Evangelizing a Man

The work of evangelization is a requirement for attaining TrueManhood.  Each man must come to fulfill the Great Commission, when Christ demanded that His disciples “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them all that I have commanded you.  And lo, I am with you always, even until the end of time.” (Matt 28:19-20.) This wasn’t the “Great Suggestion” – it is an obligation, an order, a must.

For men who are fathers, our children automatically become our disciples.  This is a huge task, and a mighty responsibility.  I’m not necessarily speaking about this directly in this post, although it may pertain to grown male children, to some extent.

In order to evangelize, we must ourselves be evangelized.  What does the word “evangelization” even mean?  What is it?  There are numerous ways we can think about evangelization – in terms of the definition, the time, place, and style, the programs, the books, the techniques, the strategies, and so forth.  That can become pretty complicated, and for our purposes somewhat unnecessary, so I suggest we break it down to a baseline understanding.  Evangelization = Jesus Christ.

When you hear or see the word, or encounter the concept of evangelization, your mind should automatically go to Jesus Christ.  You should consider who He was, what He did, why He did it, and how it impacts all we do.  It’s not rocket science, it’s really not.  Evangelization is coming to know the person of Jesus Christ.  When we know the person of Jesus Christ (once we’ve been evangelized – encountered Jesus) we are changed.  We are held to a higher standard.  What a great concept for men… to be challenged and held accountable to the highest standard!  How masculine!

How, then, do we go about evangelizing men?  Well, unfortunately, many of us simply don’t.  We fail to take the opportunities to talk to men in our lives, or men we encounter along the way.  We are timid, frightened, and lack gusto.  How a man might respond to us is enough to make us change how we speak, think, act, work, dress, and function.  It’s a powerful relationship.  Why, then, do we shy away from this if that relationship is so powerful?  Wouldn’t we want to make disciples from these powerful relationships?  I believe many don’t evangelize men because of fear.  Fear holds us back and prevents us from sharing who we really are.  Fear prevents us from sharing who Jesus is.  This is incredibly dangerous, because we’re failing to evangelize, not remaining true to the Great Commission, not proclaiming the Gospel, and failing to give a man all that he deserves (see ‘virtue of justice’ in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.)

I’m a firm believer that the best method for evangelization is through relationships.  Relational-Evangelization.  Creating relationships with folks is how we are able to learn about them, see who they are and what is beyond their outer façade, and how we are able to begin to gain moral authority (the right to be heard because we are trusted and respected by the other person.)  Once we gain moral authority with a person, we are able to speak into their lives, with meaning and purpose.  When it comes to the men in our lives, having moral authority with them is essential.  For many men, they need proof before they’ll listen to you.  The proof they want to see is that they can trust you.  Hurt caused by lack of trust (or loss of trust, once gained) is a major wound in the lives of many men.

For others, they want to see what you’re made of.  They want to see how hard you work, how tough you are, or whether or not you back up what you say.  Backing up what you say has to be done with actions, bringing in another important aspect to evangelizing men.  If you and I live as though what Jesus said was true, there will be something about us that is different (radically different) from the world.  Men whom we have relationships with will see this.

Living as a TrueMan in our world today is so important.  If we can achieve this – striving to live virtue, to be as Christ is – we will have great success in our evangelization, and through that, work to spread the Good News.  If we gain the men, we will gain the women and children as well.  Where men go, so goes the world.  May it all be for His glory!

CHALLENGE: consider a man in your life that doesn’t know Jesus Christ and begin to pray for him.  Pray too for the opportunities to evangelize this man through your actions and words.  Be open to the chances that are presented and be bold.  There are countless ways to evangelize, but doing nothing is not one of them.

TrueMan up!

State Champs; Young Gentlemen on Their Way to TrueManhood

Congratulations to the young men on the basketball team from our ‘small school in the middle of nowhere’ as they were crowned State Champions in Kansas Boys State 1A Basketball!  I write this post partially to talk about sports, but more so to discuss the young men that make up this team and our high school.  We haven’t lived in our small rural farming town for long (only 6 months at this point) but I’ve been impressed with these young men countless times already, and am so happy to highlight them in a post.

The basketball team was led by my college friend (Benedictine College) basketball Head Coach (and Husband, Father, and County Sheriff’s Deputy) Lance Bergmann.  These young men have been really impressive on the field and court this season.  In football (8-man) and in basketball, they have played with an intensity that is rare.  While watching my first-ever 8-man football game back in September, I was literally blown-away by their tenacity, drive, and determination.  They played with a speed and ferocity that I have rarely seen with high schoolers.  On the basketball court, they play the same way, but with the finesse that basketball requires, while also being scrappy and resolute.  They finished as State Runner-up in football, falling just short of the title of “Champs.”  [I’m writing vaguely about who these young men are because there are only about 20 high school boys in the entire school and, from what I’ve seen, they come as a packaged deal.  A good slogan for these young men could be “all for one and one for all.”  For the few who don’t play sports (absolutely fine in my book, btw), they are involved in other endeavors and contribute to the athletes in the form of virtuous friendship and support.  This is a complete-package sort of win for everyone at St. John’s in Beloit.]

Not only have they experienced success in sports, four of these same scholar-athletes were recently crowned State Champions in Scholar’s Bowl, a number of them were on the State Championship Math Relays Team, and they all succeed widely in their classroom endeavors.  They are pro-life activists, TV/radio stars, and servants to the community.  But it still goes deeper for me.

I concentrate not on the mere accomplishments of a man, nor his degrees, his occupation, the size of his home, nor the make/model/year of his vehicle, but rather on the life the man leads.  I focus on  who he is.  These young men are well on their way to living TrueManhood, and for that, they should be proud.  I see these young men in Mass on a weekly (and many, on a daily) basis.  They serve, read, sing, and usher.  They are present in prayer.  Their Catholic faith is core to who they are.  They are sponges soaking up knowledge, learning from some great educators that devote their lives to our kids.  And quite possibly one of the most impressive attributes that I’ve seen in these young men… the leadership that is offered to them by their fathers.  It is truly beautiful to see sons encouraged, properly formed, trained, and supported by fathers who are second-to-none in work ethic, morality, and ultimately in their roles as husbands.  For most, the attributes of TrueManhood have been passed down for generations; performed as God originally intended.

To these young gentlemen – I’m extremely impressed.  I see you hold open doors, take care of the “little kids” (including my own children), honor your parents, respect the young ladies in our school, work extremely hard, and do all of this, and more, with smiles on your faces.  You have an incredible opportuity to positively impact our world for good.  Strive for holiness by living out virtue.  You are well on your way to becoming the TrueMen that God has created you to be.  Do not buy the lie that the world is selling… it is counterfeit, empty, and will lead to eternal death.  Choose the path that Christ set out for us, and journey with me and others, as we strive for TrueManhood.

To learn more about our awesome school and the faithfulness which we strive to uphold, check out this recent episode of EWTN’s “Life on the Rock”.

TrueMan up!

3 Most Damaging Words? – Nope

Have you seen the PSA style video “The Mask You Live In”?  It talks about boys in our culture, and stereotypes of how boys handle the stresses of growing up male, in addition to the struggles of living up to the standards the culture and peers place on them.  There are truths in the video, but I disagree with their take on “the 3 most destructive words you could say to a boy.”  Here’s the video:

The suggestion is made that telling a boy to “Be a Man” is detrimental to him.  If we’re speaking from the context of cultural manliness, then sure, I could see that.  If, however, we’re speaking from the context of authentic masculinity (ie: TrueManhood), then this is absolutely what we should be telling our boys!  We should be encouraging them, teaching them, forming them, and exemplifying for them what it means to be a man so they are able to set a goal and become what they were created to be.  A TrueMan!

We must, unequivocally, call, lead, and guide our boys into true manhood.  We must expect it, and set our boys up to meet the expectation.  If we do not, they will land somewhere on either extreme.  On the one hand, we have a “hyper-masculinity” (other negative words have been associated with this, such as “macho man or machismo”, “bravado”, “meathead”, “jock”, etc.) and on the other, we have an effeminate version of masculinity (which doesn’t even make sense), which is incredibly disordered.  In fact, both versions are a false, counterfeit version, and are incredibly disordered.

Some of the buzz words used, and my thoughts:

• “Don’t cry.”  Men, you can cry.  God wouldn’t have given us emotion and tear ducts if He didn’t want us doing it.  And oh yeah, Jesus wept.
• “Pick yourself up.”  Yes, we’re going to fall.  Pick yourself up and get back on track.
• “Respect.”  Respect is earned.  Give it, and you will likely gain it in return.
• “Proving masculinity.”  Yes, this has to happen.  This is how we grow in virtue, by proving our masculinity.  This is very different from the view the video takes, which is speaking about becoming violent or using violence to be the proof.
• “Closeness.”  This is very hard for males in our society!  It is vital, essential, critical that fathers have a closeness with their sons!  Hugs, kisses, embracing, physical closeness, as well as emotional closeness and a spiritual closeness are all so important between fathers and sons.  (Thanks Dad, for always being close when I was a kid, and now.)
• “Vulnerability.”  Our culture tells men that being vulnerable is feminine.  Vulnerability actually requires strength.
• “Hyper-masculine.”  When masculinity is distorted, it will appear to be either side of the extremes, but never what it should be.

What I don’t like about the video is that it generalizes all of the negative aspects of masculinity overall, as if there is or needs to be some redefined version of masculinity out there.  No, there are two versions of masculinity: 1. The truth. 2. The lie.  That’s why TrueManhood.com exists, to perpetuate the truth, and to help get rid of the lie.  The truth is that a man (a human being with an XY chromosomal makeup) has the God-given ability, and the responsibility, to live up to what he was created for – to live virtuously.  The lie is cultural manliness; the more power, money, sex, and stuff a male has, the more manly he is.  Let’s work together, not at the loss of the truth, but together so that the truth can be proclaimed!

TrueMan up!

Surprise, Surprise – Taliban Uses Porn

Many of you probably heard this week that some of the belongings that were confiscated in the raid on Bin Laden’s compound included a large quantity of pornography.  Surprise, surprise.

I find it incredibly ironic that the leader of the world’s most formidable terrorist organization, the man that the entire world (not including Pakistan – they knew he was there all along!) was looking for because of the dastardly and unconscionable deeds he had done or orchestrated, had the devil’s modern-day #1 source of evil in his midst.  DOES IT MAKE SENSE NOW?!  Porn doesn’t care who you are, what you do, what you believe in or don’t believe in, where you live, how many wives you have, how many children you have, how many people look up to you, how much destruction you can perform or any such thing!!!  PORN DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE!  It is no wonder that he had this garbage around him.

I find it ironic, too, that Islamic men require women to be covered up, yet there was porn.  And not just a little bit of porn, the news reports I saw said that he had an “extensive collection of pornographic materials.”  What a contradiction in terms.  Yet again, another display of what happens when the dignity of women is not upheld!  WHEN IS THE WORLD GOING TO UNDERSTAND?!?!

It really doesn’t surprise me that Bin Laden and his goons had porn.  Figures.

TrueMan up!

“Womanpriests”, “Pope Joan”… and a side of PC

Lately, I’ve come across several stories, websites, conversations, etc. about ‘womanpriests’.  [Some of the websites claim to be in communion with the Roman Catholic Church.  They aren’t.  No matter their claims, they aren’t.]  One story is about a movie that’s out, exclusively in Europe right now, about the legend of a female Pope that lived during the 9th century.  This claim is unsubstantiated and completely fabricated.  One story, which I saw posted on Facebook, spoke of a ‘womanpriest’ from the St. Louis area who is pregnant.  “The first female Roman Catholic priest to be pregnant in history.”  What is the obsession with women being priests?!?!

I think the obsession is the false understanding of freedom in our culture, mixed with a heavy dose of moral relativism, topped with a false sense of equality… served with a side of PC.  In our culture, fairness has been turned into a “if they get one, I deserve one too” system.  Society completely distorts the understanding of gender, gender roles, equality, fairness and the intention of God in regards to gender and sexuality.  The world has turned everything into a competition and some people believe that in order to be considered ‘equal’, they must have the same opportunities as everyone else.  Think about that – it doesn’t make sense.

Why is it, that as soon as a man is allowed (created) to do something, some women automatically insist that they should be allowed to do the same?  The insistance includes many such things that are outside the scope of a woman’s role.  See, when a man is ordained a priest in the Catholic Church, he becomes the spouse of Mother Church.  Plain and simple.  No apologies here… politically correct or not.

Being politically correct is not Catholic.  It’s not charitable, it’s not what Jesus did, it’s not what we should do.  Being politically correct asks us to waterdown our faith, to become “tolerant” of everything that’s going on around us – whether morally acceptable or not.  No thanks.

As always, I’m not diggin’ on women.  I’m not trying to deify men.  What I’m saying is that we were each created for something great, as a man or as a woman.  Those things can be (and most likely are) different.

Stand up for the dignity of each person.  Respect life.  Respect what God created you for.  Stand up for Truth.  Stand up against the notion of tolerance.  Ruffle feathers, if that’s what it takes.  Christ wasn’t a fairweather prophet… He didn’t take the position of “acceptance”… See, what Christ did (which is what we are supposed to model our lives after) is that He loved sinners too much to allow them to stay where they were.

TrueMan up!

GUEST POST – “The Practice of Modesty” by Ashley Crouch

Ashley Crouch is the Assistant Program Director of Love & Fidelity Network, a program designed to equip college students with the resources and training they need to support the institution of marriage, the importance of family, and the integrity of sex on their campuses.  She writes:

US Marine Captain John Campbell recently made National Australian News by boldly speaking out about Australian women’s lack of modesty: “It’s about having standards, ladies,” he said.  “What are standards?  Well, it can begin by dressing in a manner that leaves something to the imagination to say the least…”  Later he said, “Come on, ladies, don’t send us mixed messages.  That’s what you do every time you dress with less than nothing on.”  His voice was an isolated and courageous reminder that women play a significant role in preserving men’s purity; that women bolster men’s’ ability to love authentically.

In today’s culture, our bodies are often treated as instruments rather than as an intimate part of who we are – persons with animmortal soul.  As a result of this disconnect, there is a crisis of modesty prevalent in society.  Popular trends and fashions come and go with arbitrary ease, without any thought being given to a specific standard.   The virtue of modesty has all but become obsolete, while the few who make an effort to endorse its practice often end up sounding prudish and harping on rules, regulations, and guidelines.

Guidelines are in fact good and helpful, and can be found by doing a simple search online.  Modesty, however, is not just about covering up so guys will not be driven to lust.  Modesty is more and often depends on the context. For this reason, it is often misunderstood.

Properly understood, modesty incorporates who the woman is as a person created in the image of God called to love, while acknowledging that men and women are designed to be attracted to one another. The late Pope John Paul II spoke candidly about the human person “as a creature towards whom the only proper attitude is love.”  Authentic love, however, is not defined by a person’s sexuality; Attraction between sexes is meant to exist between two free, full, faithful human persons and to blossom into fruitful love in marriage. Many women yearn to be loved and seek it through immodest dress or action.  Tragically, the immodest dress and behavior of some women, while intended to foster and secure lasting affection, ironically attracts men for other reasons.  A woman who dresses provocatively distracts men from love.  She sends mixed messages.

Modesty, on the other hand, serves to open the gateway of love between persons by revealing who a woman is as a full person, an individual with dignity, not reducible to her sexual features. When a woman practices modesty, she simultaneously protects, preserves, and presents herself to the world as a person of dignity and self-respect; for through modesty, the beauty of her femininity is highlighted rather than objectified.  Modesty flows from “moderation,” where all the elements of the woman are shown cohesively and beautifully.

Ultimately, modesty is about more than clothes.  It is a disposition of the heart, and a consciousness on the part of the woman that she has an origin in a loving God, who has given her a great dignity and purpose. Each woman was designed to give herself fully as a gift, but if her vocation is marriage, this gift belongs only to one person (not the world.)  The woman’s awareness of her beautiful origin carries over into her actions and dress, naturally and effortlessly.  Her clothes are not a denial of her sexuality, or a suppression of her femininity.  Rather, they integrate her sexuality into her whole being as a person called to love, and open the way for true love to grow.   The practice of modesty encourages men to see a woman with respect, and allows authentic interpersonal relationships to occur, free of distractions, free from confusion, free to love.

So the next time you reach into your closet for an outfit, perhaps remember Captain John Campbell’s words ‘Don’t send mixed messages,’ and consider what message you want to send.

The TrueManhood Code

The singing cowboy, Gene Autry, had certain rules about what it takes to be a cowboy.  I think what he had to say works not only for cowboys, but for all men.

If you’ll notice, Mr. Autry clearly stated that a cowboy ‘MUST’ do these things… they aren’t options.  A TrueMan, too, doesn’t have the option to tell the truth or not, or to be a good worker only some of the time.  A TrueMan can’t only respect women on occasion or have clean personal habits from time-to-time.  In order to be a TrueMan, we work to possess the character of a real, authentic man, living out the role that God created us for, and we do it at all times.  The life of a TrueMan isn’t simply a switch we turn on when we’re in public, or when we’re in a job interview, or when we’re trying to impress someone.  It is a lifestyle, a complete and totally devoted lifestyle in which we surrender all unto the Lord, for He is our master and our purpose.  The TrueManhood Code is a life of virtue.

May you always live virtue, and in all things, glorify God.

Man up!

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