Being Daddy on Vacation

I apologize for the long delay between posts.  Since I’ve started this blogsite, I haven’t had a break this long between articles, so thanks for bearing with me. 

I’ve been on vacation with my girls, far away from most of civilization at a great lake in (the middle of) the middle-of-nowhere Montana.  It was great.

While on vacation, it’s important for a father to realize that he doesn’t stop being a Daddy or a husband.  It would have been easy for me to have wanted to stay on the ATVs all day, work on the sail boat, go out fishing or shooting or to hang out just with the other guys.  It would have been easy to neglect my wife and children and do what I wanted to do.  Instead, I made the choice to put them first, and to put my selfish desires to the side.  I ended up having plenty of time on the ATVs (which, by the way, were incredible… see above picture) because I took the girls with me.  I made the loving choice to keep my priorities in line.  We had lots of time together playing, having fun, flying kites, going for walks, playing games and eating like kings and queens. 

It’s also easy (anytime really, but especially on vacation) to neglect my wife.  I strive to make her my top priority, but sometimes I struggle at showing her in the way the she needs to hear it or see it through my actions.  Vacation throws a wrench in everything because a guy is out of his element.  It’s not easy to be romantic, thoughtful or sensitive when there are lots of other adults and children running around.  That’s why its important to think ahead, to plan and to be strategic about the little things.  The little things, especially when it’s out of the normal operating area (home), go a really long way with women.  You know what else goes a long way with women?  When their husbands go out of their way to make special time for their children.  Now, before someone jumps down my throat for being insensitive and seeming like I’m saying that a father should only do what he should because it’ll keep the Mrs. happy and off his case, let me assure my readers that I’m simply saying that wives love their husbands for many reasons… one happens to be when a husband takes special time to be with his children.  I’m also not saying that a husband/father shouldn’t have time with the guys, or doing fun things.  I’m saying that those events can’t be the priority.

So, as you go on your summer vacations, keep in mind that it’s not about you.  It’s about your wife (she’s your best friend, by the way), your children and family time.  Think ahead and make the choice to love.

Man up!

Summer Time Spirituality

Since many of TrueManhood’s readers are in college, I think it’s important to take some time to talk about a spiritual life during the summer months.  Many of you have a strong faith community and spiritual support system while on campus and many of you are heading home (or at least away from your group) for the summer; how do you keep a strong spiritual life going?  Well, it’s easy to get back into old, bad habits when you go back into an old environment.  Some of those old, bad habits might be as simple as forgetting to pray everyday.  They might be more serious (with lasting effects on the rest of your life) like excessive drinking and promiscuous sexual activity.  That said, here are a few suggestions of how to keep your spiritual life going – and growing!

1. Pray daily.  Take time (whichever part of the day is best for you) to make this a priority.  As with any relationship, it requires that you speak and listen to the other person.  God, in this regard, is no different.  Talk to Him.
2. Make Sunday Mass a priority, and get to daily Mass as much as possible.  The grace received from the Eucharist will help you fight temptations toward old, bad habits.
3. Stay in touch with your friends from campus.  (Your good friends – NOT your nasty friends.)  A support/accountability/prayer connection helps a person significantly.  We are relational beings – created to be with one another.  Your friends want to help you, so talk to them.  It’ll probably end up helping them too.
4.  Do spiritual reading.  Find one or more (good/orthodox) Catholic spiritual books and read.  This might also include taking notes, journaling about what you read and/or about how it applies to your life or talking about it with someone else.
5. Do your best to keep Christ first and foremost.  I listed this last, but it’s not the least priority, but yet the highest priority.  I write about Christ last so that you remember that it’s all about Him.  Keep Him #1.

Man up!