He Lost It
Maybe you saw this video from about 10 days ago. It’s video of a minor league hockey coach who goes ballistic on the referee about a bad call against one of his players. The coach is Jim Playfair, which is sort of ironic, considering. Be sure to watch the folks in the stands, as well as the players to the coach’s left laughing at him. Take a look.
If you can’t view the video, click HERE.
What’s amazing is that in our culture, this sort of behavior is glorified. Although collectively, we think things such as “what a crazy man” or “that guy’s goin’ nuts”, we watch it and continually let it happen. This particular video has been viewed over 555,000 times, and is merely one version of the incident. The fact that this coach lost his cool like this shows that he’s not virtuous in the area of prudence, temperance or justice. (A TrueMan is virtuous.) I wonder what would happen at my office if someone acted this way.
I watched a few videos discussing this outburst, and one that caught my attention was a radio personality that said, something to the effect of, “this is a coach expressing emotion. He’s defending his player, showing some emotion. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” In fact, the radio guy went on to call it “great”, that this coach did what he did. Well, Mr. Smart-Radio-Personality-Guy, a TrueMan controls his emotions and doesn’t lash out like Mr. Playfair. This was not great.
TrueMan Up!
TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue
Click for TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue
LEARN VIRTUE, LIVE VIRTUE!
Man up!
Smokin’ in a Blizzard
October 30, 2009 by admin
Filed under Blog, Fatherhood, Virtue
It’s been pretty cold here the last few days. The cold and snow typically get people to bundle up and only go out when they have to. Yesterday, however, I drove past a car with the driver’s side window down. At first, I thought it was because the driver was smoking, which turned out to be the case, but as I took a closer look, I noticed that a young boy was sitting in his car seat in the backseat of the car. Now, this blog isn’t about telling people not to smoke – smoking is gross and everyone already knows that. If someone chooses to smoke, they’ve already given up. What this blog IS about is challenging males to be better, to be TrueMen.
In the case of this father (the assumption here is that the man driving the car is the child’s father), not only was he smoking around his child, which is statistically proven to [enormously] increase the chances of his son smoking, starting at a young age, but more importantly he was playing freeze-out with his two year old in order to smoke! Yesterday’s high was around 28 degrees Fahrenheit! Does it sound to you like the father has his child’s best interest at heart? Or, as it appears to me, does the father have his nicotine addiction as his number one priority?
It’s pretty simple to see what the virtuous thing to do here is. Yes, quitting smoking would be a virtuous thing. However, the virtue of prudence is what this man should be striving for. Prudence would tell him that he 1. shouldn’t be smoking around his child and 2. that he should wait until he’s not in the car to smoke, thus not having to roll his window down when it’s freezing outside and his child is in the backseat of the car. C’mon, brother, put your kid’s needs and best interest before your cancer-sticks.
Man up!
What Does it Mean to Be Manly?
I came across a few videos today on YouTube that were a bit frustrating to watch. I’m not posting them here because 1. they are frustrating 2. they are inappropriate for my site and 3. I don’t want to promote the males that made these videos. What I found in these videos was a misconstrued image of manliness, but not in the normal sense (aka – “cultural manliness”, as I refer to it –> money, power, women, stuff…) but in a sense of bashing overly manly activities, ideas, thoughts and practices. Taking it to the other extreme; calling men to be more feminine. Yuck.
Let me make it clear to the readers of this blog what I mean when I say words like MANLY, MANLINESS, TRUEMAN, TRUEMANHOOD, etc. In essence, I mean virtue. In none of the three videos that sparked this post did they ever mention anything about virtue. It might get old hearing about virtue, and yes, I write about it frequently, but virtue = manliness. TrueManliness. Plain and simple.
Others can blog/vlog about whatever they want, but when it comes to talking about manliness, they aren’t my compass. My compass points are Christ and St. Joseph, combined with other saints and men who are alive (both literally and figuratively) in the faith. These men live(d) out “the greatest of these” – Love. Prudence, Temperance, Justice, Fortitude, Faith, Hope and Love. Live them.
If you would like a copy of some virtue materials, contact TrueManhood.com at proveritasspeakers@gmail.com.
Man up!
7 Days of Virtue; Day 2 – Justice
Think of virtues like your muscles. You work your muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed. Virtue is the same way. You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.
Day 2 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 2 – JUSTICE.
Justice is the good due to others. This removes the emphasis from self and places the emphasis on others. Overemphasis on rights misses the concept of justice. There are seven sub-virtues of Justice:
- Honor – recognizing the worth (value) of something. In ancient times, if something was weighty, it was valued (ie: gold). In ancient Greece, dishonor was symbolized by mist or steam.
- Religion – a head virtue. Habitually honoring and praising God in all we do.
- Piety – Honor and Service. Honor through obedience and respect.
- Observance – honoring our leaders/those in positions of authority over us. Observing the office they hold.
- Gratitude – honoring our benefactors. St. Thomas Aquinas suggested that we 1. Recognize the favor 2. Express thanks 3. Repay the favor.
- Kindness – intending comfort/pleasure for those around you. Anticipating others’ needs, habitually.
- Truth – our words and deeds correspond to reality. We owe reality to one another.
Practically, I am a justice-seeker, meaning that if I see someone who is not receiving “the good due to them”, I tend to step in and make it right. I’ve done this since I was a kid – if I saw someone bullying someone, I stepped in and forced the bully to respond to me. (Most often, the bullying stopped.) Knowing this, regularly for me, seeking justice can easily overlap with anger, which is dangerous. We want to afford people with the ability to receive the good that is due to them, yet we must be careful of how we go about that. Use the virtue of prudence to know when to purposefully seek justice and when to not step in.
Man up!
7 Days of Virtue; Day 1 – Prudence
Think of virtues like your muscles. You work you muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed. Virtue is the same way. You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.
Day 1 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 1 – PRUDENCE.
Prudence is wisdom for practical everyday life. This means that you take practical knowledge and right reason and you use them to make decisions throughout your day.
“Knowing how to do the right thing, at the right time in the right way.”
Prudence directs all of the other virtues; therefore, we must always have the end in mind so that prudence can guide us to our goal. There are three sub-virtues to Prudence; 1. Counsel 2. Judgement 3. Decisiveness. Counsel is gathering information to make a good decision. (You seek help in making your decisions.) Judgement is sort of like being a court judge; you gather information using counsel and then you weigh that information. Decisiveness is the action that you take after counsel and judgement.
Prudence comes down to choices and actions. Our choices are incredibly important, thus we must know what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Being prudent means that you react out of knowledge and information, not out of emotion, impulse or passion. Being prudent means that you have given the choice a good deal of thought. Being prudent means that you aren’t afraid to commit to a decision.
If you want to grow in the virtue of prudence, practice being prudent. (Practice seeking counsel, making good judgements and being decisive. You must also pray that God presents you with opportunities to receive grace so that you may become prudent.)
Man up!
A TrueMan is Virtuous – the start to a 7 day look at Virtue
***My apologies for the delay in posting over the past few days, I was on retreat all weekend and away from technology.***
Virtue (in Latin: virtus) means manliness. In order to truly be manly, we must possess virtue. Virtue means having the “firm and habitual disposition to do the good”. If a man possesses the virtue of Courage, that means that he’s courageous 1. with joy 2. with ease 3. promptly and 4. consistently. Every time, without fail. In order for a man to gain virtue, he must practice. He must also ask for God’s grace to help him acquire virtue. (Note: women can attain virtue as well, and it doesn’t mean that they become manly.)
I’m kicking off a 7 day look at virtue, starting tomorrow. I’ll dive into each of the 4 Cardinal Virtues and each of the 3 Theological Virtues, one each day. Prudence, Justice, Fortitude & Temperance and Faith, Hope & Love. If you want to be a TrueMan, become a virtuous man.
Man up!
