Killing a Good Man Quickly
My wife and I were talking the other night about something that’s very important for men. Man time. She said, so profoundly, “I’ve never known a female who longed for, or who needed time with her girls like guys need time with their buddies.” She also said, “If a man is married, the quickest way to kill him is to take away his time with the guys.”
We talked a bit about this topic and as I thought about it, I realized more so that night than any other, that my wife supports me hanging out with my buddies because she knows it’s best for me, our kids, our marriage, the Church and our world. She supports my time with the guys because she knows that my friends are solid men that challenge me to make myself better. She supports me because our time together makes me, and them, an all-around better man. Some women might not know about this concept, so let’s bring it to light today.
There is a caveat here. If the “buddies” aren’t good men, this idea doesn’t work. If the men are out doing vicious (un-virtuous) things, it’s not going to build anyone up to be a better man. So, this idea only works when the group, as a whole, are striving for excellence in all things. If time with the guys involves drinking too much, finding women or causing trouble, it’s obviously counter to quality man time.
This is also not to say that man time should supersede family time, or spousal time. A proper ordering of time with one’s friends is important anyway, but when a wife and/or children are involved, the time spent outside the home needs to be properly regulated. This regulation should be the man’s responsibility; if you’re out of the house 5 nights a week with other things (whatever they are), it’s not good to be out another night on a regular basis. Keep it monitored and all will be well.
To the women: the idea of men getting together, hanging out, drinking a beer, maybe watching a game, might sound trivial and pedestrian to you. In some cases, you’d be correct. However, when the caliber of men increases in the group, the effect the “man time” has also increases. Encourage your man to find solid friends, men who are leaders and who love their families. Men who are virtuous and who are striving for excellence. This time away will benefit the family in ways you may not know are possible.
To the men: there’s a big responsibility with man time, so don’t blow it for the rest of us. Keep it pure, keep it focused.
Man up!
