A Dating Tip, or Two
The other day, I posted the “Superman Dates” video clip. I got a little bit of feedback on it, and felt like it was important to talk about some other aspects of dating, for both ladies and guys.
Ladies: what I am about to say is always true, in every situation, no matter what. YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. You do. You deserve a man who respects you, who serves you, who cherishes you, who believes and demonstrates that there is no one more important or special for him and you deserve a man who puts his full energy and attention into your relationship. If he doesn’t, then he’s not good enough for you. Plain and simple. If he doesn’t care enough to do the little things in a dating relationship, why would anyone ever expect him to start caring when you are married? Or when times get tough? Or when you have kids? The little things he does/doesn’t do while dating are foreshadowing his future behavior.
It’s also vitally important that you set you standards high, from the beginning. If you wait until you’re in a relationship to create a list of “must haves” it will be incredibly difficult to see beyond the emotion, history and investment of your current relationship. Once you create your list, don’t stray from it. (Add to it, but don’t stray from it.) If you grow, mature and change as a person, your list can change with you, as long as it’s what best for you and your future.
If all the women in the world increased their standards (and wouldn’t compromise on them) it would force men to change their behavior. Now, I’m not saying that it’s the fault of females that men can be bad in relationships or in society or that they don’t know what it means to be a TrueMan. What I’m saying is that if women were to have a standard and keep it, that men would have to check their crass, immature, childish, destructive behavior at the door and make positive choices to raise themselves up to be worthy of dating a woman. Ladies, you hold the power to make your future bright by choosing a man that deserves you because you know that you deserve the very best.
Guys: I’ll most likely get into our part of the dating world in upcoming posts, but for now, read through the ladies’ section and check yourself. If a woman had a list, would your actions, choices and behavior warrant you being selected as “sufficient”? If not, think about things you can do to change so that when “the one” comes along, you’re ready to treat her like your queen.
Man up!
Pontius Pilate, What You Did Was NOT Manly
I thought several times throughout Holy Week, as well as when I watched “The Passion of the Christ” on Friday night, that Pontius Pilate (pronounced pon-chus pi-lot) was not manly in his decisions to condemn Jesus to death. He tried, yes, at first, to tell the people that Jesus had done nothing wrong. Where he went wrong was when he worried about what sort of uprising the Jewish high priests would start and what the people would do. He let self-preservation win out over justice.
He’s infamously remembered by Catholics in our Creed (our profession of faith) “…He (Jesus) suffered under Pontius Pilate…“. This is because Pilate had the power to prevent Christ’s horrible torture, scourging, carrying of His cross and His death, but failed to act; all out of fear. He was a coward. Even the movie “The Passion of the Christ” (picture above from a scene with Pilate and Jesus) shows Pilate’s wife as a hero and a servant, with compassion and deep sorrow while Pilate simply looks on, worried about himself. Pilate leaves us with a good example of what not to do.
Christ tells us that we’ll be persecuted because of Him, because we follow Him and because we love Him. We should be ready and prepared to persevere. We prepare for this by training (prayer and fasting, mostly). When it comes down to it, who will you side with? Will you take the easy way out and deny Christ or will you stand firm in your beliefs, in your faith and in HIS love and witness for Jesus? Only time will tell.
Again, society tells men that we must look out for ourselves and self-preservation. Christ, the Church and TrueManhood.com say something different. We all say “defend Christ, defend Mother Church, defend Truth” – God will provide for us and will raise us up on the last day. A True Man does this. A man like Pontius Pilate doesn’t. What kind of man are you?
Man up!
What Does it Mean to Be Manly?
I came across a few videos today on YouTube that were a bit frustrating to watch. I’m not posting them here because 1. they are frustrating 2. they are inappropriate for my site and 3. I don’t want to promote the males that made these videos. What I found in these videos was a misconstrued image of manliness, but not in the normal sense (aka – “cultural manliness”, as I refer to it –> money, power, women, stuff…) but in a sense of bashing overly manly activities, ideas, thoughts and practices. Taking it to the other extreme; calling men to be more feminine. Yuck.
Let me make it clear to the readers of this blog what I mean when I say words like MANLY, MANLINESS, TRUEMAN, TRUEMANHOOD, etc. In essence, I mean virtue. In none of the three videos that sparked this post did they ever mention anything about virtue. It might get old hearing about virtue, and yes, I write about it frequently, but virtue = manliness. TrueManliness. Plain and simple.
Others can blog/vlog about whatever they want, but when it comes to talking about manliness, they aren’t my compass. My compass points are Christ and St. Joseph, combined with other saints and men who are alive (both literally and figuratively) in the faith. These men live(d) out “the greatest of these” – Love. Prudence, Temperance, Justice, Fortitude, Faith, Hope and Love. Live them.
If you would like a copy of some virtue materials, contact TrueManhood.com at proveritasspeakers@gmail.com.
Man up!
The Don't Song
Another video I stumbled across one day. Although these guys are doing parody, it’s true.
Man up!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lv8745InI]
Things You Don't Say to Your Wife
I thought I’d take it funny today. Make sure you heed these words. Tim Hawkins… clean, funny comedian. Check him out HERE.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK2OakMoW_c]
Man up!
7 Days of Virtue; Day 7 – Love
Think of virtues like your muscles. You work your muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed. Virtue is the same way. You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.
Day 7 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 7 – LOVE.
Love, also called charity, is the form of all virtue. Love is friendship with God and love leads us to God. An important aspect of love is that it is a verb; it requires action from us. To perform acts of love, we must surpass our own abilities; we require supernatural grace. (Supernatural = super –> beyond… natural –> nature… beyond our nature.)
Society often tells us that love is something that we get, instead of something we give. We’re often told to seek it for our good, instead of the good of another. This leads us to selfishness and seeking our our passions, desires and wants. Instead, we should love unconditionally, especially our spouse and our children – making a freely given gift of ourselves and our lives. Love brings us:
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Joy – seeing love in others.
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Peace – right relations, when we are united (or under reconciliation)
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Mercy – a compassionate heart for another’s unhappiness. (The greatest virtue in relation to others.)
Love also occurs in:
- Passion – the desire for something.
- Natural virtue – when you want what is best for someone else.
- Theological virtue – the Holy Spirit dwelling in us.
Man up!
7 Days of Virtue; Day 4 – Temperance
Think of virtues like your muscles. You work your muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed. Virtue is the same way. You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.
Day 4 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 4 – TEMPERANCE.
Temperance moderates our attraction to pleasure. This can be any form of pleasure… physical, emotional, sexual, mental, spiritual, etc. There is an opposing vice that we should stay away from… insensibility (the complete rejection of any pleasure). Pleasure, in and of itself, is not bad, as long as it is ordered and moderated. There are three major vices that go along with temperance that we all deal with, in one way or another; it is NOT manly to indulge in these sins!
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Gluttony – inordinate consumption of food and/or drink. If they need a fork lift to come get you from the booth to your car, you ate too much. We are incredibly guilty of this in America with our portion sizes. A way to fight gluttony is by fasting.
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Drunkenness – hinders our reason. Drinking to excess means that we are willingly depriving ourselves of our reason (St. Thomas Aquinas). A HUGE problem in our culture. Men, drunkenness is not manly. Being able to stop after 1 or 2 drinks is manly and it doesn’t just mean you do this when you are driving. This is at home, at a party, with a DD, where ever. Losing all ability to think, function, act and control yourself is cowardly. Be a man, put the drink down.
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Lust – is destructive and causes harm. Sex, like fire, is a good thing – in context. If a fire gets out of control, it destroys. If it is used how it is intended, it gives off warmth and can be used to cook. Sex is the same way… if we make the choice to be chaste, we are ordering our sexuality in the way that God intended. Don’t be fooled by society, lust is destructive. Everyone’s NOT doing it – there are those of use who strive for it who are living chaste lives, even in our marriages. St. Thomas Aquinas said: “A man who gives into his lust has weaknesses. From this weakness means that he will give into his passions. He is not free to love.” Are you weak? Be virtuous, control your sexuality, don’t let it control you.
Temperance guides us so that we do not fall into these sins. Being temperate means that we know when enough is enough, too much or sinful.
Man up!
