A Dating Tip, or Two
The other day, I posted the “Superman Dates” video clip. I got a little bit of feedback on it, and felt like it was important to talk about some other aspects of dating, for both ladies and guys.
Ladies: what I am about to say is always true, in every situation, no matter what. YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. You do. You deserve a man who respects you, who serves you, who cherishes you, who believes and demonstrates that there is no one more important or special for him and you deserve a man who puts his full energy and attention into your relationship. If he doesn’t, then he’s not good enough for you. Plain and simple. If he doesn’t care enough to do the little things in a dating relationship, why would anyone ever expect him to start caring when you are married? Or when times get tough? Or when you have kids? The little things he does/doesn’t do while dating are foreshadowing his future behavior.
It’s also vitally important that you set you standards high, from the beginning. If you wait until you’re in a relationship to create a list of “must haves” it will be incredibly difficult to see beyond the emotion, history and investment of your current relationship. Once you create your list, don’t stray from it. (Add to it, but don’t stray from it.) If you grow, mature and change as a person, your list can change with you, as long as it’s what best for you and your future.
If all the women in the world increased their standards (and wouldn’t compromise on them) it would force men to change their behavior. Now, I’m not saying that it’s the fault of females that men can be bad in relationships or in society or that they don’t know what it means to be a TrueMan. What I’m saying is that if women were to have a standard and keep it, that men would have to check their crass, immature, childish, destructive behavior at the door and make positive choices to raise themselves up to be worthy of dating a woman. Ladies, you hold the power to make your future bright by choosing a man that deserves you because you know that you deserve the very best.
Guys: I’ll most likely get into our part of the dating world in upcoming posts, but for now, read through the ladies’ section and check yourself. If a woman had a list, would your actions, choices and behavior warrant you being selected as “sufficient”? If not, think about things you can do to change so that when “the one” comes along, you’re ready to treat her like your queen.
Man up!
Lenten Devotion – A Prayerful Man
Often times, society tells us that prayer is for women, young children and hermit-type religious folks. Not true. In order for all of us to know God, we must converse with Him. It simply wouldn’t work to not speak to my wife for weeks-on-end and expect things to be okay between us. The same goes for us and God. We MUST stay in constant conversation with God. It’s like any other relationship, it takes bothparties to be in relation with one another. God has proved to remain faithful (He has made many covenants with us, His people), we are the ones that must change our behavior and devote time to Him in prayer.
Men, be careful to not fall into the modern idea that prayer/spirituality is a feminine characteristic. Females have a beautiful spirituality, but that doesn’t usually work for us. (There’s a reason why most of the Mystics of the Church are women.) For me, my prayer life reflects my demeanor, my personality and my outlook; it’s rugged, straightforward and unwaveringly positive. Most of my prayer reflects my need for Christ as a fallen, sinful man working at changing for the better. It also reflects knowledge that our faith is the Truth and the fullness of it. It’s important that your prayer life and spirituality reflect who you are, because like in any relationship, both parties need to honest, open and real. It won’t work if you try to have someone else’s spirituality. The great news here is that there’s at least one Saint who you can emulate, one Saint that was like you. Find that Saint and follow them to Christ.
Man up!
The Most Important Relationship of Their Lives
February 24, 2009 by admin
Filed under Fatherhood
I have the privilege of staying home with my daughters on Tuesdays. Technically, it’s my day off every week. I cherish Tuesdays with them and know that I am blessed to be able to have such dedicated and devoted time taking care of them. I cherish this time because I know, without a doubt, that there will never be a more important relationship in either of my daughter’s lives than their relationship with me. I don’t say this out of pride or out of attention-seeking. I say this because it is the truth.
Think about it… where does a young girl learn about love? Where does a young girl learn how to be treated? Where does a young girl develop her idea of what her future will hold? Where does a young girl learn self-respect and self-esteem? From her father. [This is NOT to underscore the relationships a young girl has with anyone else, especially her mother. It is to show that a father has a vital role in the future of his daughters. In my estimation, the most vital role.] Her father must demonstrate love; love of his spouse, love of his children, love of his God. What happens if a father doesn’t fulfill this role or if he fails to fulfill it in the correct way? Simple, the child’s understanding of how a man should act and treat others is skewed. This skewed understanding can lead to multiple problems, namely disordered relationships.
Fathers, love your wives. Set the example for your daughters of how they should expect a man to treat them. Teach them to set the bar high and to never settle for less than the best. If they see you being disrespectful, unloving and/or hurtful towards their mother, they are going to grow up thinking that similar behavior is normal and okay. It’s not. They will learn not only what love is, but more importantly, how to love and how to receive love from your example. It is a big responsibility, but that’s what you signed up for when you had sex with your wife.
Man up!
