Just Strollin’ Along
So near my office (at the Air Force Academy), there’s a trail from the chapel parking lot over the hill to the visitor’s center. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people trek over this trail every week. Yesterday, as I was walking to my truck at the end of the day, I saw something that was NOT manly.
A man was strolling along, walking up the hill easily, without a care in the world… while the woman next to him (I’m assuming his wife) – in a skirt and 4 inch dress-shoe-heels, mind you – was struggling to push their stroller, with baby inside, up this trail! I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to yell out – “Hey, you there, the guy NOT BEING MANLY!!! Why don’t you help her out and push the stroller?! And oh yeah, I’m going to blog about you on www.TrueManhood.com” In an attempt to be civil, I decided not to. (It would have made a scene and would NOT have been the correct way of challenging this guy to be manly.) Oh, how I wish I had my camera.
Guys, whether the women around you are your wife or not, HELP THEM OUT! If it’s another guy, struggling to make it up the hill, you should offer to help him out too! Use common sense, be aware of what’s around you and be a man of action. Do something!
Man up!
In Response to a Comment: More Positive Examples, Please
James,
I greatly appreciate your comment, keep ’em comin’! The topic of negative/judgemental material has been brought to my attention before, and I would like to publicly respond. I will write this post here, as well as respond to you in the comment section under “About TrueManhood’s Author”.
The first time I was asked about it, someone asked me, “Do I really believe that men are as bad off as I make them seem?” My answer was emphatically “Yes!”. I witness unconscionable behavior almost on a daily basis, and this behavior has become the socially accepted norm for males. I also, on occasion, see an example of manliness lived out in our modern world – I typically write about it.
I’d like to draw attention to the majority of my past posts during the months of June/July 09; these posts are positive examples of men living out virtue and encouraing others to do the same. Since Father’s Day, 7 of my last 9 posts have had optimistic and positive outlooks on men and their manliness. The few posts that seem to have a negative and/or seemingly judgemental approach are written as real life examples of men who fail to live out the call that has been placed on all of our hearts since the dawn of time. (See the discourse between God and Adam in The Book of Genesis.) These few “negative” examples are in place in order to bring light to the darkness and to hopefully start to reverse a trend that I (I believe we all see it happening in front of us daily) see happening in our culture; this trend is that a stereotypical male lives a certain way. I have referred to this as “cultural manliness” – the idea that a man is judged based on how much money, power, possessions and sex he has. I desire to fight this stereotype, reverse it so that the trend is of virtuous men living out their God-given call and to win souls for Christ.
I would really appreciate any and all comments on this topic!
Man up!
Pictures Speak Louder
So I’m on vacation with my wife… we’re here in Florida, enjoying the sun, the pools and the theme parks. I don’t plan to post every day, but I saw something today that I had to address. We were riding on our shuttle and a newlywed couple got on. I knew they were newlyweds by their shirts. The bride modeled a white tank with rhinestones spelling out “bride”. The groom, however, sported a black t-shirt with a picture that spoke much louder than words ever could.
This message, “Game Over”, depicting a groom and bride, shows not only a distane for marriage, but a lack of respect for one another in the bond that just took place through the marriage vows. I’ve got lots of problems with this shirt, but here are my two biggest beefs:
1. He, (if he’s even close to a man) asked her to marry him. He asked her if she would spend the rest of her life with him. Why do men (typically, in society) see marriage as “game over”? Marriage is an incredible gift, an amazing relationship between best friends that work with God to be co-creators of life. Why can’t this guy, and other men everywhere, see this?
2. The bride, who just vowed her life to this man, is okay with him wearing this shirt. She’s okay with him wearing it in public. She’s okay with him proudly displaying his viewpoint of what his new and exciting relationship is all about. Essentially, he’s saying “My past life of fun and freedom is over” and she’s saying “He’s right”.
What a shame. I hope that somewhere, at least one man and one woman reads this post and changes their viewpoint on what a marriage can be. I know the other side of this “Game Over” t-shirt. I know the side of marriage that brings about life, with a woman that I love and share my entire life with. I actually like being with her, spending time with her, sharing my life with her. Best of luck to this young couple; I hope they make it past this sort of attitude and have a long and lasting relationship.
Man up!
A Father Breaking the Cycle
June 25, 2009 by admin
Filed under Fatherhood
Often times, what I blog about are bad experiences that I have of males who aren’t holding up their end of the deal in society. Typically, they’re making bad decisions, exemplifying “cultural manliness” and slacking on being a TrueMan. Today, I’m going to change things up and speak about a man that is Breaking the Cycle.
This TrueMan is a national hero, a firefighter who has unselfishly put himself in harm’s way to protect others for well over 20 yrs. He is a Captain at a well-known Marine base near Washington D.C. He influences the young men in the firehouse, not only in the ways of firefighting, but also in life. The biggest impact he has though (not at all to discount his years of service nor his honors & accolades) is the impact he has on his family.
The father of three, this TrueMan knows well that a father’s impact is long lasting and the most important relationship in the lives of his children.
This man had a childhood with a father that was a workaholic. To quote him, “My Dad didn’t have 5 minutes for me, a year.” Not only did the father neglect his only son, he was abusive and left physical scars to prove it. In speaking with him the other day, he said something that really struck me. He said “I won’t be like my father was. Not a a chance.” It struck me not only because he’s breaking the cycle of what his father showed him, but because he means it. He’s convicted, in the deepest part of his heart, to give his children the attention, devotion and love that he never received. It’s not out of spite or out of pity, it’s out of love. The love he has for them resonates deeply with me because his children are my godchildren, and needless to say, are very important to me.
I could continue on for many more paragraphs, but I think my point is easy to understand and doesn’t require repeating. By the way, he’s a great husband too.
Thank you, Captain TLW. You’re a great man.
Man up!
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there! I hope that you took the opportunity to be with your children, and children, I hope you took some time to be with your Dad today. May God bless all fathers and encourage them to be a great dad today. Let us pray for all the father-child relationships out there that are in turmoil, struggling or estranged. Let us pray for children who have lost their father. Let us pray for the males who haven’t taken responsibility for their children. Let us pray in thanksgiving for all the great dads of the world. Let us pray that everyone would learn to see God the Father as a loving Daddy.
The image (left) depicts St Joseph; he is our best saintly guide to what True Fatherhood and TrueManhood is all about. After all, the child Jesus learned everything he knew from his earthly father. Joseph was incredibly virtuous, especially possessing the virtues of faith and love. In this picture, we can see the tender and loving touch that he has for his child. He is carrying lilies in this case, instead of his normal carpenter’s (worker’s) tools. He carries lilies to signify his purity; we refer to St Joseph as “The Most Chaste Spouse” of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Take some time to learn more about St Joseph so that you can learn more about what manliness is all about.
I’ve had an absolutely great day (weekend, actually!). On Saturday, we went to Mass, my wife cooked my favorite Italian food, gave me some gifts (Steelers’ tickets!!!) and planned a bike trip to one of our favorite parks in the city. Today was absolutely beautiful with warm sunny blue skies. Everyone should be as lucky as me.
Here’s a little cartoon I found. I hope your dad is like this kid’s dad and I hope your kids see their dad like this kid sees his dad.
Man up!
The Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know
I recently received a birthday card from my parents; the words are meaningful and profound.
“When a Man has a Good Heart and lets it Guide Him –
When He Seeks what is True and Strives to Live by it –
When He Understands His own Gifts and does His Best to Share Them –
That Man does Himself and All Those who Love Him Proud.”
…To the Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know…
Man up!
Summer Time Spirituality
Since many of TrueManhood’s readers are in college, I think it’s important to take some time to talk about a spiritual life during the summer months. Many of you have a strong faith community and spiritual support system while on campus and many of you are heading home (or at least away from your group) for the summer; how do you keep a strong spiritual life going? Well, it’s easy to get back into old, bad habits when you go back into an old environment. Some of those old, bad habits might be as simple as forgetting to pray everyday. They might be more serious (with lasting effects on the rest of your life) like excessive drinking and promiscuous sexual activity. That said, here are a few suggestions of how to keep your spiritual life going – and growing!
- Pray daily. Take time (whichever part of the day is best for you) to make this a priority. As with any relationship, it requires that you speak and listen to the other person. God, in this regard, is no different. Talk to Him.
- Make Sunday Mass a priority, and get to daily Mass as much as possible. The grace received from the Eucharist will help you fight temptations toward old, bad habits.
- Stay in touch with your friends from campus. (Your good friends – NOT your nasty friends.) A support/accountability/prayer connection helps a person significantly. We are relational beings – created to be with one another. Your friends want to help you, so talk to them. It’ll probably end up helping them too.
- Do spiritual reading. Find one or more (good/orthodox) Catholic spiritual books and read. This might also include taking notes, journaling about what you read and/or about how it applies to your life or talking about it with someone else.
- Do your best to keep Christ first and foremost. I listed this last, but it’s not the least priority, but yet the highest priority. I write about Christ last so that you remember that it’s all about Him. Keep Him #1.
Man up!
