Happy Feast of St. Joseph! The Man!
Happy Feast of St. Joseph! Every year, I grow in deeper understanding of how great St. Joseph was. The man was chosen to be the “Most Chaste Spouse” of Mary the Mother of God AND God-made-man’s adoptive father. What a role to fill! I looked back at what I wrote about St. Joseph last year and thought it would be good to post here again. Enjoy the feast day!
“…Eliud, the father of Eleazar. Eleazar became the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Messiah.”
Matthew Chapter 1 “The Genealogy of Jesus”.
Today (March 19) is the Feast of St. Joseph. St. Joseph was Jesus’ earthly foster father, the husband of Mary (Jesus’ mother) and a faithful Jewish man. We don’t know much about St. Joseph from Sacred Scripture, but we can deduce many things about his character, his demeanor and his effect on the world. For men, we should strive to be like St. Joseph – holy, upright, honest, hardworking and just. He was also a faithful man, a man of prayer and he allowed the Lord to work through his life. Can you imagine being selected by God to be the foster father of the Messiah? Obviously, Mary was selected as special by God to be the God-bearer (theotokos), why would God not also select a special man to be her husband and the protector of the God-bearer? He knew the role he was undertaking and accepted it whole-heartidly. He never failed to set the example of manliness for his son, Jesus. As we look to Christ to learn what He taught us, we must believe that He learned a great deal of what He knew from his earthly father, Joseph; therefore, telling us a great deal about Joseph.
As a father, I see characteristics in St. Joseph that I know I must possess. His example of virtue is second to none. In order to pass on faith, tradition and a legacy, I must first act out of love – setting the bar high for my children – so that my actions always precede my words and never contradict them. St. Joseph, the model for men – father, husband, man of faith and prayer, worker, protector, servant to the Lord. St. Joseph, pray for us.
Man up!
In Response – Not the Point
I recently received a comment on one of my posts, “That Blue One’s the Boy One”. The commentor, as you can read below in red, misses the point.
The color examples don’t make any sense. Attributing color to gender is arbitrary. It’s not an instinct. It’s learned. Before the 20th century, most babies were dressed in white because it could withstand hot washes. In the 1920’s in the US, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. Pink was considered a watered down shade of red, think blood and blue was considered dainty because it was the color of the sky and water. The French dressed girls in pink and the Germans dressed boys in pink. It’s meaningless. Think dresses are for girls? Not in this country. Most boys wore dresses in the late 1800’s because fabric was scarce and they grew out of pants too quickly. As for your “men and women are different” arguments, the scientific research has shown that there are more within-group differences than between-group differences for men and women aside from a few physiological differences. The reason that there is a difference is because society has created different rules for different genders. From looking around your website, I guarantee what I am writing won’t make a difference and you probably won’t give it a second thought, but it goes against everything that we know about our society. This site seems to be a giant amalgamation of stereotypical and baseless opinions. It is well-designed though and the layout is phenomenal. I hope that some healthier examples of masculinity, fatherhood and mentoring make their way to your site in the future.
Allow me to respond to Jerrod. First off, thanks for the comment. Secondly, you’re missing the point in the first half of your comment. It wasn’t about the color, which I clearly stated in my original post. You bring up some other points that need clarification.
- The “men and women argument” isn’t my argument. I’m merely stating what others (namely, John Paul the Great; one of the greatest philosophers and peacemakers in human history) have already worked out extensively. To say that there are “more within-group differences than between-group differences” is quite simply, false. Your scientific research is flawed. If you’d like to email me personally, I’m happy to take a look at what you are using as your source(s).
- What you wrote is very important to me. What you wrote is, in part, why I have this website. I’m interested in bringing to light the truths of manhood so that our society can return to a properly functioning society. As of now, in our post-modern society, we do not function properly as a whole. This is mainly because males fail to live up to TrueManhood. I’m working to change that. You say that my website “goes against everything we know about our society.” You’re correct, I’m working to fight the culture we live in. Sin rules our world, and in order for society to thrive, we must fight our tendency toward sin. To say “what we know about our society” implies that what our society does/thinks is correct. What we think is correct, is not. Our society needs conversion of heart to the source of life – Jesus Christ.
- As for the site being a “giant amalgamation of stereotypes and baseless opinions”, I disagree. My articles are based in Catholic truth, the fullness of truth. That’s a giant topic, so I don’t guess we can get into it here. I’m fighting the stereotypes of what is expected of males in our society – just read any of the articles I write about commercials we see. I’m guessing you probably haven’t really read many of my articles, or maybe that you don’t understand them. My apologies. And yes, while my articles are opinion, they are not baseless. My opinions are in line with the Church (many bishops and priests support my website) and are rooted in the understanding of virtue as a way of life. If you’re interested in reading more about virtue, type VIRTUE in the search box and get to reading – there’s lots there. Specifically, you can check out “TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue”.
- I appreciate the comments about the layout and design. I work hard to keep the sight going. (And, I’m always working on new stuff, and want more comments of what everyone is hoping for!)
- Finally Jerrod, from your last sentence, I’d like to know what you think is a “healthier example of masculinity, fatherhood and mentoring…” Thanks.
Man up!
The Death of Masculinity Article
I came across this post and thought it would be good to post. (Find it HERE.) It backs up what I write. Virtue men, virtue!
Man up!
Masculinity is dying a quick death. It is attacked from all sides, for example:
-Radical feminists say that being masculine is anti-woman.
-The feminized man is esteemed (esp. those who have a same sex attraction).
-Fathers are portrayed as blundering idiots in media.
It doesn’t help that some modern cultures (e.g., China , Muslim countries, etc) revere the masculine to the detriment of women, just as our own did not so long ago. This is a macho-only kind of mentality which is truly harmful (warning: graphic images) to women and girls.
So, what is a man to do? Our modern world swings between two extremes that both tear down true masculinity – on the one side is the overly-macho crap and on the other is the emasculated feminization of masculinity.
The answer lies in the root of the problem, which started “in the beginning.”
Adam was given the commission by God to “to cultivate and care for” the Garden of Eden and all that was in it (Gen 2:15). Adam messed up soon after. He fails to protect his wife, because he is a coward. He then blames his wife and in doing so he relinquishes his masculinity. Notice that after giving up his masculinity he quickly falls into lusting after his wife, which is why they have to cover themselves – to protect themselves from the lust of the other.
We still suffer from the same issues.
The modern man has also relinquished his masculinity by failing to have self-control. The modern man is an emasculated macho fool who has given in to his pornified passions and lives a sterile and contracepted life – he bears no fruit, literally and figuratively.
These issues are not only killing masculinity, they are also killing femininity. Because only when masculinity is truly lived properly will femininity flourish.
So, where do we start? We start with discovering what a real man is NOT:
A real man is not emasculated ninny.
Neither is a real man a testosterone infused sack of passions.
A real man is this -> a man who desperately seeks to follow in the footsteps of THE MAN.
He will be courageous in the face of danger.
He will fight for and maintain self control.
He will put to death his lusts.
He will be in control of his emotions and yet not afraid of them.
He will find himself in losing himself.
He is humble, but sure of the gifts God has given him.
He is gentle when he should be and rough when necessary.
He is a man of strength of character and his word means something.
He fulfills his promises.
He isn’t ashamed of his Lord or either of his mothers.
He will put life in the proper order – 1 – God; 2 – His wife (if he has one); 3 – His children (if he has them) 4 – Others; 5 – Himself
A real man isn’t afraid of his masculine traits, but embraces them as a gift from God. He doesn’t abuse them, but understands the way to use them in service of God and others.
It is time we men resurrect true masculinity.
Prove It
There’s an aspect to manliness that I haven’t mentioned on the site, to date, and I want to bring it into the fold. The aspect of “proving your manliness” is an underlying requirement to achieving TrueManhood. Throughout all of time, in great civilizations and in small, young boys have had to prove their ability to be considered a man by the rest of the men. Whether it was killing an animal, conquering a task, going on an adventure or enduring a trial of some sort, young boys weren’t considered a part of the group of men unless they accomplished the task. Proving one’s manliness is something that we have forgotten in America.
How can we get back to proving one’s manliness, especially in light of the requirements that our world puts out there for guys “to be manly”? How can we get back to this when what we talk about most on the site, in regards to TrueManhood, is virtue? I think the answer lies somewhere between the older men (fathers, grandfathers, senior men, etc.) setting an example of manliness and the young-to-middle-aged-men who have proven themselves as TrueMen to hold a standard of excellence as the requirements for boys and young men who have yet to prove themselves as TrueMen. 
Somewhere along the way, we let go of the standard of excellence and now we are faced with the cultural issues of boys acting as if life was a fast action, shoot ’em up movie or the opposite, where we have overly-effeminate males walking around aimlessly.
Why would proving manliness change anything? Well, if young boys/men knew that they had to prove their manliness (note: this must happen through a rigorous process of proving that their actions are consistently ordered towards the good) before they could ask a girl on a date, before they could have a job, before they could have any responsibility, etc. I think it would greatly change the level of importance put on manliness, which is needed in the worst way.
Man up!
GUEST POST – “The Practice of Modesty” by Ashley Crouch
Ashley Crouch is the Assistant Program Director of Love & Fidelity Network, a program designed to equip college students with the resources and training they need to support the institution of marriage, the importance of family, and the integrity of sex on their campuses. She writes:
US Marine Captain John Campbell recently made National Australian News by boldly speaking out about Australian women’s lack of modesty: “It’s about having standards, ladies,” he said. “What are standards? Well, it can begin by dressing in a manner that leaves something to the imagination to say the least…” Later he said, “Come on, ladies, don’t send us mixed messages. That’s what you do every time you dress with less than nothing on.” His voice was an isolated and courageous reminder that women play a significant role in preserving men’s purity; that women bolster men’s’ ability to love authentically.
In today’s culture, our bodies are often treated as instruments rather than as an intimate part of who we are – persons with an
immortal soul. As a result of this disconnect, there is a crisis of modesty prevalent in society. Popular trends and fashions come and go with arbitrary ease, without any thought being given to a specific standard. The virtue of modesty has all but become obsolete, while the few who make an effort to endorse its practice often end up sounding prudish and harping on rules, regulations, and guidelines.
Guidelines are in fact good and helpful, and can be found by doing a simple search online. Modesty, however, is not just about covering up so guys will not be driven to lust. Modesty is more and often depends on the context. For this reason, it is often misunderstood.
Properly understood, modesty incorporates who the woman is as a person created in the image of God called to love, while acknowledging that men and women are designed to be attracted to one another. The late Pope John Paul II spoke candidly about the human person “as a creature towards whom the only proper attitude is love.” Authentic love, however, is not defined by a person’s sexuality; Attraction between sexes is meant to exist between two free, full, faithful human persons and to blossom into fruitful love in marriage. Many women yearn to be loved and seek it through immodest dress or action. Tragically, the immodest dress and behavior of some women, while intended to foster and secure lasting affection, ironically attracts men for other reasons. A woman who dresses provocatively distracts men from love. She sends mixed messages.
Modesty, on the other hand, serves to open the gateway of love between persons by revealing who a woman is as a full person, an individual with dignity, not reducible to her sexual features. When a woman practices modesty, she simultaneously protects, preserves, and presents herself to the world as a person of dignity and self-respect; for through modesty, the beauty of her femininity is highlighted rather than objectified. Modesty flows from “moderation,” where all the elements of the woman are shown cohesively and beautifully.
Ultimately, modesty is about more than clothes. It is a disposition of the heart, and a consciousness on the part of the woman that she has an origin in a loving God, who has given her a great dignity and purpose. Each woman was designed to give herself fully as a gift, but if her vocation is marriage, this gift belongs only to one person (not the world.) The woman’s awareness of her beautiful origin carries over into her actions and dress, naturally and effortlessly. Her clothes are not a denial of her sexuality, or a suppression of her femininity. Rather, they integrate her sexuality into her whole being as a person called to love, and open the way for true love to grow. The practice of modesty encourages men to see a woman with respect, and allows authentic interpersonal relationships to occur, free of distractions, free from confusion, free to love.
So the next time you reach into your closet for an outfit, perhaps remember Captain John Campbell’s words ‘Don’t send mixed messages,’ and consider what message you want to send.
TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue
Click for TrueManhood’s Guide to Virtue
LEARN VIRTUE, LIVE VIRTUE!
Man up!
The TrueManhood Code
The singing cowboy, Gene Autry, had certain rules about what it takes to be a cowboy. I think what he had to say works not only for cowboys, but for all men.
If you’ll notice, Mr. Autry clearly stated that a cowboy ‘MUST’ do these things… they aren’t options. A TrueMan, too, doesn’t have the option to tell the truth or not, or to be a good worker only some of the time. A TrueMan can’t only respect women on occasion or have clean personal habits from time-to-time. In order to be a TrueMan, we work to possess the character of a real, authentic man, living out the role that God created us for, and we do it at all times. The life of a TrueMan isn’t simply a switch we turn on when we’re in public, or when we’re in a job interview, or when we’re trying to impress someone. It is a lifestyle, a complete and totally devoted lifestyle in which we surrender all unto the Lord, for He is our master and our purpose. The TrueManhood Code is a life of virtue.
May you always live virtue, and in all things, glorify God.
Man up!
