Keep Fighting

Men, Whether you’ve been on the battle field for a long time or have just begun the fight, I want to encourage you to continue to fight! The devil is strategic in how he attacks you and a period of freedom (any amount of time) can at times play games with a man’s mind, allowing him a sense of “I’m done with this” – that’s called complacency.  No matter how long you’ve experienced freedom (1 day or 10 years), you can never let your guard down.  The path to holiness is paved by discipline and you must remain disciplined in order to successfully achieve holiness.  Holiness, a complete imitation of Christ, in Heaven is our goal.  If you’re reading TrueManhood for the first time, then you may not know what I’m talking about.  Here at TrueManhood, we directly attack the evils of the culture, one of those being a most grave evil – pornography.

For men who are reading this for the first time (or for someone who knows a man who has an addiction to pornography but hasn’t yet sought help), please visit the links posted below to get started in battling your addiction.  If you’ve already seen all these resources, it may be time to read them again.  Take back your life and strive for TrueManhood – a life of virtue in Christ Jesus.

• For “TrueManhood’s 5 Step Plan to Overcoming an Addiction to Pornography” Click HERE.
• To read other articles about the fight against pornography, type in ‘PORN‘ or ‘PORNOGRAPHY‘ in the search box towards the upper right.
• For Porn Addiction Resources, Click HERE.
• For “TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue” Click HERE.
• To view videos of my talks against pornography addiction, Click HERE.
• For free anti-porn software, click HERE.
• If at anytime you need assistance with your battle, email me directly at Dave@TrueManhood.com.

TrueMan up!

A Change of Command

In a move that many see as an absolute must, Pope Benedict XVI appointed a new Archbishop to the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. The Archdiocese of Los Angeles is the largest diocese in the US, however at the same time, one of the worst off.  Archbishop Gomez, formerly of San Antonio, will be fully installed as Archbishop early in 2011.  His orthodoxy speaks for itself; we should expect to see some big changes in L.A. soon.  I came across this video and laughed quite hard around the 3:00 minute mark, along with other smirks, laughs and downright joy throughout other sections.  If you don’t understand what’s going on here please email me (Dave@TrueManhood.com) or find me on Facebook so that I can answer your questions, clarify any seemingly ‘gray’ areas or explain what’s happening more indepth.

I’m unable to embed the video in the post, so click HERE to watch it.  Wish I could post it directly.

TrueMan Up!

He Lost It

Maybe you saw this video from about 10 days ago.  It’s video of a minor league hockey coach who goes ballistic on the referee about a bad call against one of his players.  The coach is Jim Playfair, which is sort of ironic, considering.  Be sure to watch the folks in the stands, as well as the players to the coach’s left laughing at him.  Take a look.

If you can’t view the video, click HERE.

What’s amazing is that in our culture, this sort of behavior is glorified.  Although collectively, we think things such as “what a crazy man” or “that guy’s goin’ nuts”, we watch it and continually let it happen.  This particular video has been viewed over 555,000 times, and is merely one version of the incident.  The fact that this coach lost his cool like this shows that he’s not virtuous in the area of prudence, temperance or justice.  (A TrueMan is virtuous.)  I wonder what would happen at my office if someone acted this way.

I watched a few videos discussing this outburst, and one that caught my attention was a radio personality that said, something to the effect of, “this is a coach expressing emotion.  He’s defending his player, showing some emotion.  I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”  In fact, the radio guy went on to call it “great”, that this coach did what he did.  Well, Mr. Smart-Radio-Personality-Guy, a TrueMan controls his emotions and doesn’t lash out like Mr. Playfair.  This was not great.

TrueMan Up!

Are You a Supertasker?

Supertasker; have you heard this word yet?  I’ve only lately come across this newly “invented” conjecture.  (I like conjectures, especially those of an “invented” nature… TrueManhood, TrueMan, TrueMen, etc!)  I read about supertaskers in an online article.  The context of the word stems from the arguments about the potential success that an individual has while using a cell phone while driving, but it can also be used to describe people who can successfully do two or more things at once.

The findings in the article were pretty incredible and I write about this topic today to encourage you to make sensible and safe decisions when it comes to your cell phone use while driving.  Remember – as men, we are called to care for those around us in all we do.  The research shows that most people have problems with reaction time to braking, following distance and memory details of what took place during phone calls.  My encouragement stems from this finding, which held substantial evidence for the cause against driving and talking.  Many men believe that they are indestructible.  Many men believe that the “common finding” doesn’t apply to them, that they are somehow superior to the average Joe.  In this case, the research shows that most of us (I’m assuming I’m in this category, too) simply lose driving proficiency while on the phone.  Are you willing to risk the life of another human being, maybe even your girlfriend, wife or child, in order to take that call?  It just doesn’t make sense to push it.

Now, I’ll admit, I talk on the phone while I drive.  Where I think I’m different than most people (I’m NOT saying I’m a supertasker) is that I put driving first and the phone call second.  I’m aware of what’s going on, checking my mirrors, using my turn signal and so on.  I believe that I do a good job of successfully doing both the driving and the phone call.  However, it begs the question: “Is the phone call worth it?”  I realize that most of us are going to drive and talk.  I get it.  However, please allow me to urge you to set yourself up for success… use a hands-free device if you’re going to do it.  Hands-free doesn’t prevent accidents, but at least you have two hands available.  Pay attention to the road first, and if you must ask the person on the other line to repeat themselves, do it.  Save a life today.

By the way, studies show that only 2.5% of the population are supertaskers.  Most fighter pilots fall into the category of supertasker.

Man up!

Opening Day 2010

Today marks the start of the 2010 Major League Baseball season.  Best of luck to all the teams out there, especially to my Pirates, who need lots of help!  There’s something about heading out to the ballpark on a summer day, at least for those of us who like baseball.  If you aren’t a baseball fan, that’s fine… this post isn’t about baseball, per se.  Here at TrueManhood, we wanted to do a “compare and contrast” between baseball and manliness.

• Baseball is a game.  Manliness isn’t.
• Baseball is played during the summer.  Manliness is always.
• Baseball players can “mess up” 7 out of 10 times at bat over their entire career and be considered a Hall of Famer.  Manliness can’t sustain those numbers.
• Baseball is about trying to win most of the time.  Manliness strives to “win” all the time.  (“Win” here means to be a TrueMan.)
• Baseball allows men to throw tantrums, kick dirt, scream, cuss, chew and throw drink coolers.  Manliness never stands for that sort of behavior.

We could continue on for hours with this sort of thing.  I’ve got nothing against baseball, I enjoy baseball, especially when I get to play the game.  I grew up playing from an early age into my adult life, I take my family to the ballpark regularly and I really enjoy the playoff season.  What we need to be careful about, and this goes for everything in life (other sports, the Hollywood mentality, the online community, etc.) is to take baseball in using moderation.  Manliness, however, we should take in with excess!  (Remember, manliness means living a virtuous life!)

Man up!

True God and TrueMan

The Easter Triduum is an incredible celebration within our Church’s liturgical calendar.  The Triduum is the time from Holy Thursday until Easter Day, which includes so many incredible elements to our faith, such as: The Institution of the Eucharist at the Last Supper!  The Institution of the Priesthood, Christ humbling Himself (as our example, especially for men) as a servant-leader with the washing of the feet, Christ’s Passion, Christ’s death on the cross as the Paschal Lamb – the Passover fulfillment, and tomorrow, the celebration of His Resurrection!  What a rich and humbling tradition of redemption we have!

We should see Christ as our model.  He is the perfection of manliness.  He is all virtue.  He is sacrificial, even to the point of death.  He is a servant leader.  It is these characteristics that we should be striving for.  In the Divine Praises, we pray the following statement… “Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true man.”  This verse has become the tagline for our ministry here at TrueManhood (scroll down this page to see!), and for good reason.  We’re all asking the question, “what does it mean to be a real man?”  The answer lies with Christ.  When you get up in the morning, throughout the entire day, and again before you go to bed, I recommend that you immerse yourself in the life of Christ so that you can learn what He did while He walked this earth and also, so that you learn what He continues to do, as He sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven.  This means, first and foremost, that you are praying continually!  A daily, fervent prayer life will aid you greatly.  [Don’t know how to pray?… shoot me an email and we’ll chat.  Dave@TrueManhood.com.]  Next, I recommend that you gaze upon Christ on the cross.  His sacrifice is there and present on the cross.  The image of Christ on the cross reminds us of what and who He is and why He did what He did for us, all of us.  Stare at Him.  Unite your suffering to Him.  Serve as He served.  Lead as he led.  Love as He loved.

I pray that your Lenten experience was fruitful this year.  Be aware that you can give up things (this is called fasting) anytime (not on Sundays)… it doesn’t have to be only during Lent.  Work to control your will, so that by saying ‘no’ in the little things, you can say ‘no’ to the big temptations.  Practicing what the Church suggests for us during Lent is good to continue throughout the entire year.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Selfishness Impedes Service

My daughter has been sick for several days.  Because she is a toddler, it is difficult to really pinpoint what’s happening with her, what hurts and how to make her better.  I’ve been at a loss for exactly what to do, and although we’re trying, she doesn’t seem to be getting better.  At least not as fast I my wife and I would hope.  As I’ve been observing her and contemplating solutions to this problem, I realized something today… selfishness impedes service.  What do I mean?

When you’re in charge of someone else, and their entire well-being stems from your actions, it’s plain to see that they not only rely on you to make good decisions, but to be at their service.  This isn’t to say that I wait hand-and-foot on my children, but it means that my daughters, especially when ill, need me to be selfless in regards to them.  And, I want to be a servant-leader for my family and for the world, which requires me to continually learn how to better serve them.  I look at my life and realize (quite often) how selfish I can be.  I like what I like, the way I like it, when I like it, how I like it.  This gets in the way of my ability to truly serve my family.

Where did my selfish tendencies come from?  Besides my fallen human nature, my tendency toward selfishness stems from my past pornography use.  It made everything I do, even serving my sickly little girl, about me.  Because of this revelation, I realized that the only way to do that is to look to the cross.  I must unite my failures in life to the struggle Christ experienced on the cross so that I am purified of my tendency toward comfort, self-pleasure and ease.  My little girl needs me to be one hundred percent committed to taking care of her and if I don’t watch it, I’ll put myself before her, falling into old patterns and losing sight of the cross.  If this happens, my selfishness has won and drastically impedes my ability to serve.

I urge everyone to take a step back, especially during Holy Week, to evaluate the areas in your life (vicious behavior) that require change.  Figure out how to change those things and continue to work on them until you possess the virtue that overcomes that vice.

Man up!

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