TrueManhood Podcast – Episode 12 Crazy Family Life, Parenting in Mass, and Being Prepared in the Home

Dave describes the recent craziness in the DiNuzzo household, with ridiculous schedules, kid’s sports, and work-related juggling-of-tasks. He also spends some time talking about a grandfather disciplining a grandchild in Mass, and how we as men can be ready for whatever comes our way in the home.

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Keep Your Cool, Dad

I recently witnessed a less-than-ideal situation between a father and his children, and thought I’d relay the story here so that everyone could think about it.  They were doing some yardwork.  His kids were helping with the mowing and edging.  At one point, the father became irrate because the equipment stopped working.  He began to scream at the both of them, as if it was their fault that the machine failed.  A few explitives flew, a few derogatory and demeaning things were said, and I’m sure, some confidence (in the kids) was shot.

OK, so why do I bring this story up?  Lots of reasons!  First of all… anytime I hear yelling and cursing near me, I begin to investigate.  Secondly, anytime I know that a child is being yelled at, I turn my attention to the situation.  The lie to “keep your nose out of other people’s business” isn’t something I subscribe to, and neither should you.  The care of women, children, and other men is always a TrueMan’s business.  Passivity must not be tolerated.   Also, I want to work to highlight not only bad behavior in men, but more importantly, the ways in which the rest of us can learn from the mistakes and shortcomings of other men around us.  Let’s not make the same mistakes as others.  It’s about a dad who’s unable to control his temper and who is misguided in how he deals with stress.

I was keeping an eye on the situation in the event that it got out of hand and needed my intervention.  It never came to that, thankfully.  Whether the dad made the switch on his own, or if he saw me and changed his tune because he knew I was nearby, or whether it was something else entirely, I was just glad to see that it stopped.  To my knowledge, he never hit or struck his kids – I most certainly would have stepped in.

Let’s consider how a TrueMan handles this situation as a father.  If you’re going to have your children helping you, with whatever you’re doing, make it about teaching them and forming them to perform their chores/work properly.  If they happen to break something while learning, realize that stuff breaks and – if you’ve done it correctly – they’ll have truly learned something!  Isn’t that the point?!  Explanations of how things work, processes to follow, safety standards… all good things.  Yelling at them and demeaning them is the wrong approach.  Teaching, forming, encouraging… those are the attributes of a man who can be proud of his parenting.

A TrueMan keeps his cool, in every situation.  This requires so many virtues, they are too numerous to mention here.  Namely, the virtues of temperance, prudence, and fortitude come to mind.  If you aren’t familiar with these words, or want more information on virtue, please check out our “TrueManhood’s Quick Guide to Virtue” under the Resources tab.  Dads, your kids want to be with you.  They want your time, your attention, your affection, your love.  They want you.  They want to be wanted by you.  Give them that.  Give them you!

On a personal note, I work to constantly be aware of my yelling and overall tone when dealing with my kiddos.  I’ve come a long way and still can be better.  I don’t always do the right thing, and I don’t always make the right choices, but my head is screwed on straight and I work to be cognizant of how what I say affects my kids.  And not just what I say, but how I say it.  When we say and do things to our children, it definintely affects them and stays with them.  It changes them.  Work to be aware of your words and actions, because your kids are watching and learning; they’ll become who you teach them to become.

TrueMan up!

St. Joseph – The Days After Christmas

If you’ve spent any time on the website, you surely know that I am a huge fan of St. Joseph.  He is, besides Christ Himself, the best model of authentic masculinity for a man to emulate.  Wanna be a TrueMan?… be like St. Joseph.  After all, he raised Jesus!  Quite obviously, St. Joseph knew what he was doing.  Have you ever thought about his role in the days following Christ’s birth?

Picture this… Mary gives birth to Jesus.  Joseph then sees shepherds, visitors and Magi from the east come to adorn his foster son.  Then, angels appear and sing praises about this baby boy.  What would be going through your mind, if in the hospital labor and delivery room, people come and sing songs praising your child?  We can’t really fathom what was taking place before Joseph’s eyes, nor what was going on in his head.  Then, imagine that an angel comes to him, again, and tells him that someone (King Herod) wants to kill his newborn son.  If you’re anything like me, your first inclination in this situation would have been to grab the firearms and ammo and go on the offensive.  Not Joseph.  He heeded the warning from the angel, then he WALKED HIS FAMILY TO EGYPT!  That would have been approx 300 miles, or more!  They walked!  A woman who had just given birth, a new born and this holy, faithful, virtuous man called Joseph.  He did this to protect his family and the salvation of all of us.

Now imagine being in Egypt.  Joseph has no idea how long they’d be there.  He left his carpenter shop, tools, projects, friends and home behind, back in Judea.  What did he do for work in Egypt?  How did they worship?  Where did they live?  How did he continually protect his family in this foreign land?  What and where did they eat?  Did you ever think of these things?  Have you ever thought about how St. Joseph did all this?  Have you ever thought how you would react in a situation like this?  What you would do if your family was in danger?  In need of shelter, food, protection?

St. Joseph did all of this, and quite handily.  There are good reasons why St. Joseph is the patron saint of so many manly things, like workers, carpenters, fathers and holy death.  His virtue was incredible.  Learn about him, follow him to his son.

TrueMan up!