Homosexuals, Homophobes, Homosapiens – The Third Way

Recently, several dynamic Catholic speakers teamed up to teach the actual, the real, the reasonable, and the true belief that Catholics hold regarding same-sex attraction.  The video, called “The Third Way”, is posted below.  The video is about 35 minutes long, but well worth the time.

Important Notes:

1. Catholics believe that homosexuality is a sin.  People are not homosexuals, acts are homosexual.  People are people.
2. The proper term, instead of “homosexual”, is a person with same-sex attraction (SSA).  This describes the person who wrestles with (or struggles with, gives into, indulges in, etc.) homosexual acts.
3. Same-sex attraction is a disorder (meaning it goes against the natural law) and should be avoided, as should all other disorders.
4. Catholics believe that every single solitary person has innate value, no matter what their disorder(s) may be, and should be loved.
5. Catholics love people, even if they indulge in sinful behavior.  Love the sinner, hate the sin.
6. The Catholic faith isn’t homophobic, individual people might be.  I am not.  See #4.
7. All persons are called to chastity (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2337.)
8. Simply because people who profess to be Catholic have acted or spoken improperly about the subject does not negate the teachings found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs 2357-2359.
9. TrueMen support, inspire, encourage, and challenge other males with SSA.
10. The Catholic Church offers support and encouragement to individuals with SSA through a group called Courage, as well as support groups for family/friends of individuals with SSA called Encourage.

This is, obviously, a very complex issue and widely discussed.  It would not be possible to write about every aspect, and I’m not intending to do so.  The bottom line… love people!

Here’s the video:

TrueMan up!

The Third Way from Blackstone Films on Vimeo.

A TrueMan Fighting the Pro-Life Fight

There’s no question in my mind that abortion is a man’s issue.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… if males were handling our business, women wouldn’t feel the need for abortion.  If we want the issue of abortion to go away, and for women, men, and children to receive healing, we must step up and fight.

One of my friends, my buddies, my other-brother-from-Our-Blessed-Mother is on the front lines of this battle, and I want to highlight him, his wife, his kids, and the people who are, literally, running along side him.  This man has a new role that he’s gearing up for as President of the Vitae Foundation, and on top of all of that, he is one of our nation’s heroes, an officer in the United States Air Force.

This man’s name is Lt. Col Pat Castle, PhD., and I’m blessed to know him and call him ‘brother’.  Several years ago, Pat and a few of his closest friends started a pro-life running ministry called “LIFE Runners“.  LIFE Runners has gone worldwide and has runners all over the place; running, praying, and raising money to end abortion.  It’s so powerful, they even convinced my non-running-self to run in the inaugural A+Cross America Relay.

Pat is relentless in his pursuits!  He is first and foremost a son of God, and a great husband, and a great father, and with great passion that never stops he is relentless in fighting the evil of abortion.  Vitae has honored him with the new role as President of the foundation, a great honor and a perfect spot for him to land after his long and illustrious Air Force career.  (Read about Pat and his VF role.)  Pat retires at the end of the month.

If you want to be inspired, and encouraged as a man who is willing to fight abortion, I’d get involved with Vitae, join LIFE Runners, and get Pat’s emails.  Everytime I hear from him, see something he posts, or see the aftermath that he leaves behind (GOOD aftermath!), I am undoubtedbly inspired.  Pat’s energy and efforts are effective.  There is no wasting time, no messin’ around… he gets the job done.

For all that you do and especially for the TrueMan that you are, HIGH FIVE to you, Pat!

TrueMan up!

Evangelizing a Man

The work of evangelization is a requirement for attaining TrueManhood.  Each man must come to fulfill the Great Commission, when Christ demanded that His disciples “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them all that I have commanded you.  And lo, I am with you always, even until the end of time.” (Matt 28:19-20.) This wasn’t the “Great Suggestion” – it is an obligation, an order, a must.

For men who are fathers, our children automatically become our disciples.  This is a huge task, and a mighty responsibility.  I’m not necessarily speaking about this directly in this post, although it may pertain to grown male children, to some extent.

In order to evangelize, we must ourselves be evangelized.  What does the word “evangelization” even mean?  What is it?  There are numerous ways we can think about evangelization – in terms of the definition, the time, place, and style, the programs, the books, the techniques, the strategies, and so forth.  That can become pretty complicated, and for our purposes somewhat unnecessary, so I suggest we break it down to a baseline understanding.  Evangelization = Jesus Christ.

When you hear or see the word, or encounter the concept of evangelization, your mind should automatically go to Jesus Christ.  You should consider who He was, what He did, why He did it, and how it impacts all we do.  It’s not rocket science, it’s really not.  Evangelization is coming to know the person of Jesus Christ.  When we know the person of Jesus Christ (once we’ve been evangelized – encountered Jesus) we are changed.  We are held to a higher standard.  What a great concept for men… to be challenged and held accountable to the highest standard!  How masculine!

How, then, do we go about evangelizing men?  Well, unfortunately, many of us simply don’t.  We fail to take the opportunities to talk to men in our lives, or men we encounter along the way.  We are timid, frightened, and lack gusto.  How a man might respond to us is enough to make us change how we speak, think, act, work, dress, and function.  It’s a powerful relationship.  Why, then, do we shy away from this if that relationship is so powerful?  Wouldn’t we want to make disciples from these powerful relationships?  I believe many don’t evangelize men because of fear.  Fear holds us back and prevents us from sharing who we really are.  Fear prevents us from sharing who Jesus is.  This is incredibly dangerous, because we’re failing to evangelize, not remaining true to the Great Commission, not proclaiming the Gospel, and failing to give a man all that he deserves (see ‘virtue of justice’ in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.)

I’m a firm believer that the best method for evangelization is through relationships.  Relational-Evangelization.  Creating relationships with folks is how we are able to learn about them, see who they are and what is beyond their outer façade, and how we are able to begin to gain moral authority (the right to be heard because we are trusted and respected by the other person.)  Once we gain moral authority with a person, we are able to speak into their lives, with meaning and purpose.  When it comes to the men in our lives, having moral authority with them is essential.  For many men, they need proof before they’ll listen to you.  The proof they want to see is that they can trust you.  Hurt caused by lack of trust (or loss of trust, once gained) is a major wound in the lives of many men.

For others, they want to see what you’re made of.  They want to see how hard you work, how tough you are, or whether or not you back up what you say.  Backing up what you say has to be done with actions, bringing in another important aspect to evangelizing men.  If you and I live as though what Jesus said was true, there will be something about us that is different (radically different) from the world.  Men whom we have relationships with will see this.

Living as a TrueMan in our world today is so important.  If we can achieve this – striving to live virtue, to be as Christ is – we will have great success in our evangelization, and through that, work to spread the Good News.  If we gain the men, we will gain the women and children as well.  Where men go, so goes the world.  May it all be for His glory!

CHALLENGE: consider a man in your life that doesn’t know Jesus Christ and begin to pray for him.  Pray too for the opportunities to evangelize this man through your actions and words.  Be open to the chances that are presented and be bold.  There are countless ways to evangelize, but doing nothing is not one of them.

TrueMan up!

Cultural Manliness Vlog – Get Your Gear On

Happy Lent 2014.  Ok, well maybe it’s not happy… it’s not supposed to be.  Either way, I’m pumped about Lent this year!  I’m ready to dive into my Lenten devotions so that I can work on growing in virtue, specifically through personal discipline and self-control.

Here’s a vlog on Cultural Manliness, encouraging men to be counter-cultural and to “get your gear on, and pack up.”

TrueMan up!

Tweet-Talk… Porn’s No Good, Ochocinco

I don’t tweet.  I have a Twitter account, and my Facebook page updates are automatically put on Twitter, but as for following, tweeting, re-tweeting, etc… I haven’t gotten into it.  I can see, however, from the post below, that Twitter can actually bring about some good.  Here’s a status from yesterday’s (2/8/12) #4 most mentioned person, my friend, John Leyendecker.

THROWING STONES AT OCHO’S PORNOGRAPHY – read below or view on the FOCUS Equip website.

So yesterday Chad Ochocinco (his Twitter handle is: @ochocinco) responded to me (@johnleyendecker) on Twitter! Can you believe it? I mean, c’mon, the guy has 3.2 million followers and he responded to me! This was huge! My kids have his Bengals jerseys (sorry Patriots fans) both with Johnson and Ochocinco on the back. My 4 year old son’s nickname is Sojo, which he immediately turned into Sojo-Cinco. Needless to say, we are HUGE fans.

What was said was troubling, but not surprising.

Here is the thread:

It all started when a Twitter follower of Chad Ochocinco’s asked him about a pornography website.

Ochocinco responds:

@ochocinco A very interesting site, I get most of my creative ideas from there to keep HER guessing what’s next.

In response to this tweet, I tweeted:

@johnleyendecker: @ochocinco you claim to be Christian, yet look at porn? You are a joke. Be a man. Honor your God and women. Kids look up to you.

This is when Ochocinco responds directly to my tweet:

@ochocinco: I tend to back slide every now and then kind sir. RT@johnleyendecker: @ochocinco you claim to be Christian, yet look at porn?

@johnleyendecker: just hope that people realize you are backsliding, not glorifying it. Peace & grace to you!

@ochocinco: I love you to oh Holy One RT @johnleyendecker: just hope that people realize you are backsliding, not glorifying it. Peace & grace to you!

From this interaction, almost 300 people on Twitter replied to our conversation. Some defended him and some encouraged me…but they mostly defended him.

Twitter only allows 140 characters, so I wanted to tell Chad and others what I really meant:

First, I want to apologize because in my zeal I left out a key phrase that would have given better context. I meant to say “you claim to be a Christian, yet you are glorifying looking at pornography.” So for this, I ask your forgiveness.

But the rest, I have to admit, I meant. Men who look at pornography and have no remorse, regret, or even go so far as to make it seem creative as you did Chad are a joke. Not joke, funny, but as in a joke not to be taken seriously.

I appreciate your comment about backsliding. I know a lot about backsliding. I know a lot about my own brokenness being what Christ is using in me to heal others. I know very well St. Paul’s words, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15) I have to admit Chad, I don’t take it lightly.

You see, I’ve been in ministry for 10 years and have seen the destruction that pornography causes in men’s and women’s lives. I have friends that work to liberate women and children from the sex slave industry that is built on the foundation of pornography. I will not quote to you the statistics or the studies, you can read them all on your own, but I want to share with you my heart and extend grace to you. Maybe you don’t know how destructive porn is? Maybe to justify your own addiction, you make light of it? Or worse, maybe you talk about it because you think it’s what your fans want to hear? I’m not sure, but I want to assume the best of you.

As men we are called to be responsible. A man who follows Christ takes responsibility. There is nothing funny or cool about pornography. Women have a tremendous dignity, a dignity that should be honored and guarded by men, not exploited and degraded. We are responsible for those men and women as leaders. Chad, you are a leader. Many young men and women look up to you as an example whether you like that or not. St. Paul says, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

I ask you, and remind myself of it as I ask it of you, to have the courage of your convictions. If you are trapped in bondage to pornography, ask for help. If you are embarrassed or feel guilty about some of things you have said, let’s repent and do better. Women deserve better, God deserves better, and as an adopted son of God, you deserve better too Chad. I wrote this because I care about you bro. I hope it can be an encouragement to you. If not, and you think I’m completely off-base, please resolve to pray for me. Please see that I wasn’t throwing stones at you or judging your heart, only God knows a man’s heart, but I can’t let a brother in Christ actions go unchecked, especially when it is hurting so many.

John converted to Catholicism in 1999 after a very prodigal lifestyle. It is from this place of brokenness that he shares what Christ has done in his life. He received his degree in classics and theology from Xavier University. Working with FOCUS at Colorado State for 4 1/2 years has made him passionate for the work of the New Evangelization. Currently John and his wife of 9 years, Lisa, live in Fort Collins, Colorado, with their five children. You can follow him on Twitter @johnleyendecker

A TrueMan’s Marriage

I just learned that February 7-14 is National Marriage Week.  I guess it’s fitting, with Valentine’s Day and all those commercialized red hearts.  Sort of cliche, if you ask me.  But, nonetheless, it is a real thing.  Even the US Catholic Bishops are behind this.  I’m putting this out now, a few days ahead, so you can get thinking, planning, and doing!

I’m all for marriage.  It is an incredible blessing to be a married man.  It challenges me, no doubt… but at the end of the day, and hopefully at the end of my life, I will be sanctified because of it.  There’s really nothing like giving your whole self to someone else for your entirety here on earth.  Something to ponder, for sure.

To consider where you are with things in your marriage, or if you aren’t married, to maybe consider what you want in your future marriage, here’s a blurb from the USCCB website on National Marriage Week:

February: A Time To Celebrate Love And Marriage

It’s the month of romance! Here are a couple February events to celebrate love and marriage:

“The Playboy Club” is Bombing!!!

Here is an update from Executive Director Dawn Hawkins of The War on Illegal Pornography on NBC’s “The Playboy Club”.  Great news!

“NBC and Playboy were ALMOST convincing last night as they struggled to portray that life as a bunny was everything BUT being treated as an object to be exploited by men. This week, the episode followed the bunnies and their opportunity to be featured on the cover of Playboy magazine.

The bunnies were asked why they wanted to be the new cover girl. I found the answers almost comical with responses like, “In my bunny suit, I’m in total control,” or “I want to show people that I can do big things,” and “I always dreamed of finding some place where I belonged… so, here I am.”

What type of woman would buy into that? Playboy doesn’t show the world that these women are smart and independent.Instead, they show women that their role is to just be a visual, sexual object to be used and discarded by men.

This has been Playboy’s stance on women since their first issue in 1953. We recently found this text from the first issue. “If you’re a man between the ages of 18 and 80, Playboy is meant for you… We want to make it clear from the very start. We aren’t a ‘family magazine.’ If you’re somebody’s sister, wife, or mother-in-law and picked us up by mistake, please pass us along to the man in your life and get back to your Ladies Home Companion…”

Playboy has made it clear that their brand is not about making the world a better, more accepting place for women. It was a man’s world and that is exactly how they want “The Playboy Club” on NBC to be – a man’s world where women just look pretty and keep the scotch pouring.

Since our efforts last week of contacting advertisers, already SEVEN companies have pulled their ads and refused to support the Playboy brand – Kraft, Sprint, Lenovo, UPS Store, Subway, PF Chang’s China Bistro and Campbell’s Soup.

The show also bombed in their ratings – a 19% decrease from their already low ratings last week! We see this as a huge victory and are continuing the effort this week. The contact information for the current advertisers is updated on www.CloseTheClubOnNBC.com. Contact these companies weekly and tell them how exploitive and objectifying “The Playboy Club” is towards women and why it should be closed!”

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