Out with the “Grey”, In with the “Old”
January 27, 2015 by admin
Filed under Blog, cultural manliness, manliness, pornography, Virtue
Undoubtedly, you’ve heard of the self-proclaimed “worldwide phenomenon”, “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Whether it is in reference to the book series, various off-shoot parodies, re-enactments, productions, products, and so on, or the upcoming film, you’ve heard it. I wonder, though, how many people actually know what all the hype is about. If you’re not really up on the details, the facts will likely shock you.
Fifty Shades is, in a brief description, rape porn and BDSM porn. BDSM, for those who may not know, is an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. This is also known by such names as slave porn, torture porn, domination porn, and so on. [Any male believing that he is in control of reality, making a good decision, or ‘treating a woman right’ by these sorts of acts is greatly misled.] Why then, is this series of books and now the upcoming movie (not to mention all of the “adult novelties” for sale based on the books) so popular, especially among women??? It boggles the mind, and clearly shows the broken nature of our world. Folks are looking for authentic love, yet receiving a drastic counterfeit.
Does this definition sound like a free, total, faithful, fruitful gift of self to another, or something opposite?
I think it’s important to point out that “50” depicts violent porn as glamorous – a lie that most pornographers want the consumer to believe. It’s ultimately the consumption of the lie of “Cultural Manliness” by women, believing that males like character Christian Grey are what they should be looking for in a man. I assure you, he is not. “50” wants you to believe that what’s happening in the story (stalking, dominance, rape, and various other forms of dangerous and degrading sad0-masochistic sex) is normal, acceptable, and even beneficial to relationships. How people believe these lies are beyond me, but obviously they do.
On February 14th, the Feast of St. Valentine, the movie form of “50” will be released in all markets. I highly encourage all of my readers and supporters to 1. boycott the film and 2. have an open and concerned conversation with others in your life who may go to the film. Support of this movie is in direct conflict with the Gospel Message. Exploitation of individuals, especially women, and the degradation of human sexuality is absolutely sinful and should be avoided at all costs. If you’re looking for an alternative, and want to support mainstream films that uphold human dignity and wholesome entertainment, please consider attending “Old Fashioned – the Movie” instead, also opening in theaters on February 14th.
I was recently invited to privately screen the film, and overall, I enjoyed it. I made a date night out of the event with my wife, getting some of her favorite movie-foods, and creating a little “home theater” for us. The film is a depiction of a man who, after turning away from a life of debauchery and exploitation, has chosen to have standards for himself and for any potential mate moving forward, for the goodness of his and her soul. He is seen by other characters in the film as being “stuffy”, “prudish”, and, well… “old fashioned” (hence, the name of the film.) I was impressed enough to encourage you to see it especially as an alternative against “50”. Here’s the trailer:
Additionally, there is a responsibility here, for men to step to the plate and protect humanity. Personally, should our local community-run theater choose to show this film, which I have already formally requested that they not do, I will likely be forced to take further action. Let us pray that this does not happen.
For me and mine, we say “Out with the ‘Grey’, and In with the ‘Old’.”
TrueMan up!
If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction to porn, download my “5 Step Guide to Overcoming an Addiction to Pornography & Masturbation” for free.
A TrueMan’s Marriage
I just learned that February 7-14 is National Marriage Week. I guess it’s fitting, with Valentine’s Day and all those commercialized red hearts. Sort of cliche, if you ask me. But, nonetheless, it is a real thing. Even the US Catholic Bishops are behind this. I’m putting this out now, a few days ahead, so you can get thinking, planning, and doing!
I’m all for marriage. It is an incredible blessing to be a married man. It challenges me, no doubt… but at the end of the day, and hopefully at the end of my life, I will be sanctified because of it. There’s really nothing like giving your whole self to someone else for your entirety here on earth. Something to ponder, for sure.
To consider where you are with things in your marriage, or if you aren’t married, to maybe consider what you want in your future marriage, here’s a blurb from the USCCB website on National Marriage Week:
February: A Time To Celebrate Love And Marriage
It’s the month of romance! Here are a couple February events to celebrate love and marriage:
“Let’s Strengthen Marriage” is the theme of National Marriage Week, Feb. 7-14, 2012. National Marriage Week, now in its third year, is a collaborative effort to promote marriage as a benefit to husbands, wives and the community, as well as the best environment in which to raise children. Resources for couples and organizations who want to promote marriage are available on the website.
World Marriage Day will be observed on Sunday, February 12. For more than 30 years this Day has been promoted by Worldwide Marriage Encounter. If you’re looking for resources that your parish can use to celebrate World Marriage Day, check out the WWME website.
In honor of National Marriage Week and World Marriage Day, here are three FAQs that the website frequently responds to.
(1) We just got engaged. Do you have any suggestions for tools that can help us to deepen our relationship?
First, congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Try starting with the Personality Audit. It’s a great way to understand yourself and your fiance(e) better. Family of origin issues arise in many marriages. Take the Family of Origin exercise to discover how your experiences growing up were similar or different. Most of us tend to avoid topics that are sensitive, or where we think we might disagree with our spouse or fiance(e). Here are some ideas for those “Must-Have Conversations” on such topics as intimacy, finances, and commitment.
(2) How can we find a marriage education or marriage enrichment class in our area?
Many organizations—religious and others—offer programs to help couples improve their marital skills. These classes can cover everything from communication and conflict resolution to budgeting and time management. To find a program in your area, try starting with the Smart Marriages directory of programs. Also check out the list of classes on the National Marriage Week website.
Another possibility is to contact your diocesan Family Life Office. For contact information, go to the Family Life Office locator on the homepage. Finally, many couples at all stages of marriage have benefitted from a Marriage Encounter weekend. For information go to the Worldwide Marriage Encounter website.
(3) My spouse and I are experiencing problems in our marriage. Where can we go for help?
First of all, check out the article “Finding Help When Your Marriage in Trouble.” It explains a range of options for couples who are experiencing marital difficulties. If you’re looking for a counselor, try asking your pastor or parish staff member for a recommendation. Many parishes maintain lists of counselors who deal with various issues. The counselor should have specific training and experience in marriage counseling. Many diocesan Catholic Charities offices offer counseling or can refer you. Contact information for Catholic Charities is usually available on the diocesan website.
Couples with serious problems may consider making a Retrouvaille weekend. Retrouvaille has a solid record of bringing couples back from the brink of divorce. Information about local Retrouvaille weekends is available on their website.
TrueMan up!
Chivalry Doesn't Make an Appearance on V-Day Night
I’m out on the east coast with family. We had no “romantic” plans for today because we’re with family. Our Valentine’s Day included lots of kids, eating, driving from points A to B to C and back to A. Along the way, we stopped outside a nice Italian restaurant (remaining unnamed) to pick up my sister-in-law’s “lost” cell phone from the night before. As we waited for 20 minutes outside this restaurant, I noticed a horrible trend taking place before my eyes. Couple after couple walked up to the restaurant doors, and only on a rare occasion, did the man open the door for his date/girlfriend/spouse. I also saw a number of them get into their vehicles, and only on one occasion did I see the man escort his significant other to their door and help them in. The worst was when the door actually slammed into a girl’s face because she wasn’t watching and because her date simply walked in the door and didn’t extend a hand to hold it open for her. I was appalled. This girl not only had a glass door for an appetizer, she went in and spent the rest of the night out with this loser! He was so self-consumed. I quickly turned around and told my oldest daughter, “If a man ever does that, and walks through a door before you, you turn right around and leave him in your dust.”
I think that women have the right to expect chivalry. I believe that a woman should never settle for less than a genuine gentleman. Don’t find yourself asking a woman to lower her standards so that you can be a slob. If a man can’t do something as simple as holding a door open, then he’ll never be able to do the big things in life. Require the most out of yourself and always live out chivalry, you never know who’s watching you.
Man up!
