Google Might be Out, but Porn is Still In

In a story that started buzzing yesterday, Porn Harms reported that Google has agreed to stop advertising sexually explicit material.  Here’s a story from Breitbart.com.  I’m glad to hear this news, but I realize that it’s merely a small (tiny, miniscule, maybe even irrelevant?) step in the fight against internet pornography.  On a positive note, they have removed all of their pornography apps from the Google Play store, a very positive step forward!

It wouldn’t really matter if Google dropped, blocked, and deleted it from their services; porn is available.  It’s so available that it pops up when we don’t want it to, when we don’t expect it to, and in completely harmless situations, like when our children utilize the internet.  If you’re a man, there are countless things you can (and should) be doing to help prevent yourself from falling into the trap of internet pornography.  However, when children are involved, we can’t sit by acting as if nothing is happening, because it is.  The likelihood that your child, anywhere over the age of 3, has seen pornography in some form is astonishing.  Ignorance to this fact is never the answer.

The reality is that parents must teach their children the truths about porn, the human body, anatomy, and sexuality.  The only way to win back purity in our insane culture is to teach the truth and to teach it openly to everyone, including our children.  Age-appropriate education is vital.  There are various ways to talk to your children, starting at a very young age, about their bodies, about appropriate behavior and touch, about sexuality.  As children grow, that age-appropriate information changes, develops, and increases.  It is a misnomer to call any form of sex-ed “the talk”, as if it happens once.  Insteadof “the talk”, it should be “the on going series of education, information, encouragement, explanation, and truth about our bodies, sexuality, and reproductive organs”.  That series should include the appropriate information, and shouldn’t leave out the consequences of poor choices and poorly formed consciences.

Notice that I’m not saying that we should ban sex and never talk about it.  That obviously hasn’t worked.  The puritanical approach towards sexuality can’t last and causes rebellion.  Sexuality is too important, too special, and too powerful to suppress.  Notice, too, that I’m certainly not suggesting that we let our kids go hog-wild sexually, as if there’s no consequence to their choices.  Instead, just as the Church teaches in Her infinite wisdom, we should embrace human sexuality, with full-knowledge of the purpose and plan, and interact within that intended purpose.  Freedom exists there.

I’ve come across many parents as I’ve taught on this topic, and as I’ve presented at parishes across the country.  My presentation “Helping Parents Protect Their Children from the Internet and Technology” has shown me that many more parents need to know the truth, be equipped with resources and information, and be instructed on how to talk to their kids.  It’s never too late, but that doesn’t mean you should continue to wait.  Parents – have the conversations with your kids, and do it today.  Oh, and Dads… this isn’t Mom’s job.  It’s your job.  Do it.

TrueMan up!

My Jesus Year

Jesus lived for 33 years.  During His time on earth, Jesus saved the world.  Pretty huge shoes to fill – impossible shoes to fill, actually.  I’ve just celebrated my 33^rd birthday.  During this, my “Jesus-year”… hopefully NOT my last year on earth… I will remain focused on true manhood.

During my life, I’ve been incredibly blessed.  I’m married to a great woman, the mother of my four incredible children.  I have, and have had many, a great job.  I’ve been to 49 of the 50 states in our spectacular country.  I’ve successfully completed 18 years of schooling.  I played college sports.  I’ve bought and sold homes and vehicles.  I’ve met countless numbers of awesome people, and have some of the world’s best friends.  I’ve spoken to thousands and thousands of people, been on numerous radio programs, and helped write a book.  Although these and so many others neat things have happened to me, none of it matters if I don’t attempt to fulfill God’s call for my life, the call to live true manhood.  It’s not about these worldly accomplishments; it’s about who I am and how I’ve lived.

Jesus was THE TrueMan.  Simply put, all that Christ did can be reduced to one simple concept… love.  That is the prevailing mark of a TrueMan… that he loves (verb).  In the most authentically masculine way, Christ loved.  That’s because He was, is, and always will be love.  This isn’t some lame modern-day version of teddy bears, glittery hearts, and boxes of chocolates.  This is the real version of love, to do the greatest good.  To give your life for your friends.  This is TrueManhood.

During this year, I pray that I’ll be able to grow as a husband first (my vocation), as a father, as a leader, and as an evangelist.  I also hope to accomplish some long-standing goals for this ministry.  To follow in Christ’s footsteps and make this year the best it can be.  My impact won’t save the world, but I hope that it, in even a small way, is able to positively influence the lives of men.  One of my goals is to expand TrueManhood’s retreat ministry.  I also have the goal of expanding our scope and reach, gaining back ground that was lost between 2011-2013.  The problems we discuss here are numerous, and there aren’t enough positive voices out there in this fight.  We’ll keep doing what we do, hopefully with “bigger and badder” videos, more impactful content, more frequent posts, more guest contributors, and a wide-array of resources to help men along their journey towards TrueManhood.

Regardless of how old we are, brothers, we are called to TrueManhood.  This call is something special, and the world depends on us to live up to the call.  As I go into my Jesus year, I’m praying for many things, but specifically, my prayer would be this: “Jesus, my Lord.  I love you.  Thank you for your example to me for what it means to be a man.  I ask for guidance, strength, discipline, and courage to pursue TrueManhood with my whole soul.  May my efforts be yours, may my will be yours, may my heart be yours.  Amen.”

TrueMan up!

Homosexuals, Homophobes, Homosapiens – The Third Way

Recently, several dynamic Catholic speakers teamed up to teach the actual, the real, the reasonable, and the true belief that Catholics hold regarding same-sex attraction.  The video, called “The Third Way”, is posted below.  The video is about 35 minutes long, but well worth the time.

Important Notes:

1. Catholics believe that homosexuality is a sin.  People are not homosexuals, acts are homosexual.  People are people.
2. The proper term, instead of “homosexual”, is a person with same-sex attraction (SSA).  This describes the person who wrestles with (or struggles with, gives into, indulges in, etc.) homosexual acts.
3. Same-sex attraction is a disorder (meaning it goes against the natural law) and should be avoided, as should all other disorders.
4. Catholics believe that every single solitary person has innate value, no matter what their disorder(s) may be, and should be loved.
5. Catholics love people, even if they indulge in sinful behavior.  Love the sinner, hate the sin.
6. The Catholic faith isn’t homophobic, individual people might be.  I am not.  See #4.
7. All persons are called to chastity (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2337.)
8. Simply because people who profess to be Catholic have acted or spoken improperly about the subject does not negate the teachings found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs 2357-2359.
9. TrueMen support, inspire, encourage, and challenge other males with SSA.
10. The Catholic Church offers support and encouragement to individuals with SSA through a group called Courage, as well as support groups for family/friends of individuals with SSA called Encourage.

This is, obviously, a very complex issue and widely discussed.  It would not be possible to write about every aspect, and I’m not intending to do so.  The bottom line… love people!

Here’s the video:

TrueMan up!

The Third Way from Blackstone Films on Vimeo.

Book Dave to Speak

Dave DiNuzzo Sr. is currently booking dates to speak at conferences, parishes, college campuses, and retreats.  He has been speaking to crowds of all different sizes and kinds, spreading the message of Jesus Christ, since he was a teenager.  As a Catholic husband and father of 4, Dave utilizes his experiences as a speaker, Theology teacher, Author, Blogger, Podcaster, Radio host, and retreat master to bring audiences along through catechetical topics while infusing stories, inspiration, and real life into his talks.  He wants to invigorate your group in a deep and authentic way.  Contact him today!

To book Dave to speak at your event, email ContactUs@TrueManhood.com.

TrueManhood More Realistic with the Help of Good Women

I’m striving for TrueManhood.  TrueManhood is what all men are called to, a life of virtue as an imitation of Jesus Christ, the TrueMan.  It is the most fulfilling life a man can live.  I strive, but I am far from perfect.  I fail to live up to TrueManhood, and have a long road towards virtuous living.  This lifestyle is difficult, but it is realistic, and it is achievable.  To my point, TrueManhood is much more realistic with the help of good women.

This is my Mother’s Day post for 2014.  It has been interesting, for me, as I became a father and my children grow older, the shift that has taken place surrounding Mother’s Day.  The focus of Mother’s Day, for husbands of mothers of small children, is no longer on their own mother (although we are still grateful and appreciative – Happy Mother’s Day Mom!) but rather is derived from the family’s appreciation and admiration, thanksgiving for, and efforts of “Mommy.”  This focus, it seems to me, is led heavily by those things specifically from the father’s point of view.  The small children aren’t necessarily capable of intentionally creating, buying, or delivering thoughtful, sentimental, meaningful gifts or performing acts of gratitude, so the responsibility lands on that of the father.

I am notorious for getting the wrong gift, things my wife never asked for, indicated that she wanted, or has any use for.  (Not all of my gifts are horrible, just most of them!)  I lack originality and romance, sentimentality and thoughtfulness.  It is a crippling affliction.  This year, I’m writing this post as an attempt at a textual monument to my wife, the mother of my four beautiful children.  Words cannot begin to explain.  She is a true servant, compassionate, and tender, and incredibly thoughtful.  One of my favorite characteristics of my wife is her intentionality; everything she does has a plan and is thought out and most importantly, purposeful.  In addition to those, she is never self-centered.  She challenges me in so many good ways to raise my level of living, and I am so grateful.

Catherine – you work tirelessly to support me in my endeavors, and are relentless in the rearing of our children.  They are incredible because you make them incredible.  They are lucky little kids, having you as their mother.  I’m the lucky man that gets to call you wife, best friend, and soul mate.  Thank you for all you do for us, we can never live up to your example, but will try our hardest. 

All of these things speak to the beauty of how men and women are complementary, and that complementarity works to build both sides.  For me personally, my wife’s complementarity is the greatest way for me to achieve TrueManhood.  She assists me, as my helpmate, to refine me, challenge me, and inspire me to be the man that I so badly want to be, and the man that she and my children deserve.  Because we are so intimately connected, as one flesh through our matrimony, her life is my life, and I am all the better because of it.

A single day for our mothers is almost a slap in the face, because there are no words, no amounts of gifts or money spent on them, nor thoughtfulness that we can put into anything for our mothers or for the mothers of our children that will even begin to compare to the love, sacrifice, and total self-gift that these women give, day in and day out.  As a small token, for all the mothers out there, please accept this small gesture of thanks.

TrueMan up!

Is a Bad Dad Better Than No Dad?

Recently, I had a discussion with a woman on the topic of fatherhood. During our conversation, she was adamant that a child having a bad father in the picture is better than no father.  I disagree with her, but understand at a basic level why she would believe this.  I also sympathize with her, aware that her situation was extremely difficult to bear.  Now that I’ve given it more thought, I think she may have been combining some thoughts together, associating a bad father with a father who is at least present.

If having a bad father in their life simply means that the child can feel a sense of acceptance and that someone desires them, then maybe I could agree with her.  However, being a child requires, and makes us yearn for, much more.  [Here’s a powerful clip from “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” – the other videos in the playlist can’t be removed, sorry.]

Things to keep in mind: “bad” here is used not as an extreme word, but merely as a way to describe a man who is not living up to his role as father, even in the basic sense.  Call it judgmental (that would be a misuse of the word) or hateful, but at some point, we have to call a spade a spade.  A bad father isn’t present to his children, does not give them encouragement, nor inspiration, nor assistance, nor guidance, nor education.  A bad father lacks affection, affirmation, recognition, and compassion, and he shows no mercy.  Essentially, a bad father is the opposite of everything that God the Father is and that which a good father should strive for.

I wrote a post not too long ago, with a video, about my nephew (and his siblings.)  In the post, I discussed how his father was in the picture, but how his involvement is detrimental, and how these kinds of situations require other men to step in and be the father figures that children need.  Maybe there’s an element of timing in this discussion… for instance, the time in a child’s life may dictate whether or not a bad father’s presence is beneficial.  I’m sort of just writing my jumbled up thoughts right now because I really don’t know.  Maybe too, it depends on each kid.  Perhaps it is best that a bad father isn’t around in the teen years, but during the adolescent years?  (We should get this discussion going on the TrueManhood.com Facebook page.)

As I’ve written and said many times, our children learn from us, good or bad.  If we fail as fathers, our children will learn that fatherhood and/or masculinity is something other than what it actually is – believing that our failure is normal and acceptable.  I do not believe that we can substitute authentic masculinity when it comes to our children – they need to know it, be surrounded by it, and be taught it so that they are able to thrive in life.  TrueManhood is one of the most basic tenants of humanity, and literally as old as mankind.

So I pose a thought for you to consider… is it better for a child to have a bad father in their life or to have no father present at all?  I’m sure that we can all agree that children with great dads are always best off.  I’m certainly striving to be a great dad for my kids, won’t you strive to give that to your kids, too?

TrueMan up!

A TrueMan Fighting the Pro-Life Fight

There’s no question in my mind that abortion is a man’s issue.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… if males were handling our business, women wouldn’t feel the need for abortion.  If we want the issue of abortion to go away, and for women, men, and children to receive healing, we must step up and fight.

One of my friends, my buddies, my other-brother-from-Our-Blessed-Mother is on the front lines of this battle, and I want to highlight him, his wife, his kids, and the people who are, literally, running along side him.  This man has a new role that he’s gearing up for as President of the Vitae Foundation, and on top of all of that, he is one of our nation’s heroes, an officer in the United States Air Force.

This man’s name is Lt. Col Pat Castle, PhD., and I’m blessed to know him and call him ‘brother’.  Several years ago, Pat and a few of his closest friends started a pro-life running ministry called “LIFE Runners“.  LIFE Runners has gone worldwide and has runners all over the place; running, praying, and raising money to end abortion.  It’s so powerful, they even convinced my non-running-self to run in the inaugural A+Cross America Relay.

Pat is relentless in his pursuits!  He is first and foremost a son of God, and a great husband, and a great father, and with great passion that never stops he is relentless in fighting the evil of abortion.  Vitae has honored him with the new role as President of the foundation, a great honor and a perfect spot for him to land after his long and illustrious Air Force career.  (Read about Pat and his VF role.)  Pat retires at the end of the month.

If you want to be inspired, and encouraged as a man who is willing to fight abortion, I’d get involved with Vitae, join LIFE Runners, and get Pat’s emails.  Everytime I hear from him, see something he posts, or see the aftermath that he leaves behind (GOOD aftermath!), I am undoubtedbly inspired.  Pat’s energy and efforts are effective.  There is no wasting time, no messin’ around… he gets the job done.

For all that you do and especially for the TrueMan that you are, HIGH FIVE to you, Pat!

TrueMan up!

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