A TrueMan Fighting the Pro-Life Fight

There’s no question in my mind that abortion is a man’s issue.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… if males were handling our business, women wouldn’t feel the need for abortion.  If we want the issue of abortion to go away, and for women, men, and children to receive healing, we must step up and fight.

One of my friends, my buddies, my other-brother-from-Our-Blessed-Mother is on the front lines of this battle, and I want to highlight him, his wife, his kids, and the people who are, literally, running along side him.  This man has a new role that he’s gearing up for as President of the Vitae Foundation, and on top of all of that, he is one of our nation’s heroes, an officer in the United States Air Force.

This man’s name is Lt. Col Pat Castle, PhD., and I’m blessed to know him and call him ‘brother’.  Several years ago, Pat and a few of his closest friends started a pro-life running ministry called “LIFE Runners“.  LIFE Runners has gone worldwide and has runners all over the place; running, praying, and raising money to end abortion.  It’s so powerful, they even convinced my non-running-self to run in the inaugural A+Cross America Relay.

Pat is relentless in his pursuits!  He is first and foremost a son of God, and a great husband, and a great father, and with great passion that never stops he is relentless in fighting the evil of abortion.  Vitae has honored him with the new role as President of the foundation, a great honor and a perfect spot for him to land after his long and illustrious Air Force career.  (Read about Pat and his VF role.)  Pat retires at the end of the month.

If you want to be inspired, and encouraged as a man who is willing to fight abortion, I’d get involved with Vitae, join LIFE Runners, and get Pat’s emails.  Everytime I hear from him, see something he posts, or see the aftermath that he leaves behind (GOOD aftermath!), I am undoubtedbly inspired.  Pat’s energy and efforts are effective.  There is no wasting time, no messin’ around… he gets the job done.

For all that you do and especially for the TrueMan that you are, HIGH FIVE to you, Pat!

TrueMan up!

Some of My Favorite Daddy Moments

A lot of what I write about is fairly heavy, and usually very serious.  I think that it’s important in all of the seriousness to take a step back from time to time and keep things in perspective.  When I allow myself to do this, it almost undoubtedly directs my thoughts to what’s really important in my life; my children.

Lately, I’ve been concentrating on being less of a nagging parent, being more positive in my speech to my children, and picking my battles.  Recently, I took my three oldest children to the local lake to go fishing.  It was the heat of the afternoon and we didn’t have the right bait.  We were fishing from the bank, and in an area with little to no habitat where fish like to live, move, and eat.  The odds were against us.  We fished (ie: practiced their casting and reeling skills – they got pretty good!) for over an hour, then the kids took their shoes off, waded into the water, and attempted to skip rocks.  It was a blast.  I enjoyed just being there with them, with no agenda, no plans, no rules, just fun.

Now that the weather is warmer, we’ve been doing a lot of this lately.  Playing outside with bikes and scooters, spending lots of time at local parks, and so on.  What I love about this time with them is that we’re making memories.  My kids will either remember how much I worked or how much time I played with them.  I want the work to be there, obviously it has to be, but I also NEED the play time to be there as well.  We’ve also been spending more time in prayer together, which has been awesome.  I instituted a new rule… whenever we see our friend (a true prayer warrior) over at the church, which we live across from, we’re going in too.  She’s there every. single. day. and so are we now.

As summer break gets ramped up, we have plans for more baseball, swimming, bike riding, camping (I’m most excited about camping!), and even some late spring-season turkey hunting.  I hope to update everyone on those as we go.

So dads… and men who desire to be a dad someday… don’t remove the seriousness of life and don’t abdicate your responsibilities, but make time for the fun things with your kids.  I constantly hear parents of older children (ie: grandparents) talking about “how fast time flies” and “how fast they grow up.”  I don’t want to wake up one day and have missed out.  This is my only chance.

PS: speaking of being a fun dad… check out the comedian @jimgaffigan, he’s hilarious and often talks about his kids.  A father of 5, he knows how to keep it light and fun.

TrueMan up!

Vikings – Filled with Faith, and Masculinity

Early on when I heard about the show “Vikings” on the History Channel, I was very intrigued.  When I watched the first episode on our Roku, it unfortunately lost me fairly quickly.  My first impressions were that the acting was subpar, and the accents were pretty distracting.  At the prompting of my good friend Jared Zimmerer, I gave it another chance and watched episode two.  Something about it began to reel me in and I have subsequently watched all of the episodes to date.

I’m intrigued by the story for many reasons.  I’ve finally decided to blog about it now especially because of the most recent episode called “Boneless”.  Vikings is the story of Earl Ragnar Lothbrok (a legendary Norse ruler), his conquests, his family, and the general life and happenings of the “Northmen.”  I enjoy watching the fight scenes, which are pretty decent.  I also enjoy the drama between the various leaders, the imagery between good & bad, right & wrong, the marriages and relationships, but there are two very impressive themes that keep me coming back.

The first is how much the show’s writers and the actors have incorporated faith into the show.  The Vikings are referred to as pagans, but that’s not what comes across the screen.  The Vikings come across, to me, as being very faithful.  They are polytheistic, but they are constantly thinking about, speaking about, and invoking their gods.  This is not something often celebrated in our culture.  Faith, especially of warriors, is often seen as unnecessary and as a weakness.  Clearly, these Viking warriors invoke their gods, and find need to be in prayer, sacrifice, and worship of their gods.  It’s hard at times to watch because they believe that their gods call for murderous, ravenous, barbaric behavior, and a crude form of justice, so naturally it doesn’t lineup with Christianity.  One flaw, typical of Hollywood… the element that shows Christians in a horrible light – as weak, superstitious dummies, incapable of personal thought and masculine leadership.  Besides that, though, I’m impressed.

I find it very interesting that faith is found as such an important and normal part of their lives.  That’s what I want to highlight… their faith that is all-encompassing.  They think about their gods constantly.  It is engrained in the show by being engrained into the lives of the characters.  The characters are constantly talking about their gods, and the imagery shows that.

The second point, and maybe even more important, is how pro-life the show is.  It seems a contrast to a barbaric, ravenous people, but in this last episode, the wife of Earl Ragnar gives birth to a child that has a limb that apparently doesn’t function fully.  They don’t really show it exactly, but they refer to him as a ‘runt’.  At one point, Ragnar discusses with his wife about the child never having a full life, and asking the question “what could his life possibly amount to?”  The wife says, “Yes, you are correct, but I love him.”  She gives the child a chance.

There’s a scene where, during the night, Ragnar goes into where the baby is sleeping, and he takes him, walking out near the river.  As a viewer, I was spellbound, questioning what Ragnar was going to do.  He takes out his hatchet, and it looks like he’s going to kill his son, saying “there is no other way.”  The scene cuts away to Ragnar walking away from his son, leaving the viewer wondering.  This is a symbol, to me, of parents who feel like they have no other option when it comes to abortion.  There is seemingly nothing else they can.  It turns out that Ragnar didn’t kill his child, but rather, he chose life!  Even though it was incredibly difficult for him to do, he chose life!

I think it’s interesting, in our culture, that is so pro-death, so ready to discard the humans that appear to be less-than, that this show would embrace faith and would embrace concepts of masculinity (albeit flawed, tremendously), but it embraces life.  The concepts of masculinity are interwoven throughout, especially the topics of being a husband, a father, a friend, a brother, a worker/provider, a warrior, and a follower of God.   I will continue to watch.

Note: There are some potentially scandalous parts of this show, specific to sexuality.  You may choose not to watch because of that.

TrueMan up!

Filling the Void in a Kid’s Life

It’s a sad situation when a child grows up without a father.  Unfortunately, we have a large segment of society living without their fathers… some because they’ve passed away, and some because the fathers fail to step up.  Both situations are difficult, but I submit that those that fail to step up are more detrimental to the lives of their kids, leaving a huge void – a void almost insurmountable.

I recently had the opportunity to go with my eleven year old nephew, Isaac, to his youth trap league.  We were accompanied by Isaac’s grandfather, but not by the boy’s father.  Isaac performed incredibly, especially in the face of adverse conditions.  It was cloudy, cold, and extremely windy, but he kept with it and shot really well.  The sun eventually came out, the winds calmed, and at the end of the day, Isaac had a lot to show for his performance.  I wanted to highlight him and his efforts because I’m so proud of him, but also felt the need to talk about the void that is present in his life and what I’m trying to do about it.

Have you heard or read the stats about children who grow up without a father and how they are set up for failure?  Well, Isaac is beating those odds!  Thanks to his mother who is strong and doing all she can, and thanks especially to Isaac’s Grandpa, he is succeeding in, despite his sitaution, and will continue to be supported and encouraged.  It is amazing to watch this young boy grow and overcome.

Isaac and his siblings are a prime example of growing up with the void of a father.  Yes, they have a father.  Yes, they see their father and are in his custody at times.  His kids need and deserve more.  That’s where other men MUST come in.  Maybe you know a kid like Isaac – another little kid who is fighting hard to beat the odds.  We can’t wait around and expect that dad to change, we have to step in and fill the void.  Along the way, we should also challenge the father to pick up the slack and change his behavior, but that may never pan out, so we invest in the child all that we can.

I invest in my nephew because I know it will make him better.  If I can first live by example, then help lead him into manhood through extra effort, I believe that my efforts will be rewarded.  I believe it will effect his younger siblings in a positive way, too.  Think about the kids in your life that have a void and figure out a way you can step in and cover some of that gap.  If you don’t, who will?

TrueMan up!

3 Most Damaging Words? – Nope

Have you seen the PSA style video “The Mask You Live In”?  It talks about boys in our culture, and stereotypes of how boys handle the stresses of growing up male, in addition to the struggles of living up to the standards the culture and peers place on them.  There are truths in the video, but I disagree with their take on “the 3 most destructive words you could say to a boy.”  Here’s the video:

The suggestion is made that telling a boy to “Be a Man” is detrimental to him.  If we’re speaking from the context of cultural manliness, then sure, I could see that.  If, however, we’re speaking from the context of authentic masculinity (ie: TrueManhood), then this is absolutely what we should be telling our boys!  We should be encouraging them, teaching them, forming them, and exemplifying for them what it means to be a man so they are able to set a goal and become what they were created to be.  A TrueMan!

We must, unequivocally, call, lead, and guide our boys into true manhood.  We must expect it, and set our boys up to meet the expectation.  If we do not, they will land somewhere on either extreme.  On the one hand, we have a “hyper-masculinity” (other negative words have been associated with this, such as “macho man or machismo”, “bravado”, “meathead”, “jock”, etc.) and on the other, we have an effeminate version of masculinity (which doesn’t even make sense), which is incredibly disordered.  In fact, both versions are a false, counterfeit version, and are incredibly disordered.

Some of the buzz words used, and my thoughts:

• “Don’t cry.”  Men, you can cry.  God wouldn’t have given us emotion and tear ducts if He didn’t want us doing it.  And oh yeah, Jesus wept.
• “Pick yourself up.”  Yes, we’re going to fall.  Pick yourself up and get back on track.
• “Respect.”  Respect is earned.  Give it, and you will likely gain it in return.
• “Proving masculinity.”  Yes, this has to happen.  This is how we grow in virtue, by proving our masculinity.  This is very different from the view the video takes, which is speaking about becoming violent or using violence to be the proof.
• “Closeness.”  This is very hard for males in our society!  It is vital, essential, critical that fathers have a closeness with their sons!  Hugs, kisses, embracing, physical closeness, as well as emotional closeness and a spiritual closeness are all so important between fathers and sons.  (Thanks Dad, for always being close when I was a kid, and now.)
• “Vulnerability.”  Our culture tells men that being vulnerable is feminine.  Vulnerability actually requires strength.
• “Hyper-masculine.”  When masculinity is distorted, it will appear to be either side of the extremes, but never what it should be.

What I don’t like about the video is that it generalizes all of the negative aspects of masculinity overall, as if there is or needs to be some redefined version of masculinity out there.  No, there are two versions of masculinity: 1. The truth. 2. The lie.  That’s why TrueManhood.com exists, to perpetuate the truth, and to help get rid of the lie.  The truth is that a man (a human being with an XY chromosomal makeup) has the God-given ability, and the responsibility, to live up to what he was created for – to live virtuously.  The lie is cultural manliness; the more power, money, sex, and stuff a male has, the more manly he is.  Let’s work together, not at the loss of the truth, but together so that the truth can be proclaimed!

TrueMan up!

Share Your Greatness

I recently saw a ridiculous commercial from PlayStation 4.  Watch:

I had no idea how big these Sony marketing efforts were (probably because I don’t watch much television or play video games) and didn’t realize until after I shot the short video (below) that this isn’t a new marketing scheme at all, but rather, it’s been out for a while and it is mainstream.  You’ll see that the video above has been viewed 12+ million times.  This doesn’t count the other commercials, the print ads, or the times it’s been seen on TV and other mediums.  It goes without saying, this version of greatness has been consumed.

It’s not in this video, but there are other PS4 commercials under the same “Greatness Awaits” slogan that talk about “epic” moves and actions, “first to greatness”, and “sharing your greatness.”  The idea is that when a gamer makes a successful play, a creative kill, or a “first of a kind” move in a video game, PS4 will save the video of that move and then post it for others to see on social media.  Is this all that we have?  Is this the best we can do?  This is false reality perpetuating false reality!  The false reality that is video games, to me, is astonishing in and of itself… and now this sort of marketing is applied.  All that we expect out of ourselves is a good move or play in a video game?  Lame.

I make some bold claims in the video. Some of the themes aren’t as developed as I’d maybe like, but I’ve never posted about this specifically, and want to at least get the ball rolling on this topic. We have a major epidemic of males (boys) running around when we need men. (FYI: The opposite of masculinity isn’t femininity, it is childishness.) We have a ‘culture of the young male’ that wastes incredible amounts of time sitting at a screen, pressing some buttons.  Since the advent of the Atari, it’s become worse and worse.  Many of our young males aren’t going on adventures. These young males aren’t pursuing noble causes. They don’t even go outside! Many of these same young males lack courage and the ability to ask a woman out on a date. They are missing out on life.  (Trust me, I’ve experienced this firsthand, on college campuses around the country, in high schools, and in society the past 15+ years.)

Men – if you find yourself as one of these males that play video games, I want to encourage you to get rid of them. Call it quits. Find a suitable alternative. (I name a few categorically in the video.) Strive for true greatness.

Women – if you are with a male who throws time down the garbage by playing video games, ask yourself if he’s what you deserve. Help him by expecting more from him.

Parents – if your children have video games, I’m not saying that they are intrinsically evil, but want to encourage everyone to take a step back and consider how much time is being spent in this false reality, and how much effort and money is going into a mindless and fleeting activity? Is this all that we can, should, or will expect of our children? This goes far beyond video games, and includes all of our use on screens of any kind. They are one of the devil’s gateways into our lives. I’m suggesting that you consider heavily the consequences of video games in your children’s lives.

As with all things in life, TrueManhood.com wants to relate what we do and what we should be doing to virtue.  The answer here is to strive for magnanimity.  St. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa described magninimity as “stretching forth the mind to great things.”  It is also, “Greatness of soul. It looks especially to honor and seeks to perform noble deeds. Its object is to perform actions that faith tells a person are great in the eyes of God, no matter what people may think of one’s conduct. “

TrueMan up!

Cultural Manliness Vlog – Get Your Gear On

Happy Lent 2014.  Ok, well maybe it’s not happy… it’s not supposed to be.  Either way, I’m pumped about Lent this year!  I’m ready to dive into my Lenten devotions so that I can work on growing in virtue, specifically through personal discipline and self-control.

Here’s a vlog on Cultural Manliness, encouraging men to be counter-cultural and to “get your gear on, and pack up.”

TrueMan up!

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