What is a Woman’s Role in Helping to Create a Culture of TrueManhood?

— GUEST POST from CATHERINE DiNUZZO, MA LPC (Wife of Dave DiNuzzo) —

When Dave asked me to write a guest post on his site, I was very excited because I believe that to truly change the current situation of manliness in society and to be able to change it to a (virtuous) culture of TrueManhood, men are only a portion of the solution. Another important part in this change are women!

When I first met Dave he was not the man that he is today. Now, I am not going to say that it was because of me alone that he has decided to “change his ways”, but I will say that it was a series of challenges that I posed to him, that began his transformation into the man he is today.

Dave has always been a man who was not afraid to fight for justice and for what he believes in.  However, when I met him, he was focused on doing it “Dave’s way”. I remember one time when we were dating when we got into a fight about something trivial, and he told me, “there’s Dave’s way and the wrong way”.   This was the way he dealt with stuff – his way… and passionately!  Now, what I have always loved about Dave is his passion and self-confidence, but this was an example of a time in his life when he was less-than-virtuous. What I feel Dave was lacking in his life when I first met him was – what I feel most men are missing – a woman to challenge and expect virtuous behavior. Looking back on it now, I don’t think Dave ever knew what to strive for because the women in his life never challenged him to obtain TrueManhood.

The question I pose is “how are we to expect men to behave a certain way, if we (women in general) lower our standards and accept mediocrity?”  We simply cannot.

My goal as a guest blogger for Truemanhood.com is to help give women the tools to believe in their own value enough to expect the best out of the men in their lives.  I agree whole-heartily with Dave, that if we are going to change the world, we must create a world of truly virtuous men; aka: TrueMen!  Also, if we are expecting men to make this change then is it going to take the women of the world to step up and embody their roll in the change.

I hope you continue to check the site as I will be posting regularly.  Please pass this along to your female friends… this is a journey that is meant for all of us.

Woman up!

~Catherine

Smokin’ in a Blizzard

It’s been pretty cold here the last few days.  The cold and snow typically get people to bundle up and only go out when they have to.  Yesterday, however, I drove past a car with the driver’s side window down.  At first, I thought it was because the driver was smoking, which turned out to be the case, but as I took a closer look, I noticed that a young boy was sitting in his car seat in the backseat of the car.  Now, this blog isn’t about telling people not to smoke – smoking is gross and everyone already knows that.  If someone chooses to smoke, they’ve already given up.  What this blog IS about is challenging males to be better, to be TrueMen.

In the case of this father (the assumption here is that the man driving the car is the child’s father), not only was he smoking around his child, which is statistically proven to [enormously] increase the chances of his son smoking, starting at a young age, but more importantly he was playing freeze-out with his two year old in order to smoke!  Yesterday’s high was around 28 degrees Fahrenheit!  Does it sound to you like the father has his child’s best interest at heart?  Or, as it appears to me, does the father have his nicotine addiction as his number one priority?

It’s pretty simple to see what the virtuous thing to do here is.  Yes, quitting smoking would be a virtuous thing.  However, the virtue of prudence is what this man should be striving for.  Prudence would tell him that he 1. shouldn’t be smoking around his child and 2. that he should wait until he’s not in the car to smoke, thus not having to roll his window down when it’s freezing outside and his child is in the backseat of the car.  C’mon, brother, put your kid’s needs and best interest before your cancer-sticks.

Man up!

The Power to Positively Effect Change

I don’t typically follow mainstream media, news or happenings, and I definitely don’t follow the NBA, so this story was interesting to me when I heard about it.  Recently, in an interview with Maxim Magazine, LeBron James (Team Captain of the Cleveland Cavaliers) was quoted, when asked “If there was one guy on the planet you could dunk on, who would it be?”, as saying: “If it doesn’t have to be a basketball player, George W. Bush. I would dunk on his [ass], break the rim, and shatter the glass.”  (LeBron is a known-supporter of Barack Obama.)

The friend who told me about this LeBron story wrote this to me in our correspondence: “Boston just beat the Cavaliers with King James and Shaq. After LeBron’s majorly inappropriate comment about wanting to dunk and shatter the backboard over Pres. Bush (more than any other person), I have lost respect for LeBron. How about dunking over Osama Bin Laden? In LeBron’s role model position, you just don’t show that kind of disrespect for the President even if you don’t like him. Not to mention, his poor sportsmanship in losing the playoffs last year… he wouldn’t shake hands after the game. Your manly opinion on this?“

In response, I wrote: “In my humble opinion, LeBron has no class, no leadership and an immaturity that rivals others.  He who, in his position, could effect MAJOR POSITIVE CHANGE on a global level. On a manliness scale, he’d rank very very low. No virtue = Not Manly.”

The reason I highlighted positive change (both in my response to my friend and in the title of this post) is because LeBron could bring about so much positive change in this world, simply because of his stature, his following and his presence in the media.  The trouble here, is that if you ask a fan of LeBron if he’s effecting positive change in the world, they’ll emphatically say “Yes!”  It’s a clouded judgment that some people can’t see past because he appears to be so influential and such a boost for the sport.  A TRUE boost to the sport would be challenging men to live virtuous, moral lives.

Just my $.02 today.

Man up!

Covenant Eyes – Protect Yourself & Family

TrueManhood Men’s Ministry has teamed up with Covenant Eyes to bring you and yours important accountability and filtering software protection for your electronic devices.  Today is the day – start protecting yourself now.

Click this link to receive your first month free.

Covenant Eyes provides not only a filtering service, but also accountability for the user.  For any man working on personal growth, accountability is essential.  This software not only protects you from what you see and come across online, but also sends a list of all sites and content viewed while online to your accountability partner.  (Your closest friend, your spouse, whomever.  Hey, you could send it to your grandma if that’ll help you stay pure!)  Covenant Eyes can track across a wide variety of devices and operating systems, with many more to come.  For more info on this product, check out covenanteyes.com.

TrueMan up!

Back to Campus

With most schools starting recently (or soon), I thought it would be good to address some issues about how a TrueMan behaves on campus.  A college campus, as we all know, can be a hostile place for an ardent follower of Christ.  It can be a treacherous minefield of explosive situations, abusive and vulgar language, uncomfortable environments and disagreements with unbelievers.  In order to deal with these difficult issues, here are a couple suggestions.

• Be yourself.  If you love and serve God, don’t be ashamed of it.  Live it out, your witness will come through – people will want what you have.
• Don’t give in to negative peer pressure.  Negative peer pressure is stupid… Real friends don’t force you into bad situations and surely don’t lead you into sin.  We call these people “nasty friends”.  If you’ve got ’em, get rid of ’em.  Don’t ruin your life holding on to people who are ruining theirs.
• If you are struggling, and think that you’ve got it bad or that you’re really suffering for the increase of the Kingdom, read about St Paul in 2 Corinthians 11/12.  That’s some good perspective, huh?!
• There’s a big difference between being a strong Catholic man who stands for something good as compared to a “culturally manly” guy who wants the “glamorous” lifestyle of money, power, women and stuff.  College campus life increases these bad desires exponentially.
• Many women on your college campus won’t understand the chivalry you extend to them.  Do it anyway, with charity and a smile.  Be a radical change on your campus.
• Being a Man of God doesn’t mean you can’t have anything to drink, or that you can’t go to any parties.  It means that you put yourself in good situations, that point you towards heaven and you act in moderation and with prudence.  Remember, Jesus hung out with sinners, but not when they were sinning.
• Strive for excellence in all things.  Start by being sober and chaste.  If you conquer these two areas, you’re well on your way.
• As much as it seems untrue, women don’t want to marry the dirtball, drunkard, C-minus-student types.  They want a gentleman, a man who’s going to provide for them, a man who loves them and shows their love by respecting them and by being self-sacrificing.  They want a man who is going to be a great dad and a hard worker.  There’s nothing wrong with stacking the deck on this topic!  Put all the cards in your favor from the get-go!

All in all, college is a great time for a young man.  Live it up.  Enjoy it.  In all things, be focused on Christ, live virtue and especially, live joy.

Man up!

From Plato's Republic, on Virtue

I received this little snippet from a cadet yesterday.  Thought it was something good to think about.

 

Vice in abundance is easy to get, The road is smooth and begins beside you, But the gods have put sweat between us and virtue and a road that is long and steep.

Republic, Bk. II: 364d

 

 

 

Man up!

Killing a Good Man Quickly

My wife and I were talking the other night about something that’s very important for men.  Man time.  She said, so profoundly, “I’ve never known a female who longed for, or who needed time with her girls like guys need time with their buddies.”  She also said, “If a man is married, the quickest way to kill him is to take away his time with the guys.”

We talked a bit about this topic and as I thought about it, I realized more so that night than any other, that my wife supports me hanging out with my buddies because she knows it’s best for me, our kids, our marriage, the Church and our world.  She supports my time with the guys because she knows that my friends are solid men that challenge me to make myself better.  She supports me because our time together makes me, and them, an all-around better man.  Some women might not know about this concept, so let’s bring it to light today.

There is a caveat here.  If the “buddies” aren’t good men, this idea doesn’t work.  If the men are out doing vicious (un-virtuous) things, it’s not going to build anyone up to be a better man.  So, this idea only works when the group, as a whole, are striving for excellence in all things.  If time with the guys involves drinking too much, finding women or causing trouble, it’s obviously counter to quality man time.

This is also not to say that man time should supersede family time, or spousal time.  A proper ordering of time with one’s friends is important anyway, but when a wife and/or children are involved, the time spent outside the home needs to be properly regulated.  This regulation should be the man’s responsibility; if you’re out of the house 5 nights a week with other things (whatever they are), it’s not good to be out another night on a regular basis.  Keep it monitored and all will be well.

To the women: the idea of men getting together, hanging out, drinking a beer, maybe watching a game, might sound trivial and pedestrian to you.  In some cases, you’d be correct.  However, when the caliber of men increases in the group, the effect the “man time” has also increases.  Encourage your man to find solid friends, men who are leaders and who love their families.  Men who are virtuous and who are striving for excellence.  This time away will benefit the family in ways you may not know are possible.

To the men: there’s a big responsibility with man time, so don’t blow it for the rest of us.  Keep it pure, keep it focused.

Man up!

« Previous Page — Next Page »