Vocational Discernment

Something that I’ve been discussing lately at the Air Force Academy among some of the faithful Catholic cadets is the topic of vocational discernment.  For those who may not know, a vocation is a calling.  (From the Latin, vocare.)  The world would like to suggest that our calling is to something like an occupation; something we are drawn to and enjoy.  Vocations, however, are much deeper than this.  Vocations are about the call from God that will bring us fulfillment and happiness in life, to prepare us for life eternal with God in Heaven.  The discernment part is how someone goes about listening to the call and applying that call in their life.

Many of the young men I have been discussing vocations with lately seem to know that they are called to the priesthood – however, they are all in different places with their decision making process.  One young man is denying his call.  Another is preparing to leave to enter seminary in a few months.  Another wants badly to leave and enter a religious order, yet, doesn’t have the support from important family members.  They are all journeying towards Christ.  In this journey, they will find their way if they keep their eyes on Christ.

If you are currently discerning your vocation – married, religious or consecrated single life -, I recommend you take the following steps.

1. Have an active, daily Sacramental and prayerful life.
2. Seek a qualified spiritual director and meet with him regularly.
3. Read good quality, orthodox, Catholic spiritual books.
4. Talk to lots of people – priests, religious, seminarians, married men, married fathers and single men.  Gather that information and prudently process it.  (Ask lots of questions.)
5. Spend at least 2 minutes per day gazing at a crucifix contemplating Christ’s example of love.

A word to family and friends of men discerning their vocation.  I urge you to support them, whether you agree or not with their decisions.  If a young man chooses the priesthood, via a call from God, don’t think that it’s an abrogation of life, or life as you know it.  The priesthood is an incredible calling and must be respected and supported.  Many believe that the priesthood is suppressing reality and suppressing sexuality and suppressing the desire to have a family.  This is simply not true.  Please, refrain from being a stumbling block in a man’s discernment.  Support him, love him, answer his questions, attempt to guide him.  In the end, however, it’s the man’s decision, not yours.

Here’s a short clip called “Fishers of Men” from the Vocations Office in NYC.  Click HERE if you can’t see the video below.

TrueMan up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – My Primary Vocation & Responsibility

Sometimes it’s hard to clearly determine priorities.  What’s really number one in my life?  Why is it number one?  What else must occur in order for number one to stay number one?  As a husband and father, my primary vocation is to care for my wife and children, and this is where priorities get sticky for me.  In order to care for them, I need to be with them, but at the same time, I also need to provide shelter, clothing, food and safety – the essentials.  In order to provide the essentials, I have to earn money.  In order to earn money, I have to be away from them, either at my office, on the road speaking or at other locations outside the home.  Since I’m also studying for my master’s degree, my time is taxed heavily.  This isn’t even to mention upkeep of the house and vehicles, house chores and other necessary errands that must be completed.  How do I determine rankings of my responsibilities?

I’ve found that taking myself out of the equation is the best way to make the determinations.  What?  Here’s what I mean… I try to remove my desires, my wants, my preferences and instead, place my wife and children (and all of their needs, wants and desires) first.  When I do this, I find that my emotions are kept in check (even though I might want to be making money, hanging with my guy friends or watching a game).  When my emotions are kept in check, I am able to clearly determine what’s important.  Keep in mind, that making money isn’t bad, and hanging with your guy friends isn’t bad.  They are both goods things.  However, if making money, hanging out with your guy friends or any other activity/project/endeavor takes you away from your priorities, they become distractions and hindrances.

So, when determining priorities, I recommend removing yourself and your emotions from the decision making process.  Once you do that, your mind will be clear and you’ll be able to clearly make the right decisions.  Best of luck.

Man up!