Four Days For Fathers – Day 3
June 20, 2010 by admin
Filed under Blog, Faith, Fatherhood, Virtue
Day 2’s post brings to mind another topic about fathers and sons that should be addressed. There are a great number of people, both men and women, that believe that men can’t be sentimental, affectionate or caring. If they are, then they must be effeminate, homosexual or other. These same people believe that a father shouldn’t have to tell his son that he loves him… that the boy should know merely by what his father does. Usually, the father (in this sort of situation) ‘shows’ his love by his hard work, by his determination, by what he provides for his family. What’s lacking, though, is the verbal communication between father and son. Without this communication, a large gap can take place where the son is longing for affirmation and the father is scared to share his feelings, in fear of not appearing ‘manly enough’ for his child.
Usually, what a son wants most in life (at least at a young age) is to make his father proud of him. When the son doesn’t receive the communication he desires from his father, it typically results in one of two scenarios. 1. He vows to be a different and better kind of father to his own children… or 2. he perpetuates the problem with his own children.
It’s a bit different between a father and his daughters – a sensitive father of daughters is looked at as if he’s doing it right. Firm, with high expectations, yet loving, tender and caring.
I know that many of you reading this post have daddy-shaped-holes in your life. I realize that reading about it and thinking about it may be difficult. While that may be true, I know that a solid way to get over the problems is to bring them to the light, to discuss them and to try to move past them. The only way to really get over them is to realize that God the Father is your loving father in Heaven and that He has plans for your welfare. (Read Jeremiah 29:11.)
Also, I want to address a topic from my first paragraph. Above, I wrote “There are a great number of people, both men and women, that believe that men can’t be sentimental, affectionate or caring. If they are, then they must be effeminate, homosexual or other.” A TrueMan is not effeminate or homosexual, but is virtuous. Virtue is the only way for a man to fully live out ‘manliness’. Period.
Fathers – talk with your children, grown or young. Set the example of how to love but also commit to saying the words “I love you” on a regular basis. I recommend saying it every chance you get.
TrueMan up!
The ‘Other’ Option
The video below is a parody done by some guys from an evangelical Protestant church. It appears that I’m poking fun at them, but in
fact, they’re poking fun at themselves. The video is really funny, especially to someone like myself who spent several years attending and ‘worshiping’ in this sort of setting. For those who haven’t experienced a service like this, I recommend you stick to the Mass.
What’s the difference? Can’t we all celebrate and worship the way we feel is best for us? NO!!! Christ instituted the Church and the rituals, celebrations and Sacraments the way He wanted them to be! When we deviate from what Christ intended, we lose total focus and begin living relativistic Christianity. Bad news. Instead, stay true to what Christ instituted. Want to know what He intended? Read the Gospels! But don’t just read the Gospels, because unless you speak/write/read Greek and have a 1st Century Hebrew worldview, you’re going to miss too much. Get other resources (such as commentaries, for instance) that explain what’s happening in the Gospels. If you have questions, please email us for help. Info@TrueManhood.com
If you can’t view the video, click HERE.
TrueMan up!
Where are the Men? Part 2
In the last post, I mentioned how while attending a Saturday evening Vigil Mass at a local parish, I noticed that only 4 of 31 servant-leadership roles were filled by men. Of those 4 positions of service, 1 was a young boy altar server, 2 were Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion and 1 was in the happy happy clap clap band. The problem is not the women, the problem is the men. Here’s why…
When men are absent from servant-leadership (in anything, not just at Mass) the ‘thing’ does not function properly. When a father is absent from his family, when a husband is absent from his wife, when a priest is absent from his parish, when a coach is absent from his team, when a boss is absent from his employees, when a commander is absent from his troops… the family, marriage, parish, team, company and unit do not function correctly. At Mass, specifically, we must correct the dysfunctions because they are widespread and have a large scope of influence. The way to correct the dysfunction is to encourage and challenge men to act in the way in which God created them to be. To grasp this picture, let’s look at the creation account in the Book of Genesis.
God created Adam. From Adam’s side, He created Eve. Adam was commanded by God to “shamar” the garden. Shamar is Hebrew for cultivate, protect, care for, etc. It was Adam’s job to cultivate the land, protect the garden, his wife and all of creation, but from the onset, Adam dropped the ball. When the serpent convinced Eve to eat of the fruit, where was Adam? Gone in another place in the garden? No. Was he over at some buddy’s house drinking a cold one, watching the big game? No. He was right beside her! [After all, she turned and handed him the fruit that she had just eaten from.] He was neglecting to protect the garden and his wife and failed to do what God created him to do. The Fall = Adam’s fault! When this sort of behavior (when men fail to cultivate, protect and care for) continues to prevail, the Church suffers greatly.
The choices Adam made are, in some way, the same decisions that many Catholic men today are making. Instead of cultivating the Church, protecting the Church and caring for the Church, men sit back and allow women to ‘do’. If you look at parishes and/or dioceses that are incredibly strong, that have great priests, that have large properly-functioning families and they have large numbers of seminarians, you’ll see that it is almost undoubtedly because men are involved as leaders!
The problem with men sitting back and allowing women (who are willing and ready to step in) to fill the gap is that the general population of men either don’t attend Mass or simply lose interest, although their backside is filling a spot in the pew. This sort of behavior teaches children that men don’t need faith and that faith is a ‘woman’s thing’. Many men believe that faith, religion, prayer, devotion, etc. is feminine and actually, anti-masculine. They couldn’t be further from the truth. As I have stated many times before, being manly means that a man is virtuous. Faith, Hope and Love, the Theological Virtues, are the real signs of manliness. In an upcoming post, I will continue with the thought of what happens when men and women don’t fulfill their roles and how it affects the Church as a whole, titled “The Church: By Women, For Women.”
TrueMan up!
“Into the Wild” Weekend Retreat with The King’s Men
My friends Mark Houck and Damian Wargo over at The King’s Men put on an awesome (and manly!) weekend retreat in the wilderness of eastern Pennsylvania called “Into the Wild”. I highly suggest that if you’re in the area, or if you can make it to eastern PA for one of these upcoming weekends, that you make this weekend happen.
Here’s what they have to say about it:
Rugged Outdoor Men’s Retreat!
The King’s Men are sponsoring a retreat for men called “Into the Wild” at French Creek State Park on June 10-13th. This experiential weekend features fishing, orienteering, outdoor cooking, archery, and faith presented in a masculine modality. No experience is necessary and space is limited. “Into the Wild” is excellent for single or married men as well as fathers and sons. More information at www.intothewildweekend.com or call Damian Wargo at 215-906-8878. Financial aid is available.
TrueMan up!
True Devotion to Jesus, Through Mary
Today is the feast day of St. Louis de Montfort. St. Louis lived in the 17th and 18th centuries and his greatest contribution to the faith
was that of perseverance in the face of critique and encouragement of the Church to be devoted to Jesus through Mary. For many, this Catholic teaching is hard because they may see devotion to Mary as an unnecessary practice, and in some cases, as blasphemous. Others may see devotion to Mary as something less-than-manly. On the contrary! Devotion to Mary, which St. Louis stressed in both writings, words and deeds, is the way to grow incredibly close to her son, our Lord, Jesus. As men, we have a great deal to learn about obedience and can learn a lot from Mary’s example.
First, the Maryology… there’s too much that would go into giving a dissertation on Mary here, however, I will draw attention to her place in salvation history. Mary accepted God’s will in her life and enthusiastically followed. Through her ‘yes’, Christ came into the world. Christ means King, and Mary therefore is the Queen Mother. The Queen Mother sits with the King petitioning for His loyal servants. (1 Kings 1:19.) By her ‘yes’, we reap the benefits of our Saviour.
St. Louis shows us that the theological virtues are the way to TrueManhood. He set a great example for us to achieve the virtues of faith, hope and love. The world attempts to tell men that these virtues are feminine and unnecessary. Take a look at just about any piece of media and you will see a direct attack against these virtues. St. Louis demonstrated great courage in the face of opposition and persecution to strive for faith, hope and love.
Lastly, a brief word of encouragement in regards to the Rosary. Faithful Catholics don’t just ‘say’ the Rosary, we ‘pray’ the Rosary. The Rosary is a mixture of reciting communal prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, etc.) AND a deep meditation (simultaneously, mind you) of the mysteries of the Rosary. The mysteries point directly to Christ’s life and ministry, culminating in His saving work of dying on the cross for our sins – the greatest example of manliness we have! Pray on!
The Rosary is our sword in the battle of Good vs. Evil.
TrueMan up!
Lighten Up, Cool Guy
A good majority of my posts are about serious topics and are written in a serious tone. Rightly so. Today however, I thought I’d change it up. Here’s a video I just saw (not the newest) but a good laugh.
If you can’t view the video, click HERE.
TrueMan up!
The Holy Father’s Week
This week marked Pope Benedict XVI’s 83rd birthday. Happy Birthday to him, and may he have many more! Recently, in the news, the Holy Father has been under siege by the secular media. I’ve been debating with myself whether or not to join the discussion, and have decided to say only a few words.
First, Pope Benedict XVI is the successor of St. Peter and with that comes both a great deal of responsibility and [should also come with] a great deal of respect. Secondly, the media has been everything but respectful, and honestly, they have been downright scandalous in regards to their comments, attacks and accusations. (I expect nothing less from the media; they are anti-Catholic and despicable.) Thirdly, Pope Benedict has not, nor does he, nor will he, condone abuse of children, whether it comes in the form of pedophilia, ephebophilia, homosexual acts by priests or other. He has never, nor will ever, cover up sex-abuse scandal and simply does not operate that way. The secular media paints a picture of Pope Benedict as the responsible party in the sex-abuse cases over the past 50+ years, and simply put, PB16 does not deserve to be treated this way.
If the faithful take time to realize what’s going on, each of us will see that the salacious claims against PB16 are another ploy by the culture to discredit, undermine and attempt to destroy the Catholic Church. Pope Benedict is a great shepherd and is leading the Church well.
Knights of Columbus, and others, all around the world have united to pray for protection, strength and clarity for Pope Benedict XVI. I recommend you join the cause.
TrueMan up!
