Where Are The Men?
Tonight, we went to Mass at a local parish we had never been to. I’ve been wanting to go to a Mass there because I know several people who are parishioners at the parish who really like it. After tonight, I’m confused as to why. Besides the typical architectural disaster that this building was, the misplacement of the tabernacle and the lack of Catholic art (good statues, stained glass, etc.), the sense of what was about to happen was not Mass… it wasn’t sacred… it wasn’t important… it was just a thing. That’s what I got when I first walked in.
As Mass started, I was highly disappointed in what was taking place… a jazz concert masked by the appearance of a worship service. Between the really obnoxious singers (all mic’d up individually, ouch!) and the electronic drum set, I couldn’t figure out what was happening… was it about the music group? or about the Mass? In my mind, the music was winning, although it didn’t have much of a following in the congregation. As Mass continued, I realized what the problem was. It was shouting at me loud and clear…
There were virtually NO MEN in servant-leadership roles! The vast majority of the servant-leaders were women, which has almost nothing to do with the women, and everything to do with the men. When men don’t actively serve in parish life, specifically in the Mass, a parish is going to suffer. Here’s the scenario at this parish; these numbers are typical for most parishes around the country.
- When we walked in, three women greeted us, no men were to be found. 0-3.
- There were 3 altar servers, 2 were young girls. 1-5.
- In the rockin’ jazz/pop/r&b, happy happy clap clap band there was 1 man, 7 women. 2-12.
- There were 4 ushers… all women! 2-16. (Men weren’t even ushering, ahhh!!!)
- Out of the excessive 9 Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, 2 were men. 4-23.
- The ‘commentator’, lectors and cantor were all women. 4-27.
- Oh yeah, the priest was a man. 5-27.
So, out of 32 servant-leadership positions, (31 really, when you remove the priest from the list) only 4 were filled by men! And one of those 4 was a 12 year-old boy altar server! This is despicable. Again, this has nothing to do with the women, and everything to do with the men! I’ll explain myself in more detail, in the next post… you’ve got to come back!
TrueMan up!
The NO mass went from Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood to America’s Got Talent. I guess the men got discouraged when the priest went from “in the person of Christ” to master of ceremonies, quite a come-down.
This is an important post. All too common. What message are men sending to young men and boys in the parish? That spirituality is just for women? That a man’s relationship to God is unimportant? God, as we know, is reflected in all of us and we all need to develop a relationship to Our Creator.
I recently visited another local church. Only two eucharistic ministers were men, and the rest were woman.
However, I’ve never really liked the use of eucharistic ministers. We had more priests…when we didn’t have eucharistic ministers! Yes, maybe the priests job was more difficult, maybe mass took longer…but perhaps those are small sacrifices.
I am a bit confused. You said that you know several people who are parishioners at the parish who really like it. First question is why do they like it? How large was the congregation? How many men attended, even if not in servant-leader positions? What is important here, the things of worship, the participation of men, or the joy of the worshipers? The big question is why are the men not participating in the worship, and what needs to change to re-integrate them into parish life?
In my next post, which I am working on and will hopefully post tonight, I will talk about the problems when men aren’t involved, and what it has done to our Church in America.
There’s lots of discussion that could take place about the Novus Ordo (The New Order of the Mass), but that’s not my point in these posts. In the future, maybe I’ll write some stuff about the N.O.
Br. James-Aidan — I’m not sure why the people who like the parish like it, I went to ‘see what it was all about’. I left with a horribly sour taste in my mouth. One of the people who attend is a good friend of mine and I WILL be speaking to him about it soon. Next chance I get, in fact. The congregation wasn’t large, but it was a Saturday evening Mass. I would say around 200 people or so. Yes, there were men in attendance, but that’s not enough in my mind. Again, my next post will tell my thoughts on the subject and how to get men more involved and invigorated for the faith.
Until next time…
TrueMan up!
Dave
One thing I really like about my new parish is that there are indeed MEN about! The Knights of Columbus are strong. The music person and the liturgist (a former seminarian) are men. Men cantor and play the piano and organ. Men lector and some are acolytes at daily Mass. There is still a vast majority of ‘Eucharistic ministers” who are mostly older women. The whole thing is dying out; no young people feel the ‘call to ministry for active involvement’. Yes, we still have altergirls which does cut down on the boys who would otherwise take on this role. But the male presence is here. And, maybe as a result, we have many young families and young people too; we are not a dying parish of mostly older women. At daily Mass, there are more men than women.
We are fortunate, no? At former parishes women made up the whole staff and you had to go through a powerful one to even get close to the pastor who may or may not be around. Women ran the show. I am one myself and used to stand up there at the altar too. No more. I do take Holy Communion to the sick and homebound but do not ‘serve’ at Mass. My place is not by the altar.
PAX
I say this all the time, even the Knights of Columbus disappear when it comes to serving on the altar.
I consider our parish fortunate. We are an Army Catholic Community on Ft. Wainwright, Alaska. It has always been primarily led by men in all the ministries (with a very hearty and enthusiastic slight minority of women who also serve in all ministries).
My own personal opinion is that men in the American (Western) Church, over years of liberalization and feminization within many churches see nothing in it for them. Unfortunately, they are lightly catechized, have little prayer life, if at all and do not read Scripture. They don’t realize that there is absolutely nothing lacking in masculinity or feminity to be a Catholic Christian. The Apostles and earlty Church Fathers were men in every sense of the word. I believe that the modern American Church (many think history began with their births) de-emphasizes masculinity in order to lift up women, dogmatically believed to be victims of male oppression. Big mistake. You lift no one up by putting another down – especially the other half of the human species.
Christ calls all of us and uses the inherent gifts that he gave us (gender traits being among them) to use for the glory of the Kingdom. There needs to be a general spiritual awakening in men. The Church should encourage men to serve in ministries or any capacity. It is a tough, confusing and stressful time to be a man. Modern culture, the media and secularization does nothing to ameliorate this problem. Unfortunately, neither does the American or Western Church.
One of the superficial appeals of Evangelical Protestantism is that it encourages male leadership and more literal scriptural interpretation of a man’s role in the worl and within his family. Our Church, for the most part and with notable exceptions, pretends St. Paul didn’t write any of or apologizes that he did. Again, history did not begin with our births or Gloria Steinem. Let’s let doctrine and scripture define who we are, not the media and secular academics.
Well I see no problem on having women helping out as lay persons in the parish. That’s a-ok… espescially if men are becoming lazy in serving the Church in lay positions (which is somewhat sad).
What I find horrid is the ‘mass’ you described… a typical example of liturgical abure 🙁
Oh yeah: Bishop should stop hiring crackpot architects and stop allowing this horrible modern churches tha look like a gym more than a place of worship
Maybe the men like it because there are so many women there. Maybe it doesn’t really have anything to do with th Mass at all!
“I will return the hearts of their children to their fathers.” Note that the Bible states a healthy society is when the hearts of the children are with their fathers! Our society tries to do the opposite. Men by their very nature will leave or move to the background for several reasons. First off, if things being handled and there is no need, men step back. Secondly, if they are brow beat all the time, they will back off and shut up. Third, the music, high pitch notes, will cause men not to participate. Fouth, boys develope slower than girls and girls can be very pushy with young boys, so the young boys will not become altar servers. When I grew up, I did not want to do what the girls were doing. This is perfectly natural. Yet people who claim to be enlightened by modern thought, want to argue the obvious these days. They want to deny what is natural to men and young men. They are like dogs barking at the moon. They are mad because men are men, and they want to change that reality! As Fr. Larry Richards says: Be a Man!
“At home, it is not only women and children but also fathers of families and young men who come regularly to Mass. If we were to offer them the kind of ceremony we saw yesterday we would soon be left with a congregation of women and children.” – John Carmel Cardinal Heenan, 25th October 1967, on witnessing the Novus Ordo for the first time a day earlier.
http://www.latin-mass-society.org/leomass.htm
Based on what you have said, I would say that there are just too many laymen involved, as well, shaping the liturgy into something man-made, and diminishing the sense that it is a gift that is ministered, first and foremost, by the priest. In addition, I would think that husbands, in an effort to avoid uncomfortable situations and in an effort to further protect their marriage, might shy away from situations dominated by women.
I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to answer that ques: Where are the men? So I’m waiting with baited breath for your answer. PLEASE don’t retreat to “Its all the N.O. Mass fault” position bc this was a problem long long before the N.O. started. Trust me, I was there.
This is an excellent article, Dave, as is part 2. Sadly, abuse like this is not uncommon. Like you said, Adam was at Eve’s side when she took the apple. He should have taken control of that situation. Perhaps situations like you described are paving the way for more serpents with apples. The men need to take back their roles on the front lines.
Women also need to understand that this is not about repression. We have our roles that no man can fulfill. We need to stick to those so that men and women together can foster holiness within the community.
While reading these comments, I was immediately struck by the lack of questioning of the lack of leadership and direction from the two men most responsible…the bishop and the pastor. When these two men (in this example and every other) wake up (or never fall asleep in the first place), the problem is solved (or nonexistent). Just look at any dynamic and faithful parish…same story anywhere…it starts at the top and #$@& rolls downhill.