A TrueMan is Virtuous – the start to a 7 day look at Virtue
***My apologies for the delay in posting over the past few days, I was on retreat all weekend and away from technology.***
Virtue (in Latin: virtus) means manliness. In order to truly be manly, we must possess virtue. Virtue means having the “firm and habitual disposition to do the good”. If a man possesses the virtue of Courage, that means that he’s courageous 1. with joy 2. with ease 3. promptly and 4. consistently. Every time, without fail. In order for a man to gain virtue, he must practice. He must also ask for God’s grace to help him acquire virtue. (Note: women can attain virtue as well, and it doesn’t mean that they become manly.)
I’m kicking off a 7 day look at virtue, starting tomorrow. I’ll dive into each of the 4 Cardinal Virtues and each of the 3 Theological Virtues, one each day. Prudence, Justice, Fortitude & Temperance and Faith, Hope & Love. If you want to be a TrueMan, become a virtuous man.
Man up!
Lenten Devotion – A Prayerful Man
Often times, society tells us that prayer is for women, young children and hermit-type religious folks. Not true. In order for all of us to know God, we must converse with Him. It simply wouldn’t work to not speak to my wife for weeks-on-end and expect things to be okay between us. The same goes for us and God. We MUST stay in constant conversation with God. It’s like any other relationship, it takes bothparties to be in relation with one another. God has proved to remain faithful (He has made many covenants with us, His people), we are the ones that must change our behavior and devote time to Him in prayer.
Men, be careful to not fall into the modern idea that prayer/spirituality is a feminine characteristic. Females have a beautiful spirituality, but that doesn’t usually work for us. (There’s a reason why most of the Mystics of the Church are women.) For me, my prayer life reflects my demeanor, my personality and my outlook; it’s rugged, straightforward and unwaveringly positive. Most of my prayer reflects my need for Christ as a fallen, sinful man working at changing for the better. It also reflects knowledge that our faith is the Truth and the fullness of it. It’s important that your prayer life and spirituality reflect who you are, because like in any relationship, both parties need to honest, open and real. It won’t work if you try to have someone else’s spirituality. The great news here is that there’s at least one Saint who you can emulate, one Saint that was like you. Find that Saint and follow them to Christ.
Man up!
Celebrity Apprentice – Season 2
Are you familiar with Donald Trump? The multi-billionaire business man that created the show “The Apprentice”. Although he’s very good at what he does in business, he’s not the example of TrueManhood. He’s at it again, this time season two of Celebrity Apprentice. This show has been getting some big press and, as in years past, gains traction throughout the season. Season two started last night, although I didn’t watch it, I found this commercial clip for it. Watch…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90zttzBDhZs]
I can’t begin to count the bad examples of manhood throughout the show… I can’t even keep up with them in this short one minute promo. Clint Black is “ready to go the wild side”, Pierce Morgan (altough he proclaims to be a Catholic-family man) is a crude, rude, pompous, arrogant man. Don’t even get me started on Rodman or Andrew Dice Clay. Tom Green is “stabbing people in the back”, and wearing wedding dresses on the street corner. We hear Trump say, as he flies around in his private helicopter, “It’s all about fighting for what you believe in.” I’m not sure what any of these celebrities believe in.
The show isn’t horrible, overall, as most of the money that is raised goes to (mostly) worthy charities. So, there’s at least one good part to it. It’s not at all what TrueManhood is about. If you can stomach it, watch an episode on nbc.com and see what you think. Are any of these men setting an example of TrueManhood or are they fulfilling society’s idea of “cultural manliness”? You decide.
Man up!
Lenten Devotion – Selflessness
We took an amazing trip to San Luis, Colorado yesterday. There, among the high-desert plain and the rock-covered mountains, stands the Shrine to the Stations of the Cross. It’s a marvelous experience, hiking up the mountain side, following the footsteps of Jesus; from his death-sentencing until He resurrects from the tomb. We had a group of 34 people, led by Fr Joe and Deacon Bob.
As we walked the rocky ground, contemplating the weight of the cross beam on Jesus’ shredded back (shredded from the scourging at the pillar),I was in awe of just how difficult Christ’s journey must have been. And while contemplating the journey, I realized that I’m simply not selfless enough. He gave everything for me (and you), yet, I’m still prone to selfish desires and self-serving interests.
The culture wants men to believe that it’s all about them; their needs, their desires. That a man can plow through any innocent bystander if they impede his progress of attaining his goal(s). Get get get, take take take – never worrying about taking anyone out along the way. Being self-serving is actually self-reliance, self-defense and self-preservation – they say. In reality, a man should be self-denying, self-sacrificing and self-giving. He is called to attend to the needs of others before his own. He is called to defend, protect and build up, even if it means blood, sweat and tears. A True Man follows Christ’s example.
Man up!
Dependability & Follow Through
Lately, I’ve had a few experiences that have been incredibly frustrating. These experiences are based on how dependable other men have been and what sort of follow through these men have shown.
The first experience happened yesterday. I received an email from a young man who had committed to assisting me with a project. His expertise is an area that I am not-at-all proficient in and I was looking forward to actually delegating these certain “expert” tasks on to someone else… especially someone who knew what they were doing. Well, yesterday, 2 days before the project, this guy flaked. He bailed. He decided that something else was more important and he bailed. Since he was referred to me, I didn’t know what sort of dependability he had, but obviously I know now. He agreed (gave his word) that he’d be there and now, he’s not going to be. Thanks a lot bro.
The second experience happened earlier this week. It was a similar situation (someone flaked) and now I have to be resourceful to pick up the slack. That’s okay, I always am. This situation only became a problem because a young man decided to speak out of turn, promise a service that he couldn’t provide and then try to slyly back out. Guess what?… I’m not buying his story. Thanks a lot bro.
The problem here is that I SHOULD have been able to count on these two guys. I SHOULD have been able to take their word and count on them following through. I SHOULD have been able, once they gave me their word, to assume that their piece would be taken care of. Instead, they split on me and now I am left picking up their slack. This is one of the reasons why I’m always so reluctant to delegate my responsibilities onto other folks. Character flaw of mine, I guess. If you give your word, mean it and follow through. A True Man gives his word and follows through.
Man up!
Security in Purity – A Message to Women
So many women in our society (especially young women) have a lack of self-worth and a deeply rooted insecurity in who they are. They want to fit in, be accepted and ultimately, receive love. This sometimes (more often than not these days) leads to dressing inappropriately and engaging in promiscuous sexual relationships — all in the name of finding love. They think that in order for a man to think they’re attractive, to be excited by them and to love them, they must “put out”. [After all, they are being fed lies from this menu everyday by society.] The problem arises that this simply is not real, lasting love, and the feelings of insecurity and perpetual emptiness persist. It pains me to see young women who think this way because they should be thinking the exact opposite… that they are an amazing and precious creation from God the Father and that they should never settle for anything less than the best. A man is only worthy to be in their presence if he upholds their dignity and shows them the utmost respect. Women deserve better than what they are typically given and owe it to themselves to require a True Man.
If you are a woman that struggles with self-worth and insecurity, please take my words to heart. You are worth nothing less than the best. You are worth being in a relationship with a man who loves you (real love), who adores you and who respects you. You don’t have to have sex with him before marriage… if he really loves you, he’ll wait for you. (If he’s a True Man and really loves you, he’ll want to wait for you because you’re that special!) When it comes to the way you dress, you describe to men what you are seeking by the way you dress. If you wear something revealing, it tells a man “I want to reveal myself to you”. *Keep in mind the distinction between dressing attractively and dressing to attract. If you want to draw in the right type of man, dress with respect and purity. You’ll find real security, love and worth if you seek purity. You are worth it.
For the women out there that are confident and content in who they are, continue to be an example to women everywhere and continue to set the standard high for what men should be striving for. Never lower your standards.
When a Man Loves a Woman
You know those relationships where you can tell, no matter how long a couple has been married, that they really love one another? I had the opportunity this weekend to experience one of these relationships first hand for the past 5 days out on the east coast. My wife’s aunt and uncle celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary this year and from the looks of it, they have an incredibly strong marriage… I believe it’s because of how much he loves his wife. He’s one of those men (a True Man, in my book) that treats his wife with an incredible amount of respect and genuine love. He’s set an amazing example for their son and for everyone else out there who watches them interact.
You and I have seen the opposite… relationships where the man is unloving, ungrateful, unsupportive and so on. A relationships like that is not what men need to see. We need True Men to set the standard high, to challenge other men to something better and, also incredibly important, we need women to expect this genuine kind of love and to never settle for less.
