Spiritual Help for our Heroes – Frontline Faith Project

Recently, I came across an awesome apostolate called Frontline Faith.  Visit them HERE.  In short, what they do is supply our service men and women, serving in deployed locations, with Catholic content on mp3 players.

“The FRONTLINE FAITH™ Project delivers MP3 players preloaded with spiritual content, especially as it pertains to military service, to members of our armed forces currently deployed or returning from deployment, with special emphasis on injured troops and troops stationed in Iraq or Afghanistan.”

What will you do for the soul of one soldier?  Please support Frontline Faith and their work by donating $24 (or more).  To donate, click HERE.  It takes people with vision to serve those in need.  Our deployed soldiers, as well as those who have been or are going to be deployed, need our prayers, support and acts of kindness.  They sacrifice their well-being, their comfort, their families, their children, their spouse and sometimes their lives so that we can be free.  To our service men and women of all of the branches of the military, thank you!

Home of the free, because of the brave.

Cheri, Sheila and the rest of the team at Frontline Faith… keep up the great work!

TrueMan up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Selfishness Impedes Service

My daughter has been sick for several days.  Because she is a toddler, it is difficult to really pinpoint what’s happening with her, what hurts and how to make her better.  I’ve been at a loss for exactly what to do, and although we’re trying, she doesn’t seem to be getting better.  At least not as fast I my wife and I would hope.  As I’ve been observing her and contemplating solutions to this problem, I realized something today… selfishness impedes service.  What do I mean?

When you’re in charge of someone else, and their entire well-being stems from your actions, it’s plain to see that they not only rely on you to make good decisions, but to be at their service.  This isn’t to say that I wait hand-and-foot on my children, but it means that my daughters, especially when ill, need me to be selfless in regards to them.  And, I want to be a servant-leader for my family and for the world, which requires me to continually learn how to better serve them.  I look at my life and realize (quite often) how selfish I can be.  I like what I like, the way I like it, when I like it, how I like it.  This gets in the way of my ability to truly serve my family.

Where did my selfish tendencies come from?  Besides my fallen human nature, my tendency toward selfishness stems from my past pornography use.  It made everything I do, even serving my sickly little girl, about me.  Because of this revelation, I realized that the only way to do that is to look to the cross.  I must unite my failures in life to the struggle Christ experienced on the cross so that I am purified of my tendency toward comfort, self-pleasure and ease.  My little girl needs me to be one hundred percent committed to taking care of her and if I don’t watch it, I’ll put myself before her, falling into old patterns and losing sight of the cross.  If this happens, my selfishness has won and drastically impedes my ability to serve.

I urge everyone to take a step back, especially during Holy Week, to evaluate the areas in your life (vicious behavior) that require change.  Figure out how to change those things and continue to work on them until you possess the virtue that overcomes that vice.

Man up!

How Does a Man Live Love?

Recently, I was having a conversation with some friends about various topics.  As we got into the conversation, somehow we got onto the topic of love.  I said something to the effect of “… a husband needs to love his wife.  He needs to live love.”  One of my friends asked me, “How does a man live love?”  He said, “We hear that all the time, but how does a guy actually do that?  What does he have to do to live love?”  It’s a valid question.  Actually, it’s more than valid, it’s essential.

We’ve talked previously about love being the greatest of all the virtues.  We’ve talked about love being a verb.  Let’s put these together.  If we possess the virtue of love (also referred to as charity), that means that we perform love 1. with ease 2. with joy 3. at every opportunity and 4. promptly.  Once we possess the virtue of love, it’s second nature for us to perform.  Notice that there is an action taking place – love is performed.  Okay, so we’ve said that love is a virtue and that it requires an action.  What is that action?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains it very clearly in paragraph 1822: “Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.”  Love isn’t something intangible that happens to come along every once and awhile, love is for God and others.

As a husband, I can live out love by first loving God and then by loving my wife (for love of God).  That means that I strive to do as God has done.  This isn’t a sentence full of meaningless words.  This means that all I do, everything I think and say, is geared towards and focused on God.  The greatest example of how a man can live love is by looking to Christ on the cross.  Self-sacrifice, service, humility, obedience.  Do these things for your wife and you’ll be loving her.

Practical application: how can I sacrifice for my wife as a sign of love?  The greatest gift, of laying your life down for a friend, isn’t necessarily what I’m hoping will happen here, but that’s the ultimate.  Sacrifice can be as simple as letting her choose the restaurant you eat at, or what TV show to watch or which song to listen to on the radio.  Putting your preferences last.

It’s possible, that for each guy, love means something just a little bit different.  In the end, it comes down to loving God and loving others.

Man up!

Memorial Day – Not Just Another Day

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend… a weekend that typically includes barbecues, picnics, trips, hangouts and lots of other “holiday weekend” events.  Memorial Day, however, is not just another day.  So often we are consumed by our busyness, our schedule, our “to do’s” and we don’t stop and think about others and their sacrifices.  Memorial Day is a day where we should stop and give thanks to those who have and do serve in our military and those who have died for us, our country and our freedom.  We must remember them, for if we forget the fallen, their death is in vain.  POW/MIA/KIA Never Forgotten.

Memorial Day brings to mind many of the sacrifices that I’ve heard about from battle-stories and it reminds me of the many military funerals that I’ve attended as a volunteer member of the Patriot Guard Riders.  Many men and women of our great nation have fought and died for us.  Can you imagine dying?  Can you imagine dying for someone else?  Your death means that someone, or many others,  may have life.  Can you grasp the scope of your sacrifice?  It’s difficult, but important to think about. 

Compare the sacrifice of a soldier to our greatest model and example of a TrueMan, Jesus.  Jesus was a servant of the people.  He gave willingly of Himself and His efforts.  He was a servant-leader, leading by example of how to treat others.  He took time to prepare for the tough times (prayer/fasting), and was always prepared to give an account of His reasonings.  Our military men and women do this on a daily basis.  Thank a soldier today.

I posted this over a year ago on my family blog to my family members and friends… a Thanks.

Most of all, Grandpa Tony. You are my hero Dad. I love you. Thank you for my freedom. You are a wonderful Grandpa to Lily. 30 years in the Air Force is amazing. To me, two tours in Viet Nam is even more amazing. We’re proud of you SMSgt.

Grandpa Gary… thank you for your 20 years in the Air Force. We will always tell Lily about the sacrifices you made for our country. Now, as you ride for the Patriot Guard, I am so proud to call you Dad. I can’t wait until I am able to join up and ride with you to honor our fallen service men and women. Thanks SMSgt.

Major (Select) Uncle Andy… You are a great man. I am proud to call you my brother and my friend. So far, 9 years in Active Duty, 4 years at the Academy. Two tours in Operation Iraqi Freedom and one coming soon. Thank you so much.

Major Aunt Laura… I am honored to be your brother, and for you to be my brother’s wife.  Thanks for your sacrifices. You are setting a great example for your daughters.

Captain Tracy… 20+ yrs of saving lives and property, along with protecting our Marines at Quantico. What an amazing sacrifice you make. Thank you for protecting the American people. You are an inspiration to me.

Uncles Richard, Frank, Bob U., Ray, Randy D. and Roy D.… thank you all for your time of service. My daughters will know about what you did for us.

Shawn O’D… your sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed. Thank you so much.

Jobe M… I didn’t forget about you. Rick W… You either. Our sailors.

To our friends: Lt Kuetemeyer, Lt. Col. Waller, Chief Laura, Sgt. Ric, Officers Griffiths, Lts. Alberico, Hale, Patino, Valle, Hunt and the others that we know… you are all so amazing. If I forgot anyone, I am truly sorry.

Man up!

An Explanation on Ephesians Chapter 5

On semi-regular occasions, I come across stories of men and women who look at Ephesians Chapter 5 in a different way than the Church does.  It often appears that they take the writings out of context and make them something that they are not.  I want to take a few minutes to explain portions of this sometimes mistaken portion of Scripture.  Note: I am not a Biblical scholar – I recommend that you cross-check my words here with other sources for full understanding.

Starting at verse 21 in chapter 5, St. Paul tells Wives and Husbands “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the Church, He Himself the savior of the body.  As the Church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.”  A few hard-hitting verses.  If we stop at this verse, we see the writer (St. Paul) asking women to be subordinate to their man in everything.  It almost appears that a woman should blindly follow her husband simply because he is 1. her husband and 2. the head of his wife.  We might look at this and say that a wife needs to be “below” her husband and always do as he tells her.  The image of a slave and a master comes to mind here.  After all, it’s right there in Scripture – right? 

Not quite.  We need to continue reading to finish out this section.  25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed Himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the Church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church, because we are members of His body.”  We see a much different story when we continue reading.  St. Paul isn’t writing this to women alone.  Most importantly, he is writing this to husbands; husbands are the readers who especially need to heed these words. 

Look at this with me: scripture tells us that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church.  Christ didn’t love the Church out of dictatorial power… He loved the Church out of service, out of self-sacrifice and out of pure virtue.  If we leave this part out of our understanding, our understanding lacks truth and our relationship with our spouse suffers.  Again, St. Paul is speaking to the men, saying “Men, serve your wife!  LOVE you wife!  Give up what you want for the sanctity and holiness of your wife!  Love her as you love yourself!  Want what’s best for her, never thinking about yourself first!”  I can imagine him being incredibly frustrated with men who were lacking as husbands, trying to get them to see that Christ set the example of being a real husband (a TrueMan) for them and that they simply need to emulate Him in order to succeed.

This means, for us men who are or who will be husbands, that we MUST act as Christ acted.  We must be perfected so that our actions, thoughts, words and deeds line up with how Christ would have done them.  We must be sacrificial in the way that we treat our wife.  Christ was a servant leader, He said “I come to serve, not to be served.”  Do that… don’t live to be served. 

On a practical note: as you look at your marriage and begin to digest what you are reading, realize that countless blessings will come from being a servant leader for your wife.  Being a servant leader means that you are serving while leading.  Service comes first.  Want respect from your wife?  Respect her first.  Want your wife to honor you?  Honor her first.  Want your wife to trust you?  Trust her first.  It’s a simple formula and this formula will change your life.  Christ calls us to act in the manner He acted, so guess what… if you are trying to act as Christ acted, you can’t be selfish, ever.  Serve your wife, serve your kids, serve your co-workers, serve everyone, and do it ahead of yourself and your needs.  It will change your life.

Man up!

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