reminds men that even the Alpha Male struggled but persevered in love for mankind (cf. Lk 22:42). Jesus himself suffered harsh physical pain when scourged at the pillar and crowned with thorns by mocking soldiers. Masculinity demands men constantly to carry their own crosses – in their families, workplace, and communities – with the same humble stamina of Jesus. The crucifixion illuminates in a profound way how masculinity requires that men must ultimately “die to self” in their service and love of others.

Glorious Mysteries

The Glorious Mysteries, recited on Wednesdays and Sundays, provide masculinity with crucial dimensions of renewal, hope andnobility. When contemplating the Resurrection, men realize how they can always rediscover and relive masculinity even when they stumble. The Ascension directs masculine sights away from mundane goals and toward a destiny of heavenly triumph. Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended upon the disciples, shows how the power of the Holy Spirit can provide even a timid masculinity with an inner strength. Finally, the Assumption and Coronation of the Blessed Virgin Mary illustrate masculinity as a knightly privilege, where men walk beside Mary, the Queen of the Angels and Saints, when contemplating the face of Christ.

Men, use this month to pray the rosary on a daily basis. But be prepared. Heeding the challenge just might make you think and act more like a man of God.

* Jason Godin teaches U.S. history at Blinn College in Bryan, Texas, where he lives with his wife and two children.

And, just as a shout out to a friend and former college and master’s level professor… I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Edward Sri’s book “The New Rosary in Scripture” as a guide to help you pray the Rosary from a Scriptural standpoint.  It is a great resource.

TrueMan up!

Eyes on the Cross

Men… this Easter, I urge you to look towards the ultimate example of manliness – Jesus Christ.  He exemplifies all of the traits that we innately desire… courage, strength, prudence, wisdom.  He is our guide.  He is our model.  He is our way.  His sacrificial gift on the cross doesn’t end, it goes on.

If you ever have trouble praying, or simply want to attempt to prevent distraction and daydreaming in prayer, I suggest that you get a well-made crucifix or a well-done painting/picture of Jesus.  Gaze upon the crucifix and allow the reality of His sacrifice to sink in.  Personally, I used to carry around a very special St. Benedict crucifix that was gifted to me from a friend who attended the Toronto World Youth Day and had it blessed by Pope John Paul II.  (I say “used to” because all the time in my pocket, day-in and day-out, wore the metal of the crucifix down and the corpus of Jesus became distorted, so instead of continuing to damage it, I stopped carrying it.)  On my home office desk, I have a crucifix statue that stands near my laptop.  In every room in our home, we have a crucifix.  At all times, I carry a Rosary in my pocket with the crucifix.  Why?  So that I can, at any time, gaze upon the man I want to be like.  I want to serve like He served.  I want to be strong like He was strong.  I want to love as He loved.

For many of us, we’ve heard “Keep your eye on the ball.”  or, “Keep your eyes on the prize.”  I say, Keep your eyes on the Cross.

TrueMan up!

PS: If I get a request from at least 3 readers, I’ll explain more about the significance of the St. Benedict crucifix that was purchased for me at WYD in Toronto.  Send them via the comment section below or via email!

Prayer Question

I received an email from a blog reader today and I thought I’d share the question and my response here.  Thought it might be helpful for more than just this one guy.  The question was: “My prayer life is really screwed-up.  I was taught that a prayer life is a dialogue with God, through Jesus, about how to grow closer, gain insight and follow Christ.  My prayers are rantings, raving, and venting about stupid and ridiculous things. Where did I go wrong?”

My response was pretty basic and doesn’t cover everything, but here’s what I suggested: “Thanks for the email.  The fact that you are concerned about this shows that you care.  There is a way to dialogue with God, but there’s not only one way.  You have to find your own way to pray.  I recommend finding some solid books on prayer, talking to a priest, listening to CDs/mp3s on the topic, etc.

Start with this, to get back into the swing of properly ordered prayer… A.C.T.S. is an acronym to structure your prayer.  It may help.

• Adoration – Adoring God.
• Contrition – Showing remorse for your sins against God.
• Thanksgiving – Giving thanks for anything and everything.
• Supplication – Asking God for things/requests that you need/want.

You can also spend time, not only in contemplative prayer, but in meditation, journaling, sitting in silence, repetitive prayer, spending time in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, etc.

All the best.  Keep trying!”

TrueMan up!

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